Endo and sex life

[Sagada]

Hey! It's a bit difficult for me to open up on this topic here, but I'm getting so anxious that I just need to get it off my chest....

At the beginning of July I had my laporascopy and removal of ovarian cyst. It took me nearly 4 weeks to recover, now I feel quite OK. For more than half a year before the operation I was experiencing quite painful intercourse. My partner was super understanding and supportive. I'm not on any pill now (why-that's another long story) and I have to say my libido got really HIGH. I tried to talk openly to my partner that I'm ready to try again, we are close and, how to say it, we show each other a lot of affection constantly the problem is though that it seems my partner is completely blocked by his fear he will hurt me if we try sex with penetration. It's silly, I know, because it seems we just should try to talk openly. But it just doesn't work and we both get more and more frustrated and anxious. I even started getting crazy, that maybe I just don't turn him on anymore, what I know it's stupid, cause he shows me every little day how much he loves me... I just don't know what to do... we are always talking about how much impact this f*** disease has on us, but actually, it f*** up our partners as well... I don't know how to overcome his fear, how to just get back to 'normality'...

I'm wondering if anyone experienced similar problems in their relationships? Maybe you have some tips how to talk, how to convince that it's worth trying at least?

I know it all may sound silly, but I'm just desperate...

[princessk09]

Hey, I have had painful sex for a few years and just recently had my lap so I understanding how it can make you feel anxious about trying again in case it’s still painful etc.

Just try to relax as much as you can and constantly talk to each other. There is something but I can’t remember what it’s called but it can make the muscles and stuff sort of go into panic mode and tighten. It may be worth speaking to your doctor about it and they can give you advice xx

[ccsmith]

I had a similar situation after I had my ectopic then lots of laparoscopies. My husband was almost terrified to touch me. I remember we ended up booking a weekend away in a nice hotel. We dressed up nice had a meal and a few drinks. We were both relaxed and it helped.

We do not do it a lot as I still struggle a lot through the month but sometimes just spending time together hugging & touching does help with the emotional part of our relationship.

Best wishes