I wish I could stay.......

[4809cats]

I wish I could stay

I feel like I'm walking through water, maybe deep sand,

I wasn't prepared, I don't understand.

I wasn't prepared or packed for this journey,

my passport unstamped,yet not ready for a gurney.

Some days my pen flows like writing through jello,

When I can't pen the words, I'm so mad I could bellow.

I dreaded the days of blank journal pages,

Only to find myself there, my thoughts left in cages.

I try to describe without to much description,

My body is weary from all the perscriptions.

I want to smile and hug you all each day,

yet afraid when I shake I'll scare you away.

There are days of hope of a normal day

yet never enjoying it to the fullest, knowing it won't stay.

I am not unhappy, I'm just a very sad,

That I can't keep up, it just makes me so mad!

I mean not to sound pitiful, this is not what's on my mind,

This is a way to tell you why there is a time line.

I will not remain to develop the stare,

looking like a stone, seaming not to care.

So I will tell you now, oh I wish I could stay,

To grow old with you each passing day.

But my path was chosen by a brain left dying,

leaving you all leaves my soul crying.

[jupiterjane]

Damn, I feel in every line your struggle to lay the words down, and I, like you hate this stupid disease for stealing my my life from me. My poetry, my writings,my words are who I am and I feel lost without them!

[PatV]

I guess I'm fortunate--because I feel fortunate. Maybe I'm getting dementia!

[judam9]

i feel fortunate too, patV. when i hurt i sit for a bit. until the pain is gone. then go about my business. whatever it is that's happening, i simply adjust , and go on. if i had to think i had Parkinson's , i would get worn out thinking about it.

i just pretty much take life as it comes, if i'm sick i lay down and rest. however i am 78 and my life has been full. i don't know how many years i've had PD, but it doesn't matter. i have today. and i'm not guaranteed all of that. but what i have to do , i will do. and if i can't …. it really isn't that big of a deal . so the floor needs cleaning or dusting. just turn the lights lower, and put some shoes on. and it looks pretty good. i keep the house picked-up, and wash and put that away, then i sits for awhile. i do my exercises daily cause i know i will feel better. and go up and down the stairs , even if i have to pull myself up. it's just easier.

granted i don't have to punch a clock, so all this comes a little easier. i have gained 4 lbs.

which is hope to me. as i was down to 101, so now i make myself a daily choc. shake ,

consisting of "carnation essentials ", ice cubes milk and a powder from the health food store

called "serious mass". and two scoops of frozen custard. and it is really good. do what i can and don't worry about what i can't. i don't think about what changes are happening to me. i will adjust to them also.

you all have helped so much in understanding this disease. that's just the way it is.

[grandmasanta in reply to judam9]

thank you judam 9

[MGirardi]

You may not see the beauty of your words. However, they are beyond beautiful, and I will

treasure them as a gift.

[Hidden]

We can none of us choose how our life is metered out to us

but we can make the best use of it possible.

A wonderful poem!

[Jocee]

4809cats... I can relate to every line. Thank you!

[judam9]

thnk you so much for all your kind word.