Ever since I've been married there has been a couple of times I have found out about my husband texting/emailing other women. I was always too frightened to confront as it was a result of my snooping that I found out. As far as I know nothing else happened as these women lived on the other side of the country. About 5 years ago while working out of town for a while, he got embroiled with Porn. I prayed and asked God to bring it to light, which he did about 2 years ago. He originally tried to gas light me by telling me he had already told me about it which was so not true. Anyways gave him hell over it (and he knew especially how sensitive I am about that because my ex husband did this and the things I described above so I have a very heightened sense of things being a miss). So anyway fast forward to now. I was diagnosed in May of last year with my stage 4 cancer. To be fair my husband's been great, been there for me and to put it out there he was always very loving and kind. The things that I share he didn't know that I knew about. Again that whole woman sixth sense thing. To the outside world everyone thinks that we are just the best couple and how after being married a few times that my husband finally got it right with me. It just makes me wonder and I can't say the same. Even saying it out loud is so very sad to me. Now I'm dealing with stage 4 cancer and last week I stepdaughter came to me and said that she's not feeling right about stuff with her dad. I told her what does she mean and she seems to think that her dad is doing stuff behind my back. She says she has no proof but it's a feeling that she has. I told her I didn't have any reason to believe that and I never told her about any of the stuff that I shared with you but she mentioned a couple of things that were off to her as far as her dad's work phone having a lock on it and her dad always talking about a younger protege at his job who has since transferred. Anyway fast forward to this past weekend. His phone was kind of buzzing a lot when he was in the garage and I went over and looked and saw an icon notification that I didn't recognize. It turns out it was a what's app notification. Apparently my husband has been talking to some girl from his contact list that transferred to the what's app that I've never heard of.
The conversation was kind of the vanilla enough but him making a comment about being able to trust her more which I'm not sure what that means. Yesterday there was more dialog between them (i downloaded this app myself went to gauge when he goes on it to know whether went to look or not). I will have to get more information but because of my diagnosis I'm not going to tolerate being treated this way again. Of course I'm scared because my insurance is through him I just don't want to go through this. I'm weak I know God will help me, I know there is a reason that my stepdaughter came to me and there is a reason God allowed me to see those notifications. I know the easy to tell me Oh just confront him blah blah blah but it's my whole life I don't have anybody else right now and I got to make sure that I have all my information being accurate before I actually confront. I guess I'm just looking for a support because I don't really have any friends. Crying as I write this because it's so terribly sad nobody who is sick should have to go through this, our bodies are fighting enough as it is.
