Heartbroken- have I messed everything up now?

[EmmaThom]

My daughter's baby Charlotte Rose was born asleep full term, we don't know what happened yet. But I stupidly drank a bottle of wine last night after complete sobriety for over 7 months. I haven't been referred to QE team yet, I have no intention or desire to be so selfish and stupid again. Have I now ruined all my efforts? I'm gutted I was so stupid. My next bloods are due in 2 weeks.

[Tash7778]

Hi Emma,

Firstly, loosing a child or grandchild is highly traumatic, so I fully understand why you felt the need to have a drink but it’s obvs not great as you know. Hopefully it won’t have done too much damage but maybe ask your gp etc when you are speaking to them next?

Secondly I genuinely am so so sorry for your daughter’s loss. We lost our son after a stay in NICU last Christmas when I gave birth prematurely and I can honestly say it has been the hardest thing we have ever had to go through. It’s a heartbreak no one understands unless they’ve lived it. Please know sands have a great online forum for parents or grandparents, compassionate friends have an amazing phone helpline and lullaby trust have a great befriending service (all free) if and when you or your daughter ever need support. Thinking of you all ❤️

[EmmaThom in reply to Tash7778]

Many thanks for your very kind words, it is much appreciated and I am so sorry you had to go through this also. X

[Tash7778 in reply to EmmaThom]

Literally just take things day by day and have absolutely no expectations of yourselves! Here if you have any questions from a daughters perspective x

[AyrshireK]

Terribly sorry to hear of the loss of your grand-daughter. What a tragedy to happen to you and your daughter/family.

I don't want to kick you while you are down because you know fine well that reaching for the wine during a time of great stress and upset wasn't the wisest thing to do and from a liver point of view - if you are being put forward for transplant assessment then you need to find an alternative crutch for when time gets hard because reaching for the booze as you've done is sadly not an option going forward.

Hopefully you can still go forward with your QEB referral and all goes well but you do need to be very careful in that you don't want the door shutting on you as regards transplant.

I can't begin to know how you are feeling with your bereavement but alcohol is never going to solve any upset.

Thoughts with you at this sad time.

Katie

[EmmaThom in reply to AyrshireK]

Thanks so much Katie, your words are so wise and a great comfort. Would give you a cuddle if I could, sending my love and gratitude x

[redpoint72]

Hello love.I'm so sorry to hear that ,I can only imagine what your all going through....how upsetting for all concerned. Firstly don't go to harsh on yourself, reasons behind it...we all have blips throughout life,,,all of us,not 1 of us is perfect. If folk say they are,there lying!!!. We learn from mistakes...discuss with your medical team, all of your concerns...explain the situation love.

Just go easy on yourself.

One day at a time .

My best. Chris

[EmmaThom in reply to redpoint72]

Many Many thanks Chris, it's a great comfort that I know I'm not alone x

[Rshc]

I am so so sorry for what you and your family have gone through. Are you getting any support to remain away from alcohol? It sounds like you could do with some relapse prevention support to enable you to find other ways of coping when times are tough. I don’t know how long alcohol remains in the blood but I hope you will be ok at your next bloods and put this blip behind you and focus on getting listed so you can be here for your family for many years to come. My partner is listed for ARLD by the way so I do understand some of what you are going through

[EmmaThom in reply to Rshc]

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply it is a great comfort x

[teletonetapper]

So sad to read your post. My heartfelt thoughts to you all. A very distressing time and can understand why you needed a drink. Don't beat yourself up about this please. Your daughter really needs your "sober" support. You have done so well and will continue to do so. Stay confident and strong for your dear family.

[EmmaThom in reply to teletonetapper]

Thank you so much 💓

[kensimmons]

Please accept my sympathies and don't beat yourself up too bad over one bottle of wine. Just move forward from here and out. My thoughts go out to you. Stay strong.

[MrsWorried]

Heartbreaking for you and your family Emma, so sorry for you. As the others have said, some help with relapse support may be needed, but you know it was a blip triggered by the worst circumstances so I'm sure your medical team will understand. Don't beat yourself up xx

[Readlots]

Losing a child / grandchild is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. If you can stay strong for your daughter through this and not drink (and I’m sure you can) you’ll know that you can stay strong and sober through anything. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you strength and love

[Roy1955]

I would have done the same.Forgive yourself and move on.

Only way the Dr's will know you drunk that wine is if you tell them.

Some here will not agree but this is one time not being totally honest is ok

Dont do it again, your daughter needs you.

She needs her mum sober and alive.

[Ubwa]

so sorry for loss, similar happened for me with the same result 😩 don’t be too hard on yourself.

Are you under tp assessment or plan to be? If so please tell your liver team. The above is not true, they can tell up to 3 months of drinking. I am under the QE team too and they are very understanding she caring

[Frananncru]

so sorry for your tragic loss .

One bottle of wine is hopefully not going to impact too much on your liver.

Take the next few weeks a day at a time , speak to your GP explain you situation …. Might consider postponing you bloods for a couple of week .

My thoughts a with you and your family. X Anne

[Cat-B]

Hi Emma, you haven’t ruined anything, it was a blip, nearly everyone has them. You were grieving, you are allowed to grieve. Please don’t punish yourself, just take one day at a time , you can do it again. Good luck