Hubs has found himself in hospital after lying to me about having quit drinking. He nipped to his local on Tuesday (it's next door to the chemist and he was picking up his prescription while I was at work). He had two double vodkas and when he stood up, he pole-axed and knocked himself out.8 hours later an ambulance finally turned up and after I explained about the ACLD, the ascites, the no eating for 4 days, they took him to A&E.
I didn't hear anything from the hospital until Friday (hospital is not particularly close and difficult to get to on public transport and I have kids to take care of) when they said he had been moved to a ward and they were starting a drain procedure.
I managed to get to the hospital today, but no one available to give me an update, tho he did say they took 18 litres!!! I expected to see a difference but I didn’t.
He thinks he is coming home on Tuesday, but I'm not convinced that's going to happen.
Anyway, for the forseeable, I am effectively a single parent and lost. When he was home I was caring for him, dealing with the bed wetting, the vomitting if he tried eating etc, meant nit getting to bed til 2am or later, then up at 6am to start the kids routine, getting them to school then back to make sure he took his morning meds, getting to work late, home again at lunch to make sure he took next set of meds, back to work, school run and caring for him again.
Am I able to reach out to someone for support? We don't have any family to call on, just our own little family unit but I am at breaking point with exhastion, though the last few nights have been better with him not being here.
All his doctors tell me its important to look after me too, I just don't know when I am meant to find the time to do that.
Anyone that has been here in the past, is there a light at the end of this tunnel, some kind of respite, or community nurse type thing that can help with meds and getting him up?
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mrsstrider
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Reach out to Social Services at your local council. They have adult social care responsibilities and if they can't help they will certainly have appropriate contacts of those that can. A simple Google search for "adult social care" of your local council should bring up the appropriate information and contact details.
You, as a carer, may also be entitled to specific support and additional benefits too. So its worth making contact for that reason alone.
Good luck and hope you get the support you need and deserve.
Forgot to add, if your caring responsibilities are affecting your job, your employer may have their own support policies you can tap into. Not all will but certainly lots of larger employers do, so it may also be worth exploring that too. I'm not overly familiar with protections available to carers, but at least if they understand your circumstances it could at least ease some of those pressures on you by enabling some reasonable adjustments for you in your work place.
Sorry you’re going through so much. I understand some, but didn’t have kids to worry about.
You should be entitled to support through social services, they can at least supply someone to help with the lunch meds, food etc, if not breakfast. You’ll likely have to push for it. If he’s not receiving PIP you should apply for this and could be used for care.
There are charities that supply volunteers to give you a break as well.
You’re doing incredibly well, not that you will be feeling that way.
I have nothing to say apart from the fact that you have my sympathies, thoughts and prayers. Try to stay strong. Something will change soon. Can't say whether it will be for the better or worse because no-one knows the answer to that, but this is only temporary.
You should certainly contact your local council social work. You may find another carers support group locally, we have one, and they can offer advice. If you have stairs at home and hubby is at risk of falling try your local Occupational Therapy dept, maybe via GP, who can assess house. Also they might suggest a care package for your husband. Especially if you say you can't cope without support and respite for the family.
You are doing amazingly well but please ask for help, even if you are used to doing it all yourself - we are not meant to be Superwoman 24/7!
bless you , I have some idea of what you are going through. My partner hospitalised 23.12.21 and underwent a medical detox. I thought he would be home for Xmas but he was in for 3 weeks. It does sound like your partner is in the best place, he won’t have access to alcohol, he may be seen by an alcohol nurse and perhaps the experience is the scare he needs? In my experience there was no support for me but then again I didn’t really look into it and just focused on getting through each day and I had to fight to get information by making myself the biggest pain the butt! A year on we are as a family in a much much better place so keep faith have hope and try and look after yourself x
oh and someone above mentioned PIP we have just applied for this, I wish we had done it sooner. My advice is to find an organisation to help you with the form, it’s huge
Hi, try your local citizens Advice. They can signpost to other sources of support. They can also do a benefits check to see if there is any financial support and help with form filling if necessary. We have a local Carers Network, there may be something similar in your area. Also your kids school may be able to help support the children and put you in touch with others who can help. Churches also often have support networks. Your local council website might also have links to support organisations. And there’s your GP, for you not your husband because you must be suffering with stress. I know it’s a massive step asking for help when you’ve been coping on your own for so long. There is help out there and kind people who will want to help. Hopefully one of these suggestions will open doors for you. Good luck
Roy, if only it was that easy. Before admission I was told (community teams agreed with me) that care needed. In hospital they said they would arrange a re-ablement post-hospital care package. They told him he could go and he didn't need one " as he had managed in hospital".
Often you have to change your attitude and stop being a patient or a patients relation.You have to realise your a tax paying customer who is paying their wages and as such you demand the service your entitled to!
When my dad was ill my mother told them if they send him home in an ambulance she won't open the door.
Only then did they diagnose his illness(terminal cancer) and put home care in place.
If you don't agree with their decision argue your case.
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Finding support for carers
First time poster looking for a little support and advice for my hubby
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