Do not attempt to resuscitate? Or not?

[Andersl]

I'm considering getting a living will so I can set out my intention if my Annie ruptures to avoid the risk of living with severe brain damage.

Has anyone else thought about this? I'd be pleased to hear your views.

[malalatete]

Hi there. Yes, I did, (although in the context of the risks when I went in for the 1st neuroangiogram ahead of the surgery to insert the flow diverter).

I wrote and lodged my will. I set up power of attorney for my husband. I wrote my funeral instructions and gave a copy to my vicar. And lastly I wrote out my end of life care plan after discussing it with my husband and 2 boys.

In the end we decided that as brain injury is so complicated, and there are so many stories (you only need to do a quick trawl of the Headway site) of people in coma for weeks who go on to make a full recovery that DNR was not for us.

What was important was to agree that should the procedure or the annie leave me severely disabled then it was ok - in fact this is what I want - for my family to secure residential care for me and not attempt to care for me at home. That was a hard one to discuss but it was an important principle to agree because my husband especially wanted to 'do the right thing' by me, yet knowing him as I do I know that him looking after me in such circumstances would not actually be right for either of us.

It is a funny package of papers to have sitting in your filing cabinet in your mid 40s when you are ostensibly healthy. But I am glad we did it. We don't think about any of it any more...done and dusted.

The other emergency plan was to rehearse with the children what they need to do should I collapse. So they know to tell the 999 crew I need an air ambulance to Sheffield Hallamshire, to radio my neurosurgeon, to remind them of the stent...again an odd thing some would think to talk to a 9 and 11 year old about but they still remember it now a few years later. And anyway to them this was nothing new - they had been given emergency care drills at 4 and 6 after my initial collapse! They have grown up as carers - and therefore also as caring. No regrets.

It is perhaps the Girl Guide in me coming out...or my career length involvement in emergency planning, but I feel better knowing things are in place.

[Andersl in reply to malalatete]

Thank you so much for your response.

My other reason for contemplating DNAR Is to avoid my family having to sell the house to get care should I need it. I too don't want them looking after me.

I'm compiling a list of questions for the neuro radiologist. One is: if you had an aneurysm and got the worst headache of your life, what wold you do?

That should flush out where I should go and how ie by air ambulance. Thank you for the bit about air ambulance I hadn't thought of that option. All I could think was they wouldn't get me to where I need to be in time to prevent too much damage.

Like you, I'm making all the plans so that I can file them away until/if needed.

[malalatete in reply to Andersl]

Check out the rules on paying for care. I think that they don't ever force sale whilst the home is occupied by a partner and or dependents. They also dont charge unless you have above a certain threshold in savings (think it is about £16k).

Also check your life inaurance policies to see whether you have critical care cover included. You may find that annie rupture (which is essentially stroke) releases funds). I didn't have anything helpful in my life cover but another policy kicks in with something similar.

[Andersl in reply to malalatete]

Thank you. That's really helpful.

I think for me though i'll choose not to accept the risk and go for DNATR.