So down, so lonely

It was 4 weeks and a day ago that my partner died. Today is my birthday. It is such a horrible day, I knew he would never book a meal out or arrange anything special but would always say if I wanted to go out he would take me out. I like to think he might have done today as today is my 60th birthday and I have no one to share it with. I may have had to suggest we go out for a meal but at least we would go, now I have nothing and it is so so hard. I am sitting here crying as I type this. Going out on your own is just as lonely as sitting at home so I sit at home snuggled under a blanket to save money and keep warm. What a horrible day.

31 Replies

  • Please don't feel alone.I'm sure a lot of us here are with you in spirit. I know I am.

  • am so sorry carer999 happy birthday , it must be so hard for you think of the goods times you had with your partner, and he will be with you not in person, but by your side.a big hug and you take care xxxx

  • Happy Birthday carer999. My heart goes out to you,we are all thinking of you today. I t must be so very hard for you, take one day at a time it will get easier.I think you should treat yourself to something nice if its possible after all you definatley deserve it God bless xxxxx

  • Happy Birthday carer999...sorry you feel so make sure you treat yourself to something nice....


  • Happy Birthday. I really feel for you but it is early days and as I know the first of anything with out the one you love is unbearable unfortunately you will have other hurdles to get over.

    It is such a shame you cannot share these feeling with someone other than us on here, do you not have someone who will go out with that meal with you and make a toast to your partner so he will be with you at least in spirit? You can always message someone on here - me maybe - and we can also support you with a phone call.

    Again Happy Birthday and I am thinking of you

    Janet xxx

  • My heart goes out to you, it really does.I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but when mum had her birthday last month, 2 months after dad died, there wasn't anything I could say to her either. all I could do was be there for her. I hope you have someone there so you can have a hug, even tho it isn't the same. You shouldn't have to ring anyone to pop round but sometimes we don't know what to do for the best and staying away may seem right at times for some people. So what im saying is, if there is someone, family or friend, ring them. Have a good cry as I know you do every day, same as me and mam.

    But you know, you have got through the past month and you will get past today, I promise. Thinking of you xxx

  • Happy Birthday carer999 i,m so sorry you are feeling so sad on such a special day as puffthemagicdragon says we are with you in spirit xxx

  • Birthday greetings carer999 ((((((((hugs)))))))))

    Please click on the link below and give the Cruse (Bereavement) Helpline a call. They have people there who can help you with your grief and loneliness. I know they were a marvellous support for a friend of mine who's husband passed away recently.

    In the meantime, please know that there are lots of us here who are thinking of you right now, so you're not really alone.

    Don't forget to call that number on the above website ........ :) xxx

  • Heart felt sympathy. You're not alone, we're all here. I hope you manage to mark your 60th birthday, I'm sure that's what your partner would wish for you. It is very early days, try and keep positive and if you need support there is plenty out there and in here. Take care. Marilyn xx

  • Happy birthday to you carer 999 xxx

  • Everyone is thinking of you carer999, happy birthday although it's a sad day for you, things will get better.

    Lib x

  • Hello

    Firstly Happy Birthday, I really hope that you start to feel a little bit brighter from all the good wishes and hugs that are sent. Others do care. It is a difficult time so please access all the support you can, if you would like to have a chat in confidence or message me direct please do not hesitate to do so.

    Keep warm and please look after yourself. Grief is a process, and you will work through it, but there is unfortunately no fast forward button or magic pill. Life just isn't fair at times but again there is support here for you so please take heart. Is there anyone that can sit with you? Someone you can talk to?

    The helpline no is 03000 030 555 if you would like to have a chat to me.

    Take care of yourself.


  • Happy birthday carer999.I am lost for words.Everybody else has spoken forme.

  • Happy Birthday. What an awful time you are having. Please do call either the BLF Helpline or the Cruse (Bereavement) Helpline. They are waiting to help. ((((hugs))))

  • Happy birthday to you carer 999



  • Happy Birthday carer999 I'm so sorry your on your own for your birthday and it's a big birthday a milestone. I'm also sorry for loss of your partner but as someone else said it is very early days. Things will get better for you promise. xxx

  • Hello

    Happy birthday to you, your not alone you've got us so don't cry and chat away,

    Kim xxxx

  • carer999 Happy Birthday. I am so sorry on the loss of your partner. It must be so difficult for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Liz xx

  • Have the best birthday, carrer999. You will have seen all the wonderful messages written. They will stay there for you to study when you are feeling low. After all, phsyically you are alone but think of us all gunning for you Big XX Annie80x

  • Happy birthday. Hope tomorrow is a better day. x


  • Happy Birthday,what wonderful advice you have been given.Take one day at a time,and do make sure you get help,there is plenty around

    Big hugs, Wendells xxx

  • Happy birthday and keep your spirits up lass, everything passes - time is the healer.

    Have you got friends and family?


  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY carer 999. All the messages here are genuine, we do care very much. So sad you're suffering alone. Very best wishes to you

  • So sorry to hear of your sadness and lonliness today but please take heart from all the wonderful, genuine, caring people on this site. You are never alone on here and my heart goes out to you. I just want to send happy birthday wishes anyway from one 60 year old to another. Bless you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi carer999

    So sorry to hear you're feeling so low but the people on here genuinely feel for you.

    Hope you had as nice a day as possible!

    Happy belated birthday Liz xxxxx

  • things do get better, happy birthday baby

  • Happy Birthday -I was 60 in November so at least you are not as old as me. They say time is a healer so who are we to argue. Order a take away them at least you are not cooking and wont have to wash up. Sorry this all sounds a bit fluffy but my thoughts are with you.x


  • Happy Birthday.

    Hey! Chin up, we all have tearful days, I did earlier, I don't think I have cried like it for some time, but

    do you know what it helped.

    There are no answers, no magic wands . . but friends are such a help. You will find them here.

    xx Ros xx

  • Wishing you a very Happy Birthday :) x

  • The people in this group have hearts of gold.

  • Happy Birthday to you, I understand how you feel and how much you miss your partner, but would he want you to sit crying today ? I doubt it, if the sun is out where you are get yourself out and go sit in the sun with a bag of fish & chips, in the park, at the beach, and take a good look around at just how beautiful things are. The trees are budding, the bulbs are popping up, the birds are looking for mates and singing their little heads off, and you will not be alone, you never are when you have shared so much, your husband will still be there watching you so say good morning to him, then tell him what you are going to do today and then go and do it ! It will make you both happy then.

You may also like...