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British Lung Foundation
36,913 members44,083 posts

Puns for Educated (?) Minds..................Hi HealthUnlockders

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again?..........Oh,deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker,but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

England has no kidney bank but does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog ,but I mist

I changed my iPod's name to titanic.It's syncing now.

Jokes about Germans are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid,but he says he can stop anytime.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went,then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club,but I'd never met herbivore.

When chemists die,apparently they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians able to settle here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a trip to a Coca-Cola factory.I hope thre's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first.Then it grew on me.

When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stole.As of now,it appears the police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I needed dough

Velcro-what a rip off.


Richard Cornish


Has it dawned on you,your local Breathe Easy group is waiting for you!

Join now. Details BLF


18 Replies

Kingofthecocktails........tickled pink with that lot....cheered my evening up....


That's what I am here for,to cheer ivyleaf up !



Cunning puns Professor Cocktail :-)


How do you think them all up?.....No one chatting tonight....all gone to bed do you suppose ?!

or watching football which has just finished.....That will get the ladies on in disgust!!!!!



Hey I love football and I'm a lady! I follow Man Utd.

Bev x


Ok Hypercat.!.......I knew someone would come in on that !

some of us like a good game I know not bad last night.

expected someone to say FOOTBALL !!!! you,re joking.



Good game,Good game!


Man who????????????


You know. Top of the table by gazillion points :)


Each to their own ivyleaf.Football eh!


Yeeh !!! up the "Green Army" !!

actually we not doing that well....oh dear.



Hi all,,only found this site yesterday thru my breathe easy group,,nice to meet you all,,hopefully i will learn a bit more about copd,,i have it,,but apart from doing pr and the doc throwing a few inhalers at me,,i have not got a clue where i stand with it,,have managed to get a app with a consultant after bullying my doc but not till march,,,hopefully things won,t be to bad for me,,i,ll still carry on huffing and puffing while out with the dog,,,


Hi Chrissie,.and welcome to the site....you,ll find loads of lovely folk on here with lots of good advice and help.

Good food...exercise.[easier said than done sometimes !] rest when needed. your medication as prescribed and you should be ok.

but there will be others on with more experience than me. to answer any questions.

good luck

Ivyleaf, .


Hi Chrissie. Just wanted to say hi and welcome to the site.

Bev x


Just to good Richard, I have a big smile on the dial!!

Welcome to you Chrissie,hope you find the site helpful,

Wendells xx


Hi Chrissie , welcome to the site, sure you'll find lots of info here on many subjects to do with lung illness . Plus some hearty jokes from a few more versatile members, like the one you stumbled on above. We sometimes rant about injustice and try to put the world to rights. Hope you enjoy the help and other things on the site.


Hi Richard long joke , but raised the usual smiles and titters, thanks


Hi chrissie.I know very little about medication other than I know a laugh can always cheer people up.Welcome and pleasekeep looking in.



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