Thanks very much to everybody who so kindly replied to my post. It's tremendously heartening to know we are not alone in our difficult situations, isn't it.
As to a special day, it really was - 1) I went to a new dentist, 2) I had my eyes photographed but then 3) we went to an early dinner with friends we have known for 35 years.
It is difficult now my wife is my carer, as well as visiting her mum in a nursing home 5 times a week and looking after grand kids a couple of days. She's pure gold. I'm luck-she got the "foe worse" bit I think