Advice Needed Please: I am classed as... - British Lung Foun...

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Advice Needed Please

Poppy2525
Poppy2525

I am classed as vulnerable with serious copd and i am oxygen 15 hours a day. I am 71 my wife is 63 and apart from life's aches and pains is fit. But i cannot find any advice about my wife going out and meeting family and the odd friend and then coming back home and potentially bringing the virus back. With my condition if i did get covid19 there would probably be a 90% chance of me dying. I don't intend to get back to normal living until there is a vaccine available, but what is the advice on my wife going out. I don't want her having to be coped up not seeing anyone because of me.

Has anyone got any advice on this, as i cant seem to find much on the official websites.?

32 Replies
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Hi Poppy2525, I’m carer for Pete who has COPD, sarcoidosis and heart disease so I have been shielding with him. We have seen family through the front window but just recently let them into the back garden where we social distance. I’ve been to a supermarket once with my daughter and wore a mask and gloves.

I’m sure your wife could meet family outside using gloves, mask and social distancing measures. When home she would safely dispose of gloves and mask (unless reusable) and wash her hands well.

Lots of things are possible with precaution but I’m not rushing to go shopping all the time or to cafes etc. How does your wife feel about things?

Wishing you well. Stay safe xxxxxxx

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to sassy59

Hi Sassy thanks for your information, my wife hasn't complained but I feel that I am holding her back doing a few more things for fear of bringing the virus home. we get on line shopping and make sure it is disinfected as with other deliveries or leave them 3 x days. But apart from being careful what else can be done without gloves and masks, as it cant go on for ever and it would be selfish of me to keep her from doing a few normal things.

sassy59
sassy59
in reply to Poppy2525

As Troilus says your wife can create a bubble with friends and family and she can get exercise in the fresh air. I like shielding with Pete but we’re lucky to have family very close by.

I hope things work out. Xxxxx

Hi Poppy,

I think the question is, how does your wife feel about “ being cooped” up with you?

My husband has shielded with me, and is happy for that to continue.

If your wife is missing friends and family, I would suggest she creates a small bubble with those she misses most.

Also, if you visit the government dash board on coronavirus, under the heading ULTRA, you will find the total figures of viral infection in your county. Because it is total, you will need to check it regularly to note any increase. For example, where I live, there has only been one positive test during the last 2 weeks. This should help inform you decision.

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Troilus

Hi Troilus. many thanks for the advice, I will look that up and see what the figures are like

Troilus
Troilus
in reply to Poppy2525

You’ll need to make a note of what it is today, so you know when cases are added. It is updated each day roundabout 4.30 to 5pm

Hanne62
Hanne62
in reply to Poppy2525
1947Mags
1947Mags
in reply to Hanne62

Thank you for the link. Mags

Hi I will say from the stats I have seen the death rate for those with severe comorbidities is around 25%. Still high but nowhere near the figure you quote.

Troilus
Troilus
in reply to hypercat54

I was talking about infections in my county, Hypercat, not the country as a whole. Sorry if I didn’t make that clear.

My husband is shielding with me to make it easy for us not to self distance in the house. Last week he had to take the car in for a service, he phoned the garage in advance, he wore a mask. They were so thorough, they sanitised car after and my husband sat outside the garage for 2 hrs. When he came home he changed his clothes and had a shower. Maybe over the top but made me feel better. I now have my daughter and grandchildren visit in garden but they stay at least 5 metres away, but its lovely to see them. We have been to their garden and stayed for 2 hrs. I dont want to use their toilet so have to come home. Sunday I took a flask of tea and we drank that. You need to be inventive but safe. Loads if options. But I will not be getting too near anyone except my husband for a while to come

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Suzie42

thanks Suzie very sound advice, it is no good relaxing anything because the virus is still out there and although the Government say its only 100 deaths today, that's still 100 too many and no one wants to be just a statistic. we will just have to be patient and wait for a vaccine

Suzie42
Suzie42
in reply to Poppy2525

Yes I am waiting for vaccine, its our only hope. Take care

I think it may depend on where you live too. For ie if it's Leicester then I would stay home. Perhaps other cities are dodgy too.

As others suggest, if your wife safe distances whilst out wearing disposable gloves, mask where necessary then removes shoes at door, thoroughly wash handson return.

If I was shielding I think this is the time I'd be using the spare bedroom. Good luck. P

Hopefully your wife when out is still observing safe distancing, wearing a mask inside in public places, gloves and avoiding touching too many surfaces, her eyes nose and mouth when out, washing hands as soon as she returns home etc. Maybe you want to ask her to wash her face and mouth before you get the hello kiss on her return ;) All these things will help avoid bringing the virus into the home.

If you have a local radio station website (and if your wife is staying in the local area) sometimes statistics for your own town or city are posted so you get more of an idea what's going on in your immediate neighbourhood.

PS Love the flowers :)

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Bkin

hi Bkin thanks for the advice

I understand your dilemma . I’m also shielding but my husband has been working throughout. I feel he is a risk to me and can only trust he’s taking maximum care outside the home. He immediately showers on entering the home and I wipe any surfaces door knobs he’s touched on the way in. Don’t know what more I can do. But I worry.

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Chriskho

i dont think you could do anything else

My partner and I are self isolating. Originally, I was the only one to receive the nhs letter until a few weeks into the lockdown when he received the same message for having pulmonary sarcoidosis. We knew this pandemic was around the corner, so he started socially distancing himself at work. We had to effectively split the house. I sat in one room whilst he was in the other. We lived liked that until 14 days had gone by of him being able to work from home. When he eventually goes back to work at the end of shielding, we will adopt the same stance. With regards to being out, as long as it’s in the fresh air and at least a few metres apart (1 metre in my mind is nowhere near enough) he can have a one to one with his golf buddy without us having to resort to strict measures at home. Shopping, cafes etc etc are a no go area until everyone can adopt good and safe hygiene practices. I think everyone will be required to wear a face mask when shopping in the future. Until then, I won’t and don’t feel safe.

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Jandm

i am with you in everything you say its certainly up in the air at the moment and i do think we will be in fro a second wave.

Hi Poppy I can only tell you what we do here. My son has, CF and other diseases in his lungs, of course he stays home and protected but when I have to go out occasionally, I wear mask and gloves and as soon as, I get home I put my clothes in the laundry and jump in the shower... It works for us!! I hope you get sort... Best of luck. Xx

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Jamesmum

hi yes i think that's the most sensible approach

We are in the same situation as you. My husband has severe bronchiectasis, so as far as I am concerned we are both shielding. For many months we didn’t leave the house and garden. We have now been out in the car a few times, just locally and down to the seafront. Once we got out and stood on the beach on a not particularly nice day when nobody else was around. It felt like a massive treat. Like you I am very careful, handling everything that comes into the house with gloves, disinfecting things or leaving them in our “quarantine room” for 3 days. We have now had our daughter and family in the garden once. They kept to a patio area and we sat at least 3 metres away. That felt ok, but we don’t intend to do more than that for a long time. Yes, my life is very restricted but I don’t see any other way to keep my husband safe at the moment. As Jandm says the alternative is to socially isolate within the same house.

My new normal has moved online: exercise videos, coffee mornings on Zoom, lots of FaceTime and online games of Uno with the grandchildren, virtual bridge club etc.

I foresee this continuing right through the winter at least, so we just take it one day at a time. I figure if John McCarthy and Brian Keenan could do 5 years incarcerated in Beirut, often in the dark, I can hack a few months. (I hope!).

Most people I know who are shielding are doing much the same.

At the end of the day it is a personal choice what to do based on your own risk assessment.

Very best wishes and good luck.

Lindsay xx

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Valsha

Hi Lindsay

thanks for that i have taken on board what everyone has offered in the way of their experience and advice and i am with you is at the moment it is too soon to be relaxing anything.

If your wife is your Carer then she should have been shielding with you . If she has to go out in public places then she sleeps in a separate room and if possible uses a separate toilet /bathroom , or completely sanitises it after every use. . She should also leave her shoes at the door, then remove her clothing and shower straight away , then keep a social distance from you .

You can both go out fo a little exercise now but keep away from public areas . You are also allowed to meet up with one other person at a distance , but only one (always the same person) . They have to be sensible , making sure they are not mixing with others to much , and if feeling unwelll or been in Contact with someone else who is or has been , then they must stay away ! I hope this helps . Stay safe x

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Lleech

Hi Lleech many thanks for that

Hi. 70 I'm on oxygen 15 hrs a day.

My husband 64 is a key worker running a fruit and Veg shop.

We now have separate bedrooms.

As soon as he comes in he goes for a bath and change of clothing, only then do I allow him in the same room as me, physically distancing.

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to noraskye

it is difficult and not a great way to live but until a vaccine is found there is'nt any alternative

Here is the NHS guideline for you Poppy:

nhs.uk/conditions/coronavir...

Best wishes

Poppy2525
Poppy2525
in reply to Bkin

thanks Bkin

If your blood type O you have better odds

that's good to know

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