Just joined - my husband has COPD

[daveyshadow]

Husband (61) recently diagnosed with COPD. He is on a pulmonary rehab course and is hopefully a long way from needing oxygen, although a chest infection this time last year was pretty bad. So I am his "carer" we are also "carers" for his mum who is 85 and has macular degeneration and alzheimers.

So finding this all quite scary, especially the thought that if things get worse or he has a bad chest infection over the winter I will be the sole carer for two people. I am 52 and work full time, hubby has taken early retirement and has a small pension income each month but not enough for us to both live on. MIL does have carers in 3 times a day but she lives about 12 miles away and needs taking to her own appointments and her shopping done weekly and her finances sorted. We do have POA for her needs but not even discussed with hubby for us yet.

So feeling a little overwhelmed

daveyshadow

[sassy59]

Welcome to you daveyshadow, what a lot you have to deal with but all is not lost. You have found this site which is great.

Your hubby can live well with COPD and doing a PR course is a good step forward.

Can your mil get more help from the carers? Is she self funding? My mil is 85 with vascular dementia and is now in a nursing home sadly.

I am carer for my husband too. He has sarcoidosis, COPD, osteoporosis and severe back problems but we get through and our family live nearby which is a bonus.

Take care, wishing you well. Xxxx

[daveyshadow in reply to sassy59]

Hi sassy59 and thanks for your reply.

Yes mil is self funding. We have already asked the carers to do more, but mil is very independent and gets very verbally aggressive with them. She won't let them do anything basically even though she says she can't see to do anything herself. She wears the same dirty clothes everyday, won't let me organise a hairdresser for her (she hasn't had her hair cut in almost 3 years) and follows the weekly cleaners from the care company round telling them they are stupid and don't know anything. She heats her Tesco microwave meals up on the hob despite constant reminders to wait for the carers and I am sure the stress of all the worry about his mother is not good for my husband.

Luckily he is at early stage and is hopefully getting and taking all the advice and help he is getting. He has made a buddy on the PR course with someone at the same stage and same age roughly as him and they are being shocked in to acting by seeing where some of the other course participants are.

Unfortunately with our daughters both away at university and my family 200 miles away I don't have a lot of family support but we are starting to come to terms with things.

Hope you are keeping well, having read the BLF booklet for carers I hope you are managing to keep yourself fit and well and have some time to relax with all you are dealing with as well.

[sassy59 in reply to daveyshadow]

I do understand and empathise daveyshadow and feel for you and your husband. It’s upsetting to see your mil like that.

I am ok and try to stay well as l need to keep going.

Sending you and your husband good wishes. Take care xxxxx