Lottir

I have recently been diagnosed with emphysema after giving birth to my third child he is now 9 months old after tests etc he was 5 months old when I was told this is what I have since then I've been in a dark cloud still smoking guilty as hell that I can't give up when I have the most precious gift in the world my baby n two older children. I spent last 3 days being sent to hospital discharged sent back suspected blood clots in lung thankfully it turned out I didn't but chest so bad felt like I suffocating half of me thinks I'm a gonna anyway carry on smoking get it over n done with n other half is filled with so much guilt when I look at my children I'm so lost in this dark place I seem to have got bad really quick I'm losing will to live how selfish of me can anyone understand please help

29 Replies

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  • Hi am so sorry to hear of ya diagnosis ... Is hard to find out your ill but you must not give up.

    Smoking is one of the worst things you can do ... But I know myself I am guilty of that to along with a lot of others.

    Even if you cut down it's start in right direction .... I don't think your being selfish it's lot to take on new baby and told that we would all be going trew the motions

    At least you have landed at the right place for help and support ... Is hard at first but is not the end of the world by any means.

    Sure others will be along by time you give ya baby it's other feed to offer you there support

    Cheers wishing you well

  • I cannot think of anything worse than second hand smoke! I asphixiate if anyone is near me smoking now,( I used to smoke 40 years ago) gladly we are wiser given more information . It's not only you smoking but by copying children trust their parents so they will think smoking is okey......as we have done in the past! Treat each day as your new very first day and make it good for all the family. A Mother is the backbone of any family and if you are happy the rest will follow. Please look after your health so many people love you! Audrey x

  • Hi,

    don't fret, we are all here for you and the one thing that I can recommend to you is to contact Alan Carr easyway to stop smoking, google it! Costs £260 but they guarantee to refund your money if you do not stop smoking. I have given this as a present to lots of my smoking loved ones (who have now all stopped).

    Guilt is a useless emotion, so think positive.....I will stop smoking, I will get myself in optimum health....etc, etc, your children need you so you cannot afford the luxury of dwelling in dark places! Sorry to be harsh but where will your children be without you?

    Good luck

    Annie

  • So sorry to hear you have this awful disease. I agree with Annie above. I gave up using the Alan Carr method. Dec 7 2013 was my quit date it took no effort really. I know how your feeling I was in that dark horrible place when I was first diagnosed. I don't normally comment on here I'm a stalker in the background lol I've learnt so much from these kind people on here. Chin up girl. Things will improve. Love to you and your family. X

  • Ah a real life stalker - I am shocked :) Don't be a stranger come and join in more often x

  • Thanks cough. I will try!!! X

  • It is up to you Shocked how much you want to be involved in the site - please don't feel pressurised to take part any more than you feel comfortable with. Some people take a full part, others only post occasionally and some like you read it all but rarely answer. That's fine. I have a strange sense of humour :) x

  • I don't think your strange at all. I think there's some lovely knowledgeable people on here....U being one. Have a lovely day!!!!!! X

  • Aw thank you Shocked :) You have a good day too x

  • How horrid to be diagnosed with Emphysema so young, but don't despair, it is very manageable and not the end of the world, You know all the things you have to do,and you will, Ring BLF they will be of great help,also this site will offer amazing help from all the people with lung problems, Everyone on this site WILL understand exactly how you are feeling, One day at a time eh, Very best wishes,Bulpit

  • I was diagnosed with emphysema at the age of 58 having been a heavy smoker from the age of 14. I am now 72 and still chugging along. Emphysema isn't the end of the world. Perhaps your doctor can give you something to brighten your days a bit. Good luck sweetheart.

    Bobby xx

  • You will go on forever Bobby! :d xx

  • First of all put all of that guilt in a bag and throw it away. It is a useless and selfish emotion. then walk on into the sunny future with your children. You cannot go on wallowing in self pity. As another person said, this sounds harsh but everyone of us on this site has to deal with it and we have learned that it can be conquered. You can live with your condition if you live a healthy lifestyle, take your meds and get the cooperation of your docs. You have those fantastic children and helping them to grow into rounded happy people who are not constantly worrying that they have a 'sick'' Mum will help you put this nastycondition in it's rightful place. Stop smoking today, even if you start with those vapour things and I am sure that the good folk on this site who have succeeeded will give you lots of helpful advice. Sorry to be bossy but there are times when we all need a kick up the bum.

  • Ooooh I feel for you.....I could not stop smoking until I was so poorly, unable to breathe and that was enough to stop me smoking. Don't give up trying to give up! There is lots of help out there...and maybe use an electronic ciggy ? I have never used one so don't know what they are like to use, but they have to be better than the conventional ciggies. I gave up 12 years ago and so pleased I managed to do so, my COPD has not got worse and the guilt of being a smoker has gone! Good luck and keep in touch on here, there is lots of support and advice.

  • Post natal depression.

    You cannot do it alone so please get some help then you will be able to stop poisoning yourself and give your wonderful children a future with a vibrant mum, YOU DESERVE IT and so do they 😃 (guilt is poisonous too).

    Call BLF first thing on Monday, 03000 030555, office hours or email them with your number - please! (I have poor lungs not from smoking but from being brought up in smoke).

  • Yes,post natal depression,certainly seems to fit the picture.You must get help love.

    Another thing,you must be very young to have emphysema,have you been tested to see if it might be the alpha 1 anti trypsin deficiency.? Do ask your Doctor about that,as it is a genetic defect.

    Anyway,do please listen to the advice given you,in all fairness to your family,you must seek help,& of course for your own. You have to climb out of that black hole!

    Good luck with it all,& let us know how you get on,

    Wens xx

  • Hi Lottie xx. Big hug to you. I gave up smoking years ago with a course of CHAMPIX tablets from my doctor. It was easy. My son was a heavy smoker as well and he bought an e-cig. He started off on the high dose nicotine then gradually reduced to mild dose. He still uses it but his chest is 100% better - no inhalers or anything and has saved him a fortune !!! Please try one. It will be hard for you to just stopped when a new baby in the family can make life stressful especially if you're not well. We are all here to support you. COPD is not the end of the world. Take care xxxxxxx

  • Hi 201246

    Was just reading some of your posts. A fev1 of 65 is moderate copd Do you know any of your other numbers? You said your son used e-cig to quit smoking. How were his lungs before that?

  • I know it can be hell to give up but if you cannot do it for yourself do it for the little ones!

  • I know how you must be feeling as i have not stopped smoking either,i have cut down a lot but need to stop completely, and i feel so guilty and bad that i can't seem to find that willpower,even when i am struggling to breathe i think am i mad or what.My family are all grown up so i suppose that makes our situations a bit different, good luck with trying to give up,get help from doctor or nurse and be truthful about your smoking addiction. x

  • It's more than that I was sold for drugs by my dad at 14 yrs to a much older man who totally abused me physically mentally I put up with that for 14 yrs stirring tea clockwise etc etc i got the courage to finally leave even tho he stalked me for following 3yrs give up my home job life to get away have no family support n finally I get happy n bang this I'm not bad person just feel like life is bullshit anyway said enough thank you for all yr msg some harsh goodbye to all of u wish you well in yr lives

  • Life has been very unkind to you. Now its up to you to change this pattern and make life good for you and your children. if not, they will grow up needing drugs of some sort to get hem through their misery. Is that what you want for your children? You are very wise to come on this site, there is nothing like the kindness of strangers, let people help you, there really are some lovely people out there, maybe living nearby. reach out. You will be proud of yourself and your children will have a wonderful example. Love Iris x

  • hi i can understand but you need help with smoking which ask and they will help because if u dont im sorry to say it weill be so bad you wont be able to go to loo without feeling as if u are going to dier i know im really bad but left it to late to give up not smoked for over three years i did it on patches and vapour ciggy sorry to be so brutal but thats what will happen wish you well

  • Do try a Cisca Salt pipe really works and not expensive. Just look at a the reports about it on Amazon. Cant believe the difference it has made to me!. Nothing to lose and lots to gain, your breath for one! Start "smoking" this instead.

  • Try a Cisca Salt pipe, really is a fantastic inexpensive little thing. Just read the online reports. I am asthmatic and has helped me so much.

  • Stopping smoking is hard as we all know, took me a good few times now its 12 years since I stopped. Take one day at a time and please think of your little ones they really need their mum.

    You are probably fed up of people saying 'it will get better' but Lottie it will. thinking about you and sending love. x

  • It's hard I've been stopped for 8 weeks the more you talk about it the more you want it. One hour at a time, I was on self destruct mode for a while still have bad days but getting less and less after 4 months. You will get there . It helps here I don't post a lot but like to know there is always some one with help. Good luck x

  • I found it harder to give up smoking than to go on a diet. I stopped buying cigarettes but my Sister who smoked lived just round the corner from me. It was so easy to just pop round for one. I had to keep buying her packets. In the end I realised how silly it was and made the decision to do it. My Husband who smoked a lot more than me just decided today was the day and did it. It put me to shame as it took me weeks after him before I eventualy did it. Good luck with giving up. I'm sure you will do it. In the meantime I hope they can sort your chest out so you can live in reasonable health. X

  • In my opinion, since there're many folks willing to lend a person such as you a shoulder to cry on, you should probably do less of that and more of turning around and facing yourself.

    It may sound harsh but the fact of the matter is that not only are you damaging yourself but all those around you including your newborn babe who, if you continue on this nicotine path of self destruction, you will not see grow to even their teen years.

    It's not about you anymore, dearsie...; self sacrifice is in order so that others may live..., namely your child. Perhaps the 'losing the will to live' is actually wanting the destructive part of your habits to end..., so do it.

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