My Mum has a chest infection, Am I the villain?

My mum 93 has got a chest infection and her O2 when the doctor came was 95% they have put her on AB which run out today. I have RLD and herat problems and my O2 is 92% at rest at the moment and I am moving some gunk. So I have limited my involvement, to calling her to check that she is taking the tabs and if it is improving though out the day.

Now my bother in law who works for the ambulance service moving people drugs etc. non qualified. Made a statement that she should of been given O2 and does not seem to think I should be keeping away. He knows how difficult it is for me to move about and small infections can floor me. (Maybe the statement "welcome to my world" was ill advised) I seem to be the villain here I am moving house soon and need to be as fit as I can, I seem to turn infections to pneumonia to easily. If I could guarantee that I would be free from infection I would be there.

It is so true you can pick your friends but not your family.

28 Replies

  • Is a difficult one! If mum has finished AB's is she now free from infection? I still wrk part time and get quite anxious about people at work being ill. I make sure I wash hands regularly. And try not to have close contact. You can pick up bugs from anyone. How many times do tummy bugs go through a family! I work with children and it is true that often 1st 6 months in a new area, adults will often pick up every bug going. But you don't live with mum so poss more vulnerable.

    The last thing your mum would want is to make you seriously ill.

    I think if she no longer infectious go visit but otherwise would be cautious....

  • Once the doc says it is clearing I will.

  • Offcut, you are staying away from your Mum, as it will do no one any good if you catch anything from her. She will soon be at a non infectious stage and then you can go and see her. I am sure your BIL meant well, but his comments were ill advised YOU know the complete situation re yours and your Mum's health, ( and I personally think you made the right decision) you will be able to visit your Mum again soon. Hops she recovers well, and that your house move goes well too

    Love Sohara

  • Thanks for the kind words. It is one of those things that if you cant see it you must be okay?

  • I think we are ALL nervous of being near people that are ill, firstly our illness makes us susceptible to picking up things, and secondly & most important for me that to what many people is 'just a cold' for me can be 6 months on Ab's and poss steroids trying to get rid of the chest infection that follows the cold. Each infection we get damages our lungs......I say to anyone of us on this site. Stay away from people who have colds etc unless you simply HAVE to go near them, DON'T

    Don't feel bad Offcut, your Mum would not want to give you any bugs that she may have.( as a Mum I know that to be true) ..she will not be infectious very soon now

    Love Sohara

  • That is were I get my concern from I went from a little short of breath to very short to be told I have slight infection to then pneumonia and then my lungs collapsed in 5 days! 32 days in ICU 12 days on an oscillator and off work for 5.5 months. I am getting pneumonia about once a year now even though I have the Flu and pneumonia jab?

  • I will try to look up if you have posted before about your condition Offcut. Are you sure its pneumonia you get every year. It could be just an exacerbation. Have you had a diagnosis ? spirometry, tests? CT scan?

  • Exacerbations of COPD can, and sometimes do, result in death. They are very serious and should never be referred to as "just an exacerbation".

  • You are quite right toci, a careless slip of the tongue. Sorry if I misled anyone . I will try to be more careful in future.

  • I have had breathing problems asthma /bronchitis most of my life

    I had both lungs fail in 2008 due a severe infection as a result I have fibrosis, paralyzed diaphragm and recently found Atrial Pulmonary Hypertension with Restrictive Lung Disease. I also suffer from a heart condition that has left me with a lot of scars to the extent they do not want to operate on it any more? ( Cardiologist cancelled my pace and ablate! )

    I am afraid I also worked with asbestos for 10 years with out masks or venting! Was a smoker up to 1992 when I first was admitted into hospital with double pneumonia. My tablets for both conditions do not always agree with each other.

    It took me nearly 2 years to get my GP's to put me in for a spiro at their surgery ( I even had a letter from my cardiologist stating he was not happy with my breathing and he does not think it is the heart that is causing it) as they claimed all my problems were mainly my heart. The surgery results showed restrictive lung disease it was at that point they put me in to see a lung specialist. I had the full test in the plastic box and also lying down as I have sleep apnea attacks and the jelly on the belly scan :) I have 57% lung function upright that drops a further 12.2% when flat. What has been proven is when I blow out there is nothing left. Once I go past plodding I run out of oxygen very quickly but do process it well. But it is getting all of what I need in, is the problem

    They looked at my 2010 CT and x ray which had a few white lumps and a lot of grey on the bottom were diaphragm should be working. They put me in for another x ray but the letter to the gp had so many mistakes I rang to confirm they were talking about me? But on the letter he stated he has not viewed my latest xray?

    Sorry for the long reply

  • Oh goodness,you have been through the mill,no wonder you are nervous about picking up infections!

    As others have said your Mum would be the last one to watch you get ill

  • Sorry MSG.flew away! You do what you feel s best for you,don't worry about the Brother in law,he's not walking in your shoes!

    Take care,love Wendells xxx

  • Thank you for your thoughts I think she is more lonely which is made worse when you do not feel so well.

  • I think you must take care more than you take care of your mum at the moment, offcut. You've got less O2 than your mum. Reading a later post of yours below, you're very vulnerable. I would minimise any exposure to bugs as much as possible.

    don't feel bad about it, you're NOT a villain for being vulnerable! You're doing the right thing. I'm sure your mum understands that too. You made the right decision.

  • Hi Offcut,speaking as parent I,m pretty sure your mum would not want you to put yourself at even more risk than you already do.Give her time to get clear of infection then you can spend more time with her,,otherwise you,ll just keep swapping infections between you both.You,re not actually related to your brother in law so bollo to him!,!Stay happy!D.

  • I wish it was always that easy. They see me at rest and all seems all right, I try and fight my problems but I am not winning at the moment!

  • My Last lung consultant said I need to make lifestyle changes? When I asked how? All he could come up with was "go on a negative diet to lose weight"

  • The important thing is - you keep fighting.

    And, in my opinion, it would have been pure stupidity to visit your mum under those circumstances. But there again, I am not an unqualified ambulance person! x

  • ;)

  • I think I am being given the family guilt trip. My mum is not the best of people when ill.

  • Your BIL as you say is not qualified, offcut, moving people and drugs. I have a friend who answers 999 Ambulance calls but she isn't qualified to tell me how to manage my Emphysema. Stay as you are do what you can do for your Mum and good luck with the move. xx

  • stethoscope does not a doctor make ;)

  • How are you feeling today Offcut? and how is your Mum? it may not be long until you can get along to see her

    I am sure once you get to see her, and tell her why you haven't been able to visit , she will understand.

    I hope things will look up for you and your Mum very soon

    Love Sohara

  • I had a real bad nights sleep last night. The house we are buying is taking forever to get closed down, to move it seems they are delaying the move to make life easy for them by not completing forms! They sent one back with page 5 onwards filled in and the first 4 blank?

    I know we are going to have some nice hot days soon but they do not help me! :(

    My mum is the same and the doctor is going back to see her today.

  • Hang in there. A wise woman who has recently moved had as her slogan one day at a time. It works. x

  • Doctor came to my mums today and the infection is clear in the one lung and moved to the other ? So different AB's.

    To top my day, my solicitor called to tell me that the house we are buying, owner has not had his mortgage approved yet!!!!!!!!

  • Count to 10 ....and breathe....

  • Do not think I can get to 10 ;)

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