British Lung Foundation

Joke of the Day

A Poem.

I have a little Satnav

It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend

It tells you where you are

I have a little Satnav

I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones

My Satnav is my wife

It gives me full instructions

Especially how to drive

"It's thirty miles an hour", it says

"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever

Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively

Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front

And all those to the rear

And taking this into account

It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car

It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counselling

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,

Makes sure I'm properly fed,

It washes all my shirts and things

And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages

And my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then

I could turn the bugger off!

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37 Replies

Loved it Berwick, that's a corker! xxx

1 like

Are you sure this poem wasn't written by my husband.

lol xxx

Very funny ...Audrey

That was good to start the day with.Lola

Loved it, and I'm female. Sounds like my mum.

Love it. Sounds like my husband until, cooks and cleans.

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Brilliant love it lol.

Clever, Berwick, if you make a mistake and ignore the satnav?

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I just love this and to be honest, it sounds exactly like me lol:-)

And me. ;)

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Hey Berwick who can we shout at (when we're alone of course!), use foul language to and say the rotten things to, we'd otherwise get arrested for but the blasted sat nav. We can even murder it by firing it out the car window in a rage (as long as we are careful to make sure no one is watching!) and we won't get sent away! Sara.

Think I missed the point on this one!!!

Love it

Haha, that was totally my mother in law. ...... indicate George ...... change down George ...... right hand down a bit George .......

Very funny and good.

I don`t have the distinction between wife and the tomtom, I argue with both, about where I am and where I`m going.

one doesn't argue back, and the other.............makes me sleep on the sofa.


Really great and so true, thanks.x

Sounds like my old man apart from cooking and cleaning. If he did the cleaning he could satnav me all day.LOL

That's a cracker to coin a phrase


Oh Berwick. I think this is absolutely fantastic. Laughed my head of and read it to my husband. Does you good to laugh. Thank you

Pergola 1 well then it WILL have to have the last word!

Pergola 1 then it WILL have to have the last word if it kills it!!!

That's a corker. Was feeling a bit low today but that has helped. popplewell

Brilliant absolutely brilliant.

That was so enjoyable ! :)

Brilliant Berwick just what we needed to cheer up a dreary Sunday thank you

Love it berwick. So much i copied it to my facebook page

Keep them coming!

LOL wonderful - thank you xx

We've just returned from a journey from Devon to Windsor using sat-nav for the first time ever so this made me chuckle. Thanks.


Great one Berwick. Doesn't say much for us woman. Or is it that all men are bad drivers. X

Or does it mean all men need looking after and telling what to do.x

Loved it Berwick. Does that mean all woman are the same. Or. Are all men bad drivers. Ha! Ha! X

Definitely Steph57. X

"Ha ha ha! Brilliant keep the poems coming! This poem caused me to laugh straight away,needed a good laugh Thanks,I love it, have a good week with many more to come!

that one is really clever berwick,, and very funny ,, great

A woman's intuition has to be expressed! She would be at a loss if it had to be kept a secret! God created Eve and gave her a big mouth!!!

I met one like that and she dances quite well, doing all those old time and new vogue styles. The problem and issue is when the music stops she starts just as per the above description- because she's a born and bread natural winging pom! some sort of press button gagging device would be helpful at times.

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