My mum

I'm not sure where to start this really, and so many new people here since my last post, but hopefully a few may remember me. Although I haven't commented much, I have popped in to see what's happening although not as often I would like.

I have been meaning to write this for over a week but the words just wouldn't come.

My beautiful mum lost her battle with emphysema in the evening of 20th December. She died in my arms at home, where she wanted to be.

Even though we knew she was really ill, we didn't expect her to go so quickly, she was ok the day before but so bad when she woke up on that Friday. Trying to get up out of bed and she was fighting so hard to breathe, becoming sweaty and clammy. Ironically she didn't have a chest infection, I just think her little body couldn't fight any longer.

I promised her last Christmas that I would look after her until the end and I did, thank God, I did.

We say our final goodbye on this coming Friday, I just want it to be over.

I just wanted to let you know

Val xxxx

29 Replies

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  • I am so very sorry she had a lovely caring daughter ,my thoughts are with you love Dorothy xxx

  • oh dear oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear your news Poppin but how lovely that you were there for your Mum right to the end. She must have felt truely loved.

    Of course you're remembered, I for one will be thinkng of you next Friday xxxxxx Peeg

  • Thank you Newlands and Peeg, I appreciate your kind words xx

  • Hi Val, I am so sorry to hear your Mum has passed away and I am so glad that you were at the end that is something you will treasure for the rest of your life, You are in Me and Frans Prayers. Matt/Fran

  • Sorry to hear your sad news Val I share your sadness I lost my sister-in-law just before Christmas, your mum is at peace now no more suffering.Hope all goes well for you in the coming weeks. Loss is never easy at any time but this time of year always seems to be sadder. Will be thinking of you take care xx

  • Words can't express my sadness for you - or my pride that you were there for her until the end. God bless you both. xx

  • Hi Poppin. I'm new since you were here. I'm so sorry you have lost your Mum. I lost mine seven years ago and my Dad two years. I know how you are feeling right now. My Sisters and I plus my Dad were with her when she went. X

  • Katie, I am so sorry for your loss also.

    Everyone's kindness and understanding mean so much

  • Hello Val

    I'm so very sorry to hear of your sad loss, but what a wonderful daughter you are I'm sure your mum was very proud.

    You did everything thing you could and respected her last wishes which is lovely. Time is a great healer.

    God bless and Happy new year to you.

    Kim xxxxxx

  • Val I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I am sure that she was so pleased to have such a wonderful daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Judith x

  • So sorry for your loss.

    I hope my daughters are as good to me as you have been to your mum.

  • Val cariad, you have been an amazing daughter & I,m so very sorry for your loss, I wish I had the words to ease your pain but there arn't any, so I,ll just say God Bless you cariad & thank God that people like you make our lives so much easier just by your presence

    Take the best care of you now

    Karen xxxx

  • Dear Val,I didn't need any reminder to who you are.I remember praising you before,for the wonderful daughter you were to your Mum.So glad you were with her,on the next stage of her journey.She would have had so much comfort & love from you.

    My heart goes out to you now,& will be thinking of you on Friday.Remember she is at peace now,no more struggles.

    God bless, & be kind to yourself,you deserve it xxxxx

  • So sorry for your loss. Berwqick xxx

  • Val I am so very sorry that you have lost your lovely Mum. It is one of the most difficult things to come to terms with. I don't think we are ever ready to say goodbye to our Mothers. What a wonderful gift though, being able to keep your word and being there for her right up to the end. I am sure she knew you were and appreciated it. God Bless you and keep you strong for the days ahead especially for Friday. You are in my thoughts. M x

  • Good morning Val, this weather sure goes with the sad time we are going through. Hope you are having as good a day as can be, you did your best for your mum now you must pamper yourself a little take care X

  • Thank you, all of you.

    Even though we knew we were on borrowed time, and you think you are prepared for it, trying to come to terms with her death is so painful. I know she is no longer struggling and is finally at peace, her death is a blessing, it's so bloody hard.

    I'm still staying at my mum's house, at least until next week, to help my dad. He is lost, wandering about the house etc., not knowing what to do with himself. I have a feeling I will be transferring my caring role to him.

  • So very, very, sorry to read your blog; but you really did all that your Mum wanted and in time you will realise this. You will need lots of help in the coming months - never hesitate to get that help and keep communicating with your friends.

    Will be thinking of you Friday.

    Love Emmo xxx

  • So sorry for your loss but has a mother to have your daughter look after u to the end would be the greatest comfort for her .

  • I am sorry you lost your mum but she went knowing she was loved and cared for. That is a wonderful thing to do for your loved one. She was blessed to have such a lovely daughter. Now smile when you think of her. Conjure up all the best memories and remember her just like that. Love Alison

  • So sorry to hear your sad news Val. It is very hard to lose your mum, especially when you are her carer as well. My thoughts are with you as you try to come to terms with your loss. Thank God she had such a loving, caring daughter with her right up to the end.

    Kath xx

  • Oh Val, am so sorry to hear this, it's heartbreaking to lose a parent. You will find peace knowing that you were with her til the end and that she is now not suffering any more. I am so hopeless with words at times like this, just to say I know you and dad find some comfort and support in each other. Love, Libby xxx

  • Dear Val this coming Friday will be the hardest day I remember the day we said our final goodbye to Mom but looking back some of her best mates were there to help and without them I would of never got through the morning, this was our first Christmas without her and like your mom we were not expecting her to go you will be in our thoughts this coming Friday xx

  • Thinking of you, it is sad but at least you can think of your loved on being able to breathe and rest now she is at peace. Be proud of yourself for looking after her the way you did and try to remember the good times. I lost my dear husband of 31 years in October and am going to live life to the fullest in his honour and memory.

  • My heart goes out to you for your loss but at least she's in a better place now and nice to be at home at the end x x

  • I am so sorry that your dear mum has passed away, Friday will be a blur to you, you will be on auto pilot, but you kept your promise to her, you cared for her in her last days, I did just the same as you in my mum's last year with us,I saw her every day, I was with her when she passed, I still get upset now, 4 years on but I am glad I was with her. It does hurt but you will look back and know that it was part of the healing process those last few hours you spent with your mum.

    My thoughts will be with you on Friday. xx

  • I am truly sorry for your loss, but to be with her and comfort her will have made the passing so much easier. I will be thinking of you on Friday, many hugs, Karen

  • So sorry to hear this news Val.

    Your Mum is free from discomfort now and breathing easy.

    God bless you for a the care you gave to her.

    Walk freely knowing your Mum is now free and unrestricted ... and in fondness remember a time when you both are walking freely together.

    Perhaps you can share these special memories with your Dad.

    Thoughts to you both. BC X X

  • So sorry for your loss Poppin, but you are to be commended for looking after your mum, many daughters wouldn't bother these days. Good luck with Friday. Take care. Cheryl

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