Daily Laughter

As a result of complaints that some people could not take 2 pages and complaining of spilled coffee and sore ribs Either stop drinking as you have the shakes or thank you for laughing.

Today as a result I am looking after your health and welfare you only have one page He he

For what you are about to receive may you always be grateful

There once was a lad from the south;

Who rarely opened his mouth.

And when he did

Everyone hid

And cried ‘Good lord, close your mouth!’

Now see the beautiful sunset ore the ocean blue

Fiery colors due abound of poems there are a few

I wish that I could write one, about that perfect hue

But nothing rhymes with Orange

Orchards stretch for miles, they never seem to stop

There nectar baring fruit is one that’s hard to top

A fruit that justifies a sonnet, but might as well be rock

But nothing rhymes with Orange

How do I describe a basketball?

Or the bricks within my garden wall

The autumn leaves before they fall

But nothing rhymes with Orange

So the hardest line you’ll ever write

One to keep you up all night

So please tell if you might

What the hell rhymes with ORANGE?

Girl Came Angrily Out Of Boss’s Cabin

A Friend Asked- Why are you so sad?

Girl- He Asked Me are you Free Tonight?

I Said Absolutely Free Sir…

That idiot Gave 60 Pages To Type!

Little Johnny goes to the manager at convenience store and asked, “Is this store open all day, seven days a week, 365 days a year?”

“Yes,” the manager answered, puzzled at the question.

“Well, then,” he continued as he walked out, “why are there locks on the doors?”

Mr. Anderson: I am very lucky. When I talk with my wife, she always bows her head.

Mr. Smith: That’s great man, wives like that are hard to find.

Mr. Anderson: Not really, she bows because she is taller than me.

Teacher : What is the longest word in the English language?

Little Johnny : Smiles

Teacher : How?

Little Johnny : There is a mile between the first and last letters!

A man to his friend…

My mother in law died yesterday, I am trying to cry, But tears are not coming out, What do I do


Friend: No problem, just imagine she is back..

A famous inspirational speaker said:

“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife.”

Audience was in shock and silence.

He added: “She was my mother”

(A big round of plause & laughter)

A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.

After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:

“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife”

Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker.


By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!


Moral: Don’t Copy, if you can’t Paste

Dirty dishes prove I feed my family, a full bin means I clean up after their messes, messy floors mean I let my children have fun, pile of unfolded laundry means I keep my family in clean clothes, wet bathroom means I bathe my kids! So the next time you walk into my house and see a "mess" think twice before you judge. If you come over to see us, come on in...if your coming over to see my house please make an appointment.

What goes in hard and solid then comes out soft and sticky?


* What's about 6 inches long, has a vein running down it, and women love to get their hands on?

A $100 bill.

I was at the post office yesterday and I say this blonde talking into and empty envelope, I ask her what she was doing and she said be quite I am try to sent a voice mail.

go compare, go compare, give me a bat to hit that **** at go compare.

Husband and wife pass a field of cows, sheep and pigs,the husband asks his wife < relatives of your and the wife replied well yes they are my in - laws

Great wifes will let their husbands lick the beaters after making a cake. Great wifes will make sure that it is turned off first

I was so excited yesterday they told me that I was chosen to do a random drugs test,, I said that's good which one do I test first

and finally

Pirate walks into a bar and the bar tender said you have a steering wheel attached to you zip , pirate replies yei it's driving me nuts

Hope you have enjoyed them Have a great day one and all

10 Replies

  • Thank you for putting a smile on my face!

    Best wishes


    Ps the shortest poem i know is

    Milton's bust

    Gathers dust.

    Enjoy your day

  • You realy know how to start my day off! big smiles and thankyou's Berwick they were brilliant!' :D :D :D XXXX Have a great day!!!! xxxxxxx :)

  • You shouldn't interrupt me when I'm sending voicemails... :P

  • Borange, Lozenge...........

  • Great start to my day puts a smile on my face as I do my cleaning

  • Poor orange haha LoL :-)

    koala x

  • Nice to have a bit of fun and lots of laughter berwick. Thank you very much for that. Hope you are doing well. xxxxx :)

  • Sassy59 I thank you for your comments. I am a bit annoyed today as someone has deleted today's Daily laughter, so until I can get an answer who done it, I am afraid I will not be doing any more. If I have offended anyone I apologize and I thank those who I have helped to bring a smile on their faces. Thank you

  • I am not easily offended but people who are need not read the blog. I wondered what had happened. Oh well. You take care. xxxxx

  • very good thanks xx

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