is it just me but I noticed recently despite members giving good replies to various posts the author does not acknowledge our respond ? Are these people genuine.
replies : is it just me but I noticed... - British Heart Fou...
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gilreid1
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MilkfairyHeart Star
I have noticed too.Maybe they don't receive the response they expected 🤷♀️
I expect they go off and do whatever is recommended, intending to come back with the result, and forget to do so!
Good answer. But not all replies are advice. Many are about our own experience.
Most of the new posters are terrified - remember that? You spend a very quick moment of your life absorbing as much information as you can, and not really thinking.
The fact this forum isn’t a traditionally formatted forum doesn’t help!
I am afraid that has been the case since I joined some time ago so it doesn't surprise me. I did comment on this at one time but was pilloried for saying that, many members saying those who ask a question do not need to respond to answers. Go figure that 🤔
Like many things good manners seem to be a thing of the past.
Thanks for sharing
I must say it’s something I’ve noticed happening more often these days, too. It seems to me that if you’ve taken the time to post a question, you’re presumably also taking the time to read the replies, so a simple “thank you” or even just a press of the “like” button whilst you’re there only takes a second. I appreciate there’s no obligation on the original poster to do so but a simple acknowledgment of the fact that someone has taken time out of their own day to try and help just seems a matter of courtesy to me.
Totally agree
maybe people have enough on their plate with the medical issues and they never get round to replying, liking as it's not on the top of their list of things to do...
gilreid1• in reply to
? But why ask.
• in reply togilreid1
because this is a forum , people have the option to ask questions, get answers and then respond as they see fit. They may have got all they need but don't feel the need to respond. Its just people being people.
Doesn't bother me, as long as someone has found the replies useful and helpful then that's all that counts.
roughquest• in reply to
100%
Hello 
I have been observing this to
We are all different but I always think if someone has been kind enough to reply if the reply or not is helpful how long does it take to just simply say
Thank You
Those two words can go a long way and simple to write or say x
exactly.
Maybe they have other things on their mind! Any advice/help I give others is given freely, I don't feel I need acknowledgement or thanks. Most of the time people are asking because they're distressed, worried etc, if anything I've said has helped in anyway I personally think that's really all that matters.
Absolutely agree, Lezzers.
To give one scenario. When I first contacted the forum. I was distressed, and overwhelmed. Then I received these lovely, generous unselfish replies focussing only on MY problem. It was heart-warming. But responding to all replies was not the first thing on my mind, I had very little energy. I was simply trying to survive…..
If people want to reply thats fine. But surely we shouldn't expect one, or judge or complain if we don't get one?
While I do agree with you to some extent this issue is raised quite a lot.While I do think a simple 'thank you' response would be nice and it does show your post has been read, many people post that maybe the person who asked the question is to busy to reply.
I suppose you have to decide whether you have something worth contributing and if so answer anyway.
I always think that even if the thread starter doesn't acknowledge your reply someone else will find it useful so keep posting.
👍
I have noticed the same and thought it was just happening to me.
Me too!
I’ve found most people have responded and I always thank them
• in reply toStent2024
I have found the same, I always thank and respond and have made some lovely friends here and I thank them all for helping me through a very difficult time
I think you will find that some posts get lots of replies and as i have found the replies often say roughly the dame thing. So am i expected to reply to say 12 responses individually? If i get loads of responses i click on the heart button for a like and perhaps post a single post saying thanks for all the replies. Not always as i simply forget or dont feel up to it.
I appreciate the replies very mucb as i think all do and if someones really rings true with me i shall reply specifically to those ones.
When i reply to someone im not expecting a reply or a thankyou to be honest. If you go on other general forums on the web, you will find them far more inhospitable environments where people are downright rude and deliberately abusive.
You often find theres a core group of people who lurk and cant wait to pounce on the latest post, especially if its some new, and be really rude and sarcastic with them. This has always been my experience anyway.
This forum thankfully doesnt seem to be like that and i hope it doesnt descend into that kimd of thing. To me it works very well and its really helped me keep positive the past 5 weeks since my heart attack.
Absolutely agree with your comments especially regarding other sites, where there seems to be very little regulations.I agree regarding this forum and the fact that the majority of people on this forum are kind, considerate and I for one always appreciate the kindness and support given.
Perhaps the author is considering the replies, thinking what to say. Has other things going on or simply gets caught up in their own situation.With due respect I think it is unkind to speculate and question the authors integrity.
Be kind!
All good wishes to each and every member of the community, coping with life's challenges and others expectations is not also easy! 💞
sort of agree and sort of don't .Most of the replies I give don't seem wanted, and I always get annoyed by the blandness of other peoples replies.But the thing that annoys me the most is criticism of doctors.I don't put them on any pedestal but they reflect the NICE guidelines and are limited in what they can tell us.Sometimes they are just wrong, but I don't think they do it on purpose.
This reply is a very good example of what I am saying.So do you agree with me or don't you? If you don't agree it is very difficult to give a polite acknowledgement.And if you are polite I might think you are being sarcastic or dismissive.
I'm hypo and heart (my health and interests on this forum).Generalising but the heart are usually serious issues, and the other part is usually levothyroxine dose.I know this is important to the person concerned, but they do build it up in their own mind to a conspiracy of doctors, no one else knowing the bio science, and a perfect world if only they could find this right dose. I usually think that something besides levo would help but people can become very fixated on one thing.(very often the wrong thing)
We are all different. We have different views on the world becuase we have had different lives and experiences. We cant all be expected to behave the same, like what everyone says. That is the way of things.
As the saying goes you cant please all the people all of the time.
The trouble with online diacussions is that they can easily be misinterpreted as well. We either read too much into too little or phrase our reply in a way that can be interpreted a number of ways. Without the nuances of face to face conversation, body language, vocal intonation, we are left to imagine what is being said and read between the lines more.
I came off Facebook and Twitter becuase it was making me stressed and i had several fallings out with friends. The trouble with online media its very easy to be critical of others becuase you dont have to look the person in the face and it can give one a false sense of superiority that everyone else is innthe wrong. Especially when theres several people who are like minded. Thats how you end up with a pack of cyber bullies on social media groups and forums, who prey on newbies and less knowledgeable people just looking for a bit of advice and support.
The worse forums i have found personally are technical ones when i have been looking how to repair my computer. They cant wait to belittle and criticise you.
I think in summary we should refrain from critical and negative comments as theres enough bad vibes in the world at large as it is.
I agree with your replies to bagsypartime and Harvist about going down rabbit holes. Having said that my warped sense of humour lets me lurk round the entrance and watch fascinated as people come to virtual blows over comments made on Facebook and other media sites. 😤 The best bits are when a third party, who hasn't followed the thread from the beginning , gets hold totally of the wrong end of the stick and adds their three pen'orth to the mix. 😊
I used to find it all entertaining but it cost me friendships and also my mental health. I find Facebook and Twitter toxic for peoples wellbeing these days as theyve become a forum for misinformation, hatred , doom mongering and baiting.
I got rid of both my accounts. Shame as there was a few good people and some groups i found useful for my research.
But i got obsessed to the point id be on it almost all day, even missing sleep.after nightshifts do i could continue a debate. It really screwed me up. Glad ro be away from it.
Does it matter? Replying for the sake of it just makes the theme elongated.
Yes I have noticed that people get replies and you don't know if they have seen them. I always think. If someone takes the time to reply you should at least reply. Even if its just a like 👍. Brian
It's the way of the internet in general , so receiving an acknowledgement could be a generational thing and getting a polite thank you will become less common.On most forums people get into the habit of asking questions but not responding unless they want to ask the person whom replied another question , want a debate , or they felt like they connected with the responder in someway.
I'm afraid the manners which were expected and common in older types of communication aren't considered necessary, polite or important anymore. The Way of the Internet World in general , sad to say.
I have noticed the same but I don't let it worry me. I reply or try to give advice when I can, and it's up to the individual as to whether they take it on board. I do agree with you but it's just the way some people are nowadays.
This is a wonderful site that provides lots of information and somewhere that you can pursue your individual concerns. Everyone uses it differently. I really hope it doesn't become "another social media site" where people just moan about the site.
I take great comfort from many of the discussions that reference my own worries and is somewhere I can ask or talk about the things we face that are unique to us.
Couldnt agree more. Its a fair comment thats been made in the initial post but we can go down a rabbit hole that can end up getting unpleasant and demoralising Ive seen it many many times on Facebook and other forums.
We all judge others by our own standards its human nature but sometimes its best just not to respond. Maybe thats why some poats dont get responses sometimes becuase they feel it could lead down a path that may lead somewhere they dont want to go.
This forum is constantly changing. When I joined some time ago it was far busier than it is now, then about 12 months ago we had the great 'social club' promoted by some members which resulted in some sort of break way group which for all I know may still exist, and at the same time there were folks moaning about admins deleting posts then it all died down. Moreover the membership changes as folks come and go. I really don't believe we have 47360 active members!
Are you sure you are not reading my mind!
I had been thinking about doing a post on it myself. Some people come here very anxious or with a very specialised enquiry, others then take the trouble to respond, often at length.
Then the original author often doesn't engage in the discussion at all or to make an acknowledgement at the end. It does sometimes put me off replying.
, I always thank and respond and have made some lovely friends here and I thank them all for helping me through a very difficult time
Britomartis29• in reply to
Same here—people have been very supportive and helpful and I appreciate it (and I thank them, too). I appreciate it when people respond if I have tried to help them with an answer. I hope the spirit of the community continues to be positive like this.
• in reply toBritomartis29
I hope so too ❤️
This is the most respectful, considerate, helpful and kind space. I'm guessing some posters are probably so anxious and afraid that they forget the niceties.
Yes and I know of at least one case where the nonrespondent turned out to have been in hospital!
just hitting the like (heart) button is good enough enough for me, no need for an actual written ‘thank you’ in this day an age to every single post reply.
If I save a post that becomes popular and the OP thanks everyone who has replied then I get a ton of emails blocking my inbox. So I’m very happy not to see it all.
Uh oh. Sorry, goosebumps! Guilty as charged.
I will add further to this debate by saying that it can be very frustrating when you contribute to a post, as I did yesterday at some length, only to find it has been deleted as I have just found out, and deleted not by the admins but presumably by the originator. No reason given nothing remarkable in the thread, just gone. If you have posted something, and there are no replies then it's OK to take it down, but as soon as people respond that's it it should stay, unless the admins think otherwise.
That’s a very good point. I am glad I posted this topic as it has prompted some good discussion and shows that most of the forum have broadly the same intent. Help others by sharing our experiences with HEART ❤️ issues.big thanks to everyone who has responded so far
A reply to me was deleted the other day. It didnt contain anything i would have considered dodgy which warranted deletion unless the person who posted it deleted it themselves by the time i looked at it again?
There is a certain pandemic word (please don’t post it!!!) that gets everything auto deleted. Crazy really but there you go.
No need to apologise! Especially if this is all a bit new to you. Even now i have trouble figuring out whereabouts a conversation has got to. Thats another reason i sometimes have adelayed response.
Many use the like function (❤️). I think that’s good enough.
It's always nice to get a reply, but it's not the be all and end all of things, life goes on!!Feel free to reply or not, whichever way your inclination takes you.... Lol
I feel the same. I don’t expect a personal reply but just a little click on the heart at some point would be nice providing of course you like the reply 😂😂 x
Maybe, just Maybe they are like me and been rushed in hospital and are recovering so their focusing on improving and not using their phones, iPads etc. because they can’t …. Or just maybe there are focusing on a family matter such as an unexpected death of a loved one.
JenWro. That’s not what my post is about? I am referring specifically to members who ask questions about a particular subject. Like what are the best exercises after open heart surgery. For example
Sorry misread or misunderstood your post Gilreid1 Maybe just maybe they might have information overload. Anyway have a lovely day just thought I would ensure that all potential aspects had been considered Happy New Year 🥳
You are absolutely right that there will be occasions where people get distracted after posting due to unforeseen circumstances, and no-one expects them to follow up. But most posters who don't respond will not fall into that category. So in general terms if you can put together a question to post, you can follow it up with some form of acknowledgement, which might of be use to others. One of the forum's long time members usually asks posters to 'let us know how you get on' and I'll bet the number who do is very low, which is a real shame because I know that member has health struggles of their own to contend with. Anyway all that aside I hope your recovery is going well and it's good to see you can contribute👍
• in reply toLowerfield_no_more
that longterm member you mention is one of the kindest people I've ever met, virtually speaking lol, and helped me enormously, always giving of themselves with sound advice, as do you in the help you give too, there are some very lovely people here
❤️
I've posted , then decided to delete as I as the poster felt I've over exposed my feelings, it might come across as arrogant, what ever the reason, but it's my reason.
I put time into, I had a moment of " this doesn't feel right " so I delete it.
If it gets responses from people, and they took there time then I apologise for that time taken.
But if it really annoys anyone immensely then maybe send a message or take a step back and think in the grand scheme of things does it matter.
Well if you have specific questions, enquire about different meds etc, concerning your health and posting this on forums then yes, they should follow the answers given up! They may not all be helpful but it gives food for thought! To share varied experiences or just posting a lovely photo to cheer people up in this dreary winter weather can make all the difference to feeling lonely and isolated!
I have things on my mind I would like to share with the appropriate forum but reluctant to do so! Some is too private and I don't!👍
Also bear in mind that not everyone is tech savvy or even aware. If you have never been on social media or something like this forum you may be totally unaware of the like etc options. People may not be aware of protocols or others expectations when they receive a reply. Or as others have mentioned they may have gone into surgery or further tests and don't have the ability to respond. It's nice to have a response or a like but don't be annoyed or irritated by a lack of one as there could be any number of reasons. To plagarise one of the posters names on here please just try to be kind
Don’t remember anyone mentioning a posters name That would be out of line with our forum.
Sorry I think you may have misunderstood my poor attempt at a joke I wasn't suggesting anyone else had mentioned someone else's name
No problem 😌
Well you definitely got a lot of replies to this subject.
There could be many reasons why some don't respond. Too many to even list!
It really isn’t the easiest forum to navigate and very different from others.
I’ve asked questions in the past and never been able to find replies. When you are stressed trying to plough through stuff can just be too much
i have great difficulty in replying, your messages come through on my I.Pad, but for some reason I have to go onto a laptop to respond, so I dont always get a chance to reply, technology is not always the members freind.
Its quite sad really reading the responses to a members thoughts. Are our messages to a question subject to a nice reply? Could it be the person asking a question has come to this site desperate for help and not friendship? Perhaps they are not aware how much people are expecting a reply or are in hospital, or visiting or goodness knows what.
I know of some folk who ask a question, never to be heard from again, I think before we become too judgmental, some people have never been introduced to the finer points of help pages. Having seen how many replies there have been to this post, is it just a little too much to expect 73 replies to each and every respondent.
Having posted a question myself and received a high volume of answers and not wanting to seem rude but too tired to reply individually to everyone, I have used the "heart" to acknowledge my grateful thanks.
In the past I have also seen some posts where replies have been so unusual that very quickly a question of how genuine a poster might be and even with rude and unusual replies received, posters are still offering a hand without even a thought to how genuine the poster might be. My point being there are some cases where common sense should prevail but in this case I fear only the callous would pull the plug on a single poster purely because of a lack of a thank you
👍don’t think anyone would pull the plug
This entire thread sounds like Dr. Phil to me... I seriously don't need a thank you, heart emoji or reply. Get those from your friends and family, not a forum of strangers. If there is a reply that is further engaging, and it makes sense to continue the conversation, then one would reply. And if the reply was of value, then maybe a "thank you" is nice if the person that received it found it helpful. On the other hand, what if they thought your response was whack, should they have to give it a "thumbs-up" or reply with "thanks". If you are posting on a forum on the internet I would say lower your expectations, and be grateful for what you get, if anything. If hanging out for "thank yous" and appreciation, I think HealthUnlocked is perhaps not the right forum.
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