Advice on how to stay calm

[Golfgirl3]

Hello all. I'm towards the end of the house buying process. It should be straightforward but the incompetence of the solicitor is making it complicated and stressful and this is before all the other related aggravation involved in a house move. My local pharmacist said I'm not able to take any of the herbal remedies on the market as I take medication after a heart attack 3 years ago. I know there is no point worrying about things which are out of my control but my heart attack happened a month after my last house move and this is constantly at the back of my mind. Does anyone have any relaxation suggestions/apps/podcasts 3rd that they would recommend?

[1234_6]

Hi Golfgirl 3 Sorry you are having a hard time in relation to the move and some unpleasant reminders of when you were last ill

Your GP will have contacts for self referal talking therapies but this takes time to obtain

I don't know of any pod casts etc but hopefully other members will.

I can suggest...

Grounding techniques ......name 3 things you can see, 3 things you can, hear, 3 things you can smell

Breathing techniques ....

- Breathing in for 1, out for1, then continue for 2, then 3, etc. up to Breathing in for 10 and out for 10

- If lying down put hands on tummy finger tips touching then take deep breaths down into your tummy raising it sufficiently to part your fingers - just concentrate on Breathing I & out parting & rejoining your finger tips

-Look up "Box Breathing" too, which I think is Breathing in holding your breath, then out & holding breath

Mediation

Yoga, Pilates or Thi-chi

Body scan Stretching exercises ... i.e to stretch each of the muscel groups & then relax them

Engaging in something mindful that you enjoy and or takes all of your concentration.

Smashing glass bottles into the bottle bank

Making bread ... so that you can take your frustration out on on the dough

With regard to the Solicitors Imcompetence

... is there another solicitor they can swop to working with / for you?

.... they should have an in-house complaints system, then if this is not successful there should be a legal ombudsman to refer your complaint to as i think they have to be registered / licenced to practice.

Best wishes

[Hidden]

Hiya Golfgirl. When I'm stressed, apart from going for a walk and practicing my breathing technique, I breath in for 3, hold for 4 and out for 5. I also use headspace unwind your mind. I'll send you the link if I can figure it out ha. I use it a lot at bedtime with my Earphones on

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

netflix.com/gb/title/813288...

Yay I did it. Check this out.

[Lezzers]

We were told buying a house is one of the most stressful things to go through. You've had some very good advice already, the only think I can really add is deep breaths & try to remember that this won't last, eventually it will be over & you'll hopefully be in the house of your dreams. I do get how stressful it is though, we made the mistake of swopping phone numbers with the seller of our new house, oh my that really was hard work. Eventually we had to ask the estate agent to tell her to stop contacting us!

[Captain_Birdseye]

Some good advice here already... I prefer breathing techniques and meditation like 1234 has suggested and also use the loona app.

[JeremiahObadiah]

Just speaking up for the legal profession here-local authority searches now take so long (and are a lot more expensive)The local authorities don’t have the staff and what should be a fairly swift turn around takes an age and your solicitor can not speed it up.

Maybe you could ask specifically what is the hold up so that you can understand what /why it’s slow. If you know what’s going on it’s less tense than feeling helpless and in the dark.

Do you have a proactive and good estate agent? A good one who understands the system can keep the chain moving and calm by communicating up and down efficiently. Don’t be averse to asking the agent if there are issues elsewhere in the chain/ to chivy people for you. It’s far less stressful than yoo worrying about it.

Best wishes

[Finaus]

Suggest you try to be accepting of the fact that house conveyancing is rarely 'straightforward' especially if here is a chain involved, but encouraged by the fact that usually transactions proceed to exchange and completion!

[HHH2017]

Hi Golfgirl, I hear you and feel your pain! Hubby and I renovate property and have done 8 moves in last 12 years. Solicitors, and we've tried quite a few, drive us mad.

Our top tip is now to ask for a weekly summary of activity. This ensure your file is looked at at least once a week! And also kerps bringing it to the 'top of the in tray'.

Also never leave contact to a Friday afternoon. If your estate agent has an admin person who is overseeing the transaction use them as much as possible they will have & be happy to contact solicitors too.

If you are having difficulty sleeping I use guided sleep meditations on you tube & usually find them quite helpful. Try a few different ones until you find a voice, pace etc that suits you. Wishing you the very best of luck with everything.

[Smitty1956]

Hi, Golfgirl3,

I can’t add a whole lot to the great suggestions given by others. I thought that 1234_6 gave several useful ideas, and my GP really suggests/supports many of those including Box Breathing.

I would add that if you have an Apple Watch, you might try the mindfulness app on your watch. It is free, can be used anytime, and includes breathing activities and reflection/focusing activities. You can choose to do as little as 1 minute or select how long you want to do the activity.

Best wishes and congratulations on your move!

[JMKJ]

I feel you. I am a 63-year-old woman who physically looks like I'm in shape but apparently my heart isn't. I bought a house last Nov. and preparing for the move itself was soooo stressful and it turns out the house we bought has needed lots of unexpected repairs. I had a heart attack three weeks ago and I am sure much of it was due to the stress I've been experiencing over the move. On top of that, relationship problems stemming from it.

This well-known professor coined the term Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and wrote I think more than one book on it. If you check into it let me know if it resonates with you. Maybe we can share notes so to speak.

jonkabat-zinn.com/about/jon...

There are many YouTubs about MBSR too. Also, acouple years ago, I took an 8-week course on MBSR at at Kaiser. Some facilities actually allow non-Kaiser members to take it too for a reasonable fee. I loved it. Yoga is helpful for relaxation too, which was a small part of the course.

One last thing and probably most important is my doctor told me to get one hour of exercise five days week. So I'm on the verge of joining a gym where I can use the treadmill, then slowly graduate to the stationary bicycle, then stairmaster, then elliptical machine as my heart gets into better and better shape.

Best of luck. You are not alone. ❤️

[Kwakkers]

I`ll give you an example. After my cardiac arrest in 2012 (I`d had five heart attacks) I was given an implanted defibrillator . We have had three properties since and if ANYONE starts pissing about, I use that.

We got caught in that conveyancing scandal in `22. We screamed (my wife did; God did she do a good job, haha). The solicitor called back that day and by Friday we completed.

Just a thought mind!!!!!

Frank.