double bypass

[Masteroftime]

I just need to talk to someone on how to cope with my husband just had a double by pass and I get so emotional and anxious

[Hidden]

Dear Masteroftime,

A warm welcome to you from the forum, I hope that it provides all the answers and support as it has to me and many others.

How to cope? these are the things that we are not taught and the shock side of a loved one falling ill can soon make us ill as well if we are not careful.

I am so sorry to say that there is no magic intervention to this situation and slowly you will be able to " cope " in the best way that you can.

First, and I think the most important part, is know that you are not alone, many many suffer the same and as your loved one is encased into the NHS care , you can feel even more alone.

As much as I told most steps to both my operations and recovery to my loved ones, it got to the stage were I found that no amount of assurance from me helped them, so I gave them contacts { given to me by my Dr / heart team} of organisations that could help them understand that what I was going through was not always a death sentence.

You will have so many more questions that will need answers and I hope that you will use us to help get them.

Take care, I send you a virtual hug, you will get through this

[Masteroftime in reply to Hidden]

thank you so much for your kind words. He still in hospital doing really well. He had to have two blood transfusions. But he is in good spirt. I am trying to stay strong but I get so anxious thinking about all the IFs.

[marypw]

Yes,I understand exactly how you feel - it is a horrible shock to see someone you previously thought was pretty robust, need life saving surgery.

My husband had a triple bypass 5 years ago and then a ruptured AAA, 2 years ago. He is now fine and happily trotting round a golf course and pretty much his usual energetic self.

You will get through it, as will he. Make sure he does cardiac rehab, builds up his walking capacity slowly, takes his meds religiously, eats sensibly and take time out to talk to each other.

You may need someone else to talk to, so counselling could help you. Try the GP, or go privately or talk to good friends/family, or of course on here

I hope that helps a bit.



[Masteroftime in reply to marypw]

Thank you for your encouragement

[ChoochSiesta]

I had a triple in February. I am now fixed and am just getting on with life now.

[Masteroftime in reply to ChoochSiesta]

Glad to hear, how was it when you got home?

[ChoochSiesta in reply to Masteroftime]

At first everything hurts and you have no energy. I live alone but didn't need any help at home. It just takes time to recover, slowly but surely, but you get there eventually.

[Hidden]

Hello

It can be forgotten that love one's go through it to when someone they love has heart issues

I had a triple Bypass and my Husband was worried of course but then he was relieved after it was done knowing things had now improved having had the operation

You are going to feel worried but remember your Husband has been operated on he is in a far better place now than he was he is on the right medications and so on he maybe more healthier than he has been in a few years

Hope his recovery is going well and try and have faith in what those wonderful surgeons have done and you will gain confidence that you have many years to enjoy together x

[Masteroftime in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your word of wisdom, I can imagine what your husband was going through a couple ago my husband got so emotional and tearful I suppose reality shone its head. I try to remain calm for him. He’s recovering really well. He had to a blood transfusion as he heart rate was high. Thx you

[Hidden in reply to Masteroftime]

Hello

It is a very emotional time a big life changing event that for both the patient and loved one's can take some adjusting to and it has been over a year and I am still adjusting

Maybe my Husband stays strong for me and does not show it but as much as you feel you need to stay strong make sure you either talk to friends and family or on here how you are feeling as you have to stay well to x

[Masteroftime in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for encouragement.

[Hidden in reply to Masteroftime]

x

[RufusScamp]

It's a fact that those around the patient can find it harder to cope. My advice would be try an work through it together. I was offered cardio rehab classes, and partners were encouraged to come along too, to the exercises and the talks.

Join him in getting recommended exercise, and a good diet, but don't be over-protective. He will be able to do more as time goes on, and it is quite possible that in a few months he will be fairly fit.

Just having a caring wife will be a great help to him.

[Masteroftime in reply to RufusScamp]

Thank you for your advice I will certainly take that on board.

[Bicesterwhite]

Hi, I hat aged at 58 had a quadruple bypass in June following a minor heart attack. It was a shock for my wife and I and my wider family, however, I was comfortable in knowing I was in good handsin the cardiac unit in hospital, but was very aware of the pressure and distress that my wife and son went through.

I religiously did as I was told in terms of my recovery and rehabilitation and built up my walking strength over the weeks. It was difficult initially, but now I am feeling fitter than I have been for many years, and my wife I so relieved that the previously unknown time bomb has in effect been disarmed

It does get easier for all concerned and just 4 months later I am pretty much living life to the full. I hope this offers some positivity for you and although incredibly emotional time keep talking and supporting (which I am sure you will do), go for his walks together, build up slowly and you will see small but noticeable improvements every day.

One downside for me is that now I am walking approx 5km each day unfortunately my wife can't keep up with me .

stay strong and it will get

[Masteroftime in reply to Bicesterwhite]

Wow I am so glad all is well with you and you are right he is in a good place which I keep telling because he wants to come home. He’s heart was high so they decided to give him a blood transfusion. He is doing really well with his recovery they say. My anxiety is when he gets home and how to cope but I am sure will. Thx you for your advice.

[Bicesterwhite in reply to Masteroftime]

as GWP1952 says, it is about a positive mental attitude or PMA as my wife and I have abbreviated it to. As I may have mentioned I have for 4 weeks now returned full time to work and have continued to drive including to Yorkshire (from Oxford) and also a holiday to France also driving with no issues.

it does take time and I accept everyone is different but it has surprised me just how much I can now do albeit after 14 weeks, which seems a long time but it does pass quickly

Best wishes to you

[MountainGoat52]

Hi Masteroftime,

I do sympathise with your situation. My wife found it difficult to let me go off walking on my own when I was recovering from my triple bypass 4 years ago. As it turned out, I was as much part of her recovery from this anxiety as she was of my recovery by letting me go. It was a bit by bit process. By keeping a positive mental attitude and structuring my activities, I was able to prove to her and to myself that I was capable.

The first time I went for a walk on my own was undoubtedly hard for her, but by keeping to a prescribed route and having my mobile phone to hand, her anxiety was reduced. Gradually I increased the distance and at some point she stopped asking for my route. Now I drive for 4 hours, climb a couple of Munros and drive back, all in a day. When I started on the path to recovery I never imagined I would achieve what I have.

I do hope that your husband is able to remain positive and stage his recovery as it will be of benefit to you both. As I said, it is a bit by bit process and you will need to discuss with him how you feel and agree the way he is going to get back to normality, which of course may be nothing like the route I took.

My best wishes to you both for the future.

Gerald

[Masteroftime in reply to MountainGoat52]

Thank you. Wow what an experience you had and what you have accomplished. I am going to take everyone advice and build on it Thx you do much.

[Swalecliffe88]

Hello Masteroftime. Welcome to our family of surviours ! and thrivers. Because everyone will have been to the place you are in at the moment. And the reason we can support through this dark time is because we are all very much alive and well. My triple by pass was 7 years ago. My daughter had to deal with and watch me go through the experience you are and I the same as your loved one. We all cope differently and the rehab people are happy to support you as well as your loved one. They have not just physical help they have psychological help too. Your loved one will repair and thrive daily. it might be slowly but it will happen and believe me they will marvel at how much better they feel now, than before their operation. Take heart !! Excuse the pun. Your loved one will be a new and revitalised person very soon. With just a few battle scars but that’s just gives you street cred Lol.

[Masteroftime in reply to Swalecliffe88]

thank you for your kind words, I will draw on all the replies on their positive attitudes.

[Masteroftime]

My Husband was discharge on Saturday. We are getting through it. Every moves he makes in the night I am up waking up to make sure he is Ok. I know he is feeling down and I am there all time, not sure what else I can do to ease his mind. He is not in any pain just a bit weak, he does move around but feeling tired .

[Swalecliffe88]

Hello Mastermind. He will get tired for a few weeks to come. I used to be fine till about lunchtime and then go and lay on the bed and have a couple of hours. For a good month after my op. His body has been chopped about and his system has had some mega general anesthetiser this alone depresses the system for a good couple of weeks. Personally if you’ve not been contacted by your Rehab nurse yet, I would try and get her to call and see you both. Mine were brilliant and part of the recovery course was a talk with a psychologist. You both might benefit from this first. They understand how low the trauma of major surgery can make you feel. Chin up he will be in training for London marathon before you know it. It will honestly make him feel a lot better once the body and mind has healed.

[Masteroftime in reply to Swalecliffe88]

Than you for your encouragement. He is doing much better now. Still tired but it all the meds he is taking too. Thx you