Bullying at work

[Mac_meister]

Been getting bullied at work last couple of weeks,believe it or not I'm a 50 yr ol man.Trouble is they think I'm a easy target being 5.2 trouble is it's got to the stage I'm depressed my alopecia has come back,I feel like saying fuk it or giving them a slap as it's at the point its getting personal x

[buddy2blue]

That’s awful can you say something to your boss

[Lezzers]

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this, bullying it completely unacceptable in any instance.

Is your manager aware of this? If not, make him/her aware and ask that this issue be addressed as it affecting your health. If your manager does not do anything, speak to your HR department, your company has a duty to ensure you are in a safe working environment. If you have a union you could also speak to them about it, they may ask for times & incidents etc.

[woodlandwonders]

My Sister was bullied by her manager. We printed off a checklist of bullying at work and there was only 1 he hadn't employed.

She took this, with instances where he had employed the tactic, to the manager above him. Its harder for them to ignore whe it's in black and white

[Hidden]

Bullying cost me a job - a job i loved.

But 10 years after the event, I realise now that i was not in a good place, and the normal me would not have suffered at the hands of the bully.

I don't know you, i know only what you have said here, that Alopecia has returned and it is getting you down.

I've been grey since my early 20's - it is apparently a genetic trait - but i've only let it get to me once, and that was when i was interested in froming a new relationahsip, otherwise it is who i am.

I was in my late 40's when i got bullied - it can happen at any age, to any one - and amazingly to the toughest of people - security forces and military personel, not just kids at school for dinner money!

I recently completed almost a year with Psychologists trying to help me with the resulting depression, and it was interesting reflecting at how various incidents in my life allowed my defences to such people become eroded. Mine was suffering from Lymphoma - I suspect yours is Alopecia. I have experienced 2 instances of bullies since I finshed that job. Neither have got to me the way the first one did. In fact, one admitted to me they have issues and thanked me for facing up to them directly and not making it 'official'

The thing with bullies is - they are whimps, pussy's and do not fare well when the victim bites back. Have a word with bully (main bully if there is more than one) person to person and give them a chance. Explain the ffect their 'humour' is having on you.

If no joy, go and see the boss and HR. Give them a heads up so they make fix the issue. Also go and see your GP and get a diagnosis of Depression caused by this affair. It might get a little uncomfortable for a month or two or it might get better alost straight away. In the end, the bully will either be reined in, or you'll know you are working for the wrong boss.

No job is worth the suffering, and that change of workplace can be just as pleasant as the job you loved for so long. I'm now going back to Uni to study for a new career line, with an option to work as a Freelance. My life is now mine to control, not a bully's. NEver a bully's ever again.

I wish you well in your endeavours to bring this nasty, traumatising event to conclusion.

[NorthantsSteve]

Hi Mac_meister. This is a rubbish situation. As Lezzers says - keep a diary of incidents with as much detail as you can and names of people who witnessed it. It’s hard to remember it later on. And if you can - its best to try and resolve this informally as others have suggested. But I know this can be really difficult.

One thing that hasn’t been mentioned is you heart condition. If you’re being bullied because of this you might possibly have other avenues if you can’t resolve this informally.

[Mac_meister in reply to NorthantsSteve]

I had 2 heart attacks back in November 2019 and had a stent fitted and can really do without these arseholes adding to the stress they piss off and leave me to empty the van bearing in mind the stuff is heavy,and I'm ment to be on light duties to be honest it's gone to far my bosses would be great about it.If I went to them but knowing how uncomfortable and shit it would be there make matters worse if something was said to them it would cause me more shit

[NorthantsSteve in reply to Mac_meister]

Yes. Difficult to know how best to handle it. But try not to let it stress you. Easy to say! If you can talk to your bosses - can you get transferred to another team (say on the basis that they need someone who can do heavy lifting) or do a swap? So you don’t directly challenge the bullying but you get out of the situation? Just a thought. I do know how difficult these things are in practice.

[Mac_meister in reply to NorthantsSteve]

Theres only 1 team and that's 5 of us so no can do on that unfortunately lol my bosses would be mad at wots going on,but I know once were on site it will kick off

[NorthantsSteve in reply to Mac_meister]

Tricky. So how about playing the dodgy heart card? I’m sure your doctor will write you a note saying you should still be on light duties if you explain the consequences that this is having. So - it’s not a case of making a complaint to management about the bullying but simply you’re not progressing as your doc would like and unfortunately need to stick to light duties. You’d need to take it to your managers who would then need to check to make sure that the team you’re working in adhere to the requirement. Just an idea.

[Gladwyn in reply to Mac_meister]

I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time . Your work colleagues are clearly just low life scum but chances are one is the real nasty bully and the rest follow thankful they aren't in your shoes but too cowardly to stand up against him. Don't make yourself ill please . They aren't worth it. Follow the good advice others have given you. All the best xx

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

Good advice above. When you write your diary, be sure to note their behaviour and the impact each behaviour has on you. Ultimately, bullying is defined by the impact it has. IE by the bullied person.....if you feel bullied, then you are bullied.

Also remember as far back as you can, to when it started, and summarise that.

If you have a Union go there. They will advise you how to handle it.

[Maisie2014]

I think most firms try to bullying tactic. The thing to do is stand up to them. The last time this happened to me I was off sick and they demanded I go in for interview. They wouldn’t let my husband attend but I was allowed to take a colleague who was a counsellor. I asked her to sit in the room with a notepad and pen and say nothing. She was my witness. Needless to say they never bothered me again.

[Whatamug1]

Agree, tell your GP and get yourself a letter. Just walk away from the 'carrying' and you'll soon get asked why. When your immediate boss asks you, tell him/her everything. Bullies are cowards -(and 4:1 ratio !). It will be affecting you mentally. Being bullied is soooooo stressful and NOT good for your heart. You don't need this. Take Care of yourself and act now.