ok guys, need some help here please, if you can - warning tho - this is a long and probably incomprehensible post!!
Right situation in brief is this - I work in HR for a big company!! Have had hardly any time off sick in 3.5 years at current job as always work from home as they've set me up to be able to do that if I'm struggling, so therefore even if have field trip then can still pick up emails on blackberry / laptop etc.
Had 1 month off sick in December as was all getting too much for me - asthma playing up big style and also migraines on top of physical and mental exhaustion and chronic pain from trapped nerve in neck and tendinitis in wrist (damn pred!!). No time off since December except the last 2 weeks as just work from home instead. Got new boss 6 weeks ago. Introductory meetings with boss were really hard for me as I'm quite a closed and private persona and had to open up about how I was the ill one of the team, and how I hated that asthma meant I couldn't outperform in my role, but that to be fair actually performing to the standards required was outstanding bearing in mind all the obstacles and hoops I had to jump through etc etc.
getting more and more physically and mentally exhausted as the year goes on due to pred and also everything - am just fighting to cope and struggle on rather than actually live, and performing at work is focus of everything, to detriment of my personal life.
New boss of 6 weeks, says that GP's suggestion of 2 weeks off to try and let my body rest and recuperate so has energy to fight concerns her as it won't do any good - month sick in December didn't, and that we would get to stage when had to look at my capability to do my role (bearing in mind have had NO concerns raised at all in 3.5 years). Took it anyway as was at stage that couldn't get into work. Spoke to her today as still not right, could go back to work on Monday, but recognise now that am no where near right, and would just fall into old trap of fighting to perform to an adequate standard which would take 150% effort to detriment of everything including my health, and honestly don't think I could last more than a couple of weeks, body just wouldn't take it. She says I need to speak to GP on Monday and say I know I'll never feel 100% but I need to work so what should I do - which made me feel pressure in going back to work and that I should never have had the time off as she wasn't supportive of it, and that I have to get back to work as I'll never feel better so whats the point in resting.
I'm already getting nightmares that she's trying to sack me for poor performance, and also my asthma is playing up more than usual at night, partly due to stress I'm sure.
Anyway, enough of my waffling, my questions are as follows:
1) what reasonable adjustments could I put in place to support me to remain in work (bearing in mind I can't afford to go part time and I already am allowed to work 1 day a week from home to stop me getting over tired, but can't always do that due to meetings)
2) any suggestions as to what to say to boss when next speak to her as am petrified!!
3) any other suggestion as to how I could get more control of my symptoms
4) I know I'm in HR but we have different rules to everyone else, so need to get to stage where can cope - how??!!!
Any tips will be welcomed!
thanks for listening to my self pitying drivel!!