Patronising unhelpful Asthma nurse

Hi, I am a father bringing up four children as full time primary carer and have been doing this now for over ten years. My 10 year old son has had asthma since he was small and we have always managed his symptoms very well only ever needing one acute vist to our GP in the last seven years. About three years ago we moved house and had to register with a new GP and asthma nurse. Whereas our previous nurse was brilliant, supportive and respected by myself and my son, the new nurse is patronising, unhelpful, inconsistent in her advice and seems to go out of her way to denigrate me as a father/primary carer, despite my best efforts to appease her a develop a constructive relationship. The result of this is that I have put off appointments as long as possible leaving them to the minimum. Sadly she is also my sons school nurse.

After leaving our appointment as long as possible it has now reached almost a year and I must return to get my prescription renewed. I am also worried (as I was previously a manger with social services) that my reluctance to keep appointments could be used against me and taken as evidence of neglect by a wilful individual so inclined and the nurse would seem to fit this profile.

My question is, what can I do ? Must I keep seeing this unhelpful nurse or can a request an appointment with my GP instead ? How should I go about this ?

I wonder if there is anybosy reading who has had a similar experience ?

7 Replies

  • Hi, want about changing GP surgeries? Or i dont think they will mind if you go to the doctor. Also tell him your concerns but maybe not when your son is in the room.


  • thanks, but this is not possible as we now live in a small village where there is only one GP.

  • Whichever parent is looking after the children should have no bearing on the treatment received. That you have been a full time primary carer for 10 years is to be cheered.

    Could you perhaps ask your previous asthma nurse for a chat or something. Or as suggested, speak to the GP on your own.

    No-one should have to worry about going to their health centre, though a previous GP of mine was most off-putting - tried to suggest my younger daughter did not have a milk allergy, rather that I didn't wind her properly. (baby lost weight every week and was constantly sick when fed cows milk). Fortunately for me (and baby), my health visitor gave much needed support. Mostly in contacting other health visitors far and wide for tins of Wysoy baby milk, which had just then (1980s) come onto the market.

    Wishing a speedy and happy solution,

    GM xx

  • We had an unhelpful nurse years ago. My 15 year old son had been managing his own asthma for years yet when he went along to to his review on his own only to come home having had the asthma nurse refuse to do his review how the hell are we supposed to teach our children to self manage to understand, recognise and be able to communicate if they need Mum to hold their hands all the time. I spoke to our GP who thought it was totally OTT tagged him as not needing review in future, to save us getting called again that year.

  • patronising unhelpful asthma nurse

    my 8 yr old son was intubated during his first asthma attack and spent 4 days in PICU the day after he was discharged from the hospital the GP suggested we see the asthma nurse. we knew very little about his medication back then and she told us the respiratory consultant had prescribed the wrong inhalers (turbo) and took them away, she then wrote us a prescription for two more inhalers I collected them from the chemist and took them home. having not slept for 10 days and trusting the nurse i did not check them. when I got home and went to give my son his ventolin she had given us two brown inhalers and no blue As the surgery was shut the duty doctor told us to go to A&E and this resulted in him having to be readmitted for another 3 days. When i complained a week later she told me she was sorry she had forgotten to give me the ventolin but she had left a message for me the next day saying there was some in the flower pot outside her front door in case i had needed it, so this made it ok. She said she had done the right thing to change the consultant's prescription and that she could take no responsibility for him being readmitted as she felt the hospital had discharged him to early in the first instance. I was lucky i could change GP's as nothing would get me back to see that patronising unhelpful and may i add dangerous asthma nurse again It is such a shame because there are so many fantastic asthma nurses out there as i have since discovered. My advice would be talk to the GP if she is like this with you she could well be like this with other patients

  • Thanks guys,I bit the bullet and got a new nurse. She's been great. Thanks for replies.

  • That's so good, Angus. Good news. You'll be a happier bunny now.

    Thanks for letting us know.

    GM 8~)

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