Sputum.: My name is Mr Sputum I'm a... - Lung Conditions C...

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Sputum.

25 Replies

My name is Mr Sputum

I'm a clingy sort of chap

No one tends to like me

And I don't care a scrap

I look for poorly people

And catch them unawares

I get down there inside their lungs

Whether poor or millionaires

When it comes to shifting me

I really have to laugh

At all the different ways they try

When most of them are naff

Cos when it comes to stickiness

I'm in a league all on my own

Huff and puff all you want

I simply won't be blown

But there is a Forum

For people that I hate

Who give advice on moving me

And my stays terminate

They call the place HealthUnlocked

And that is what they do

When people act on their advice

I end up down the loo.

25 Replies
HungryHufflepuff profile image
HungryHufflepuff

Oh dear Mr Sputum, you really are a gem

With your many stage names like Mucus or Phlegm

But you were uninvited, you make me gasp and cough,

So I think I'll spit you out and you can buzz right off.

in reply to HungryHufflepuff

Hey! Off to a fine start. 😃

sassy59 profile image
sassy59

Sputum, mucous, whatever’s said

It’s something Pete has come to dread

Coughing choking come what may

Trying so hard to clear his airway

Cough some more, more and more

Oh no! It’s ended up on the floor!

Thanks again Don.....brilliant! Xxx 👍👍😂👍

in reply to sassy59

That's the best place for it to be

At least it's somewhere you can see.

It's worse when you become alert

To it running down the front of your shirt.😫

sassy59 profile image
sassy59 in reply to

Yes, Pete’s had that too! 🤣🥰😘

WheezyAnne profile image
WheezyAnne

Oh, that is wonderful. I was crying earlier, feeling upset with myself, then a poem by the master Don caught my eye, and changed my tears to a happy bright smile. Brill!

in reply to WheezyAnne

Oh Anne, you must never get upset with yourself, Luv. There are enough people around ready to upset us without us doing it to ourselves. Be your own best friend. 😉😘x

Izb1 profile image
Izb1

Oh! Mr D, this made me laugh and followed up with HH/Sassy's contributions just tickled me, thanks to you all 🤣🤣🤣

SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt

Good morning to you Mr.

D and reading todays comical rhyme also cheered me up too. Just the best tonic available and you dont charge,lol 😂!!

Call it whatever name you like but this horrid sticky green muck is the work of aliens🤮👽.

Hope you and Midge have a good day 🐿💞

cofdrop-UK profile image
cofdrop-UK

😀😀😀😀😀. You’re a ⭐️ and I don’t tell you often enough.

Cx

in reply to cofdrop-UK

Just don't stop. I soak it up like a sponge. 😁😘

Jaybird19 profile image
Jaybird19

Brillant. Can you get these all published through BLF perhaps and the answers of course!

in reply to Jaybird19

I just write 'em and post 'em. 😉

RoadRunner44 profile image
RoadRunner44

Oh yes, Another one , a perfect example which each of us can relate to DOn.

soul-123 profile image
soul-123

Best yet Don well done! horrible stuff though. X

skischool profile image
skischool

Well i am late to a party celebrating snot

Thankfully this morning i haven't got a lot

Huffing and puffing doesn't do that much for me

The trick to loosen all that muck is good old breakfast tea

Curiously as a smoker i never seemed to care

But i imagine that my lungs back then were really in despair. :) x

JANET127 profile image
JANET127

lol...look at the people you inspire to write poetry! FUN!!! JANET127

Amanda3011 profile image
Amanda3011

Brilliant Don !! 😂

Shirleyj profile image
Shirleyj

Perfect description 🤮x

pegbl profile image
pegbl

Brilliant Don as always you have the knack of hitting the nail on the head as they say......because you, like most of us have been there done that and have the t shirt 😂 Xxx

Claudine profile image
Claudine

Unfortunately I blocked up the loo and plumbing by putting it down the loo!

Any other suggestions?

in reply to Claudine

Errrr...............no. 🤓

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana

HAHAHA 😂😂😂😂

in reply to Caspiana

Mad isn’t it.🙄😘

Caspiana profile image
Caspiana in reply to

It's hilarious in a good way!! 😊

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