My name is Mr Sputum
I'm a clingy sort of chap
No one tends to like me
And I don't care a scrap
I look for poorly people
And catch them unawares
I get down there inside their lungs
Whether poor or millionaires
When it comes to shifting me
I really have to laugh
At all the different ways they try
When most of them are naff
Cos when it comes to stickiness
I'm in a league all on my own
Huff and puff all you want
I simply won't be blown
But there is a Forum
For people that I hate
Who give advice on moving me
And my stays terminate
They call the place HealthUnlocked
And that is what they do
When people act on their advice
I end up down the loo.
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Oh dear Mr Sputum, you really are a gem
With your many stage names like Mucus or Phlegm
But you were uninvited, you make me gasp and cough,
So I think I'll spit you out and you can buzz right off.
Reply (16)Report
Hey! Off to a fine start. 😃
Reply (1)Report
Sputum, mucous, whatever’s said
It’s something Pete has come to dread
Coughing choking come what may
Trying so hard to clear his airway
Cough some more, more and more
Oh no! It’s ended up on the floor!
Thanks again Don.....brilliant! Xxx 👍👍😂👍
Reply (11)Report
Hidden in reply to sassy59 5 years ago That's the best place for it to be
At least it's somewhere you can see.
It's worse when you become alert
To it running down the front of your shirt.😫
Reply (5)Report
sassy59 in reply to Hidden 5 years ago Yes, Pete’s had that too! 🤣🥰😘
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Oh, that is wonderful. I was crying earlier, feeling upset with myself, then a poem by the master Don caught my eye, and changed my tears to a happy bright smile. Brill!
Reply (6)Report
Oh Anne, you must never get upset with yourself, Luv. There are enough people around ready to upset us without us doing it to ourselves. Be your own best friend. 😉😘x
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Oh! Mr D, this made me laugh and followed up with HH/Sassy's contributions just tickled me, thanks to you all 🤣🤣🤣
Reply (3)Report
Good morning to you Mr.
D and reading todays comical rhyme also cheered me up too. Just the best tonic available and you dont charge,lol 😂!!
Call it whatever name you like but this horrid sticky green muck is the work of aliens🤮👽.
Hope you and Midge have a good day 🐿💞
Reply (2)Report
😀😀😀😀😀. You’re a ⭐️ and I don’t tell you often enough.
Cx
Reply (1)Report
Just don't stop. I soak it up like a sponge. 😁😘
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Brillant. Can you get these all published through BLF perhaps and the answers of course!
Reply (1)Report
I just write 'em and post 'em. 😉
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Oh yes, Another one , a perfect example which each of us can relate to DOn.
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Best yet Don well done! horrible stuff though. X
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Well i am late to a party celebrating snot
Thankfully this morning i haven't got a lot
Huffing and puffing doesn't do that much for me
The trick to loosen all that muck is good old breakfast tea
Curiously as a smoker i never seemed to care
But i imagine that my lungs back then were really in despair. x
Reply (3)Report
lol...look at the people you inspire to write poetry! FUN!!! JANET127
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Brilliant Don !! 😂
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Perfect description 🤮x
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Brilliant Don as always you have the knack of hitting the nail on the head as they say......because you, like most of us have been there done that and have the t shirt 😂 Xxx
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Unfortunately I blocked up the loo and plumbing by putting it down the loo!
Any other suggestions?
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Errrr...............no. 🤓
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HAHAHA 😂😂😂😂
Reply (1)Report
Mad isn’t it.🙄😘
Reply (1)Report
It's hilarious in a good way!! 😊
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