Bob was sat on a high stool at the bar celebrating his windfall at the bookies.
After several hours he decides to go home. He dismounts the stool and falls flat on his face.
He crawls across the floor to a pillar and pulls himself up thinking I’ll take a deep breath and walk to the door nobody will notice.
A deep breath, a release of the pillar, and he’s flat on the floor and has no option to crawl to the door and up the door frame.
He looks across the street to his house. A deep breath and a release of the door frame sees him flat on his face on the pavement, so whilst down there he proceeds to crawl across the road and to his front door.
He pulls himself up the door frame fumbles for the keys and as soon as the door opens he falls flat on his face again, so he decides to just crawl upstairs and crawl into bed.
The next morning he woke with a bouncing head, and his wife stood beside him with a glass of water and some headache pills.
WELL YOU WERE IN A RIGHT OLD STATE LAST NIGHT WEREN'T YOU!! –she says
Sorry dear did I disturb you? NO- she replied
Did I leave the front door open? NO-she replied
Was I sick? NO- she replied
Did I soil the bed? NO - she replied
Did I try and get fruity then? NO - she replied
Well If I didn't disturb you how come you know I was drunk??
YOU LEFT YOUR WHEEL CHAIR AT THE PUB!!!!!