Morning all. At 3:00 this morning I woke up feeling wheezy, took two puffs of my inhaler and felt something hit the back of my throat. After several minutes of spluttering I discovered the source of the problem was an earwig that had crawled inside the case and decided to have a rest just inside the mouthpiece. This was quite unpleasant but came as no surprise, as the same thing happened just a couple of weeks ago.
We seem to be overrun with them at the moment and they're especially keen on hanging around in my inhalers (which I'll be keeping in a tin from now on). Has anyone else experienced this? I've had asthma since childhood and until recently it had never happened to me.
Just 20 minutes ago I inhaled one. We're in the middle of a heat wave with very high humidity, so the need for my inhaler right now is great. I was in the middle of what felt like an honest to goodness asthma attack. So I definitely needed the two puffs. The problem is I didn't have enough air to expel to get the thing out. So I had to try and calm down, took me almost a whole minute before I could actually cough. When I finally had gotten it out, I saw it for what it was -- pure evil. So as my asthma attack was passing it turned into a full blown panic attack. By this time the thing is out, crawling away on the floor. I'm traumatized. But the worst was yet to come....
Naturally I have to throw up. The problem is, I have just recently gotten dentures - and so very not used to them enough to deal with throwing up yet. So I just throw up right there on my kitchen floor. My teeth fly out of my mouth onto the GRANITE floor. Whilst my 5 year old comes around the corner - completely unaware to what just transpired. She sees the aftermath. The horrid, awful, aftermath. So, of course, she starts panicking - hard. Not only is she looking at her mom violently vomiting, she notices my dentures ON THE FLOOR. This is important because I haven't actually explained and shown her prior to this moment that mommy's teeth do indeed come out. In complete shock she looks at the teeth, looks at me, eyes so very open and just wails at the top of her lungs. So yes, it's safe to say I ruined this kid.
An hour later (yes, I took me that long to write this, proofread, and edit all while basking in the glory of my utter embarrassment) it STILL feels like there's something in the back of my throat. I will not sleep tonight, or maybe ever again.
After having three kids (in 5 years) and the last one was a 26 hour labor - NATURAL birth; I think it's safe to say this experience was worse than that. And I will kill every.last.earwig. I ever see for the rest of my life.
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