Asperger’s and Heartbreak

I hope everyone here is well.it’s too long of a story to tell all of the details, but after it happened over a year ago, someone who I thought was my closest friend betrayed my trust.

We were friends for 3 years before we started dating. She was the closest thing to a relationship that I ever had and rather telling me in person that it wasn’t working out and that she didn’t want to see me ever again after 3 months of dating, she texted me this after I travelled across the country to help her relocate and be there for her during a difficult time in her life. I’ve never felt so devastated and confused, and to this day I cannot let go of the pain and upset it’s caused me. I know everyone here has their own experiences and stories, but it would mean the world if someone relates to this. I struggle every day and it’s lonely that I’ve not been able to to meet or find anyone who can relate. I now trust no one and I don’t hope to get close to anyone ever again. 

I’m sorry for the long post.

[PearCider]

I've had people break things off a number of times, let's gloss over how many, including once when they just announced they were relocating and I had to restrain myself from saying "what about us". Rest assured if she was serious she wouldn't have done it, therefore she wasn't, sorry. Rest assured also she would have thought about whether she was serious about you before doing this. Just because you don't see those sorts of thoughts being considered, it doesn't mean they aren't. Some people see that as a very private thing they do alone.

If there's any further contact from her, warmly wish her well in her future life and try very hard to mean it. Probably not what you wanted to hear.

[Hidden in reply to PearCider]

I figured and I understand. Thank you kindly for your response, PearCider. I hope you’re doing ok.

I honestly don’t intend to hear or see her ever again. I’ve not seen her since the moment I left at the last opportunity that she could have told me. If I were to see her again, my head wouldn’t cope because of how she ended it without giving me the chance to express how I felt in person. As awful as it sounds, she’s dead to me. As cruel as this sounds, it’s been the only way for me to even try to cope - by wiping out every trace of her from my life. I would ignore her and not acknowledge her presence at each opportunity if she’s ever the same place/room. In my head I’d wish her well, but externally I don’t for I won’t be manipulated ever again.

[PearCider in reply to Hidden]

My honest advice is don't let it bug you, let go of it, water under the bridge... Though I understand that may take a while and is easier said than done

[j-o-h-n]

From a very experienced senior..... Been there, done that and have a tee shirt to prove it. There is plenty of fish in the ocean. Time heals all wounds (I know that because of my age). Best thing is to put all of that "stuff" behind you and just go on to bigger and better relationships. Consider it's that person's loss and you will probably be better off without that person. You were taken for "a ride" from this person just so you can help that person with their relocation. I can't imagine being with some one who took that kind of advantage of me just for their own greedy self. You sound like a nice person so just go forward, and don't look back...

Good Luck and Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Saturday 02/11/2023 10:21 PM EST