Do I have Asperger’s?

[AspergerPossible]

My work colleagues (some with kids with Asperger’s), definitely think I have Asperger’s. I’m an adult. What advice would you give me?

I scored 21/30 on Clinical Partners online assessment

[ubaoz]

With some help from a psychologist, I self-diagnosed at age 69 after never having thought to consider it previously. I just thought I was a bit different/weird.

My approach since has been to get as much information as I can about being on the spectrum (very aspie!) and seeing how it fits me personally. It's also been a great way to learn methods of coping with some of the more challenging aspects as well as discovering all the positive things too, many of which I'd previously just taken for granted.

It's also been interesting as well to see how autism can present differently in women compared to the more "traditional" view, based historically on male presentations. And how women often go undiagnosed because we present differently than the sterotype.

For me, it doesn't seem useful to get a formal diagnosis now as it's unlikely to change my life much. And such a diagnosis would be difficult and expensive to do. But just considering an Asperger's / autism possibility has given me lots of ah-ha moments when I look at my past and explains a great deal about special interests, sensitivities, how I interact with others etc etc.

Having said all that, that's my experience and I feel autism fits me pretty well.

However, I'd be a little cautious in your situation about accepting "diagnosis by colleagues" , so would encourage you to learn as much as you can and just see how it fits for you and take it from there. There are lots of websites and books available with more information.

Here are a couple of links, but there are plenty more rabbit holes to go down once you get looking:

autism.org.uk

tonyattwood.com.au

Books I've found helpful:

Spectrum Women – walking to the beat of autism, edited by Barb Cook and Dr Michelle Garnett.

Late Bloomer: How an Autism Diagnosis Changed My Life by Clem Bastow.

I'm not in the UK, so can't suggest how to get professional input, but I would encourage you to do that if you think it helpful.

Good luck!

[AspergerPossible in reply to ubaoz]

Thank you for a very useful reply! I’ll look into those references you posted.

[JayDW in reply to ubaoz]

I so much identify with this. I read Aspergirls by Rudy Simone when I was a little over 80 years old and suddenly so many things fell into place for me. I have never had any major problems - had a decent job which I enjoyed - and believe I am probably borderline, but so many of the factors rang bells for me. Obviously far too late to do anything about it, but I have found the understanding very comforting.

[ubaoz in reply to JayDW]

Yes, that Rudy Simone book is a good one isn't it. It was one of the first I read too and like you, it helped many things fall into place for me. Likewise I found it comforting. But also a bit sad too – for some of the lost time / opportunities and situations that could have perhaps been different if I'd had the knowledge I have now. All water under the bridge though and I'm happy to have found my "balance" even though it's later in life.

Autism is definitely a spectrum, so I suspect that many of us older, very capable women might still fall on it somewhere, we've just got very good at "fitting in" over many years of practice.

All the best!

[PearCider]

Are you sure you'd want to know, if you had it? It might feel like a label, a curse or a life sentence. You might be happier thinking of yourself as a quirky maverick, a bit different to a lot of other people, and just not knowing what condition if any you have.

It is possible you might be diagnosed with something else, or even told that you didn't have any particular condition. It has happened that people have had to struggle for years to get the diagnosis they believe is the right one. Would you feel annoyed, or cheated, if your GP doesn't refer you for diagnosis, or if the psychologist doesn't say what you expect?

Some lucky people who've been diagnosed say things like, it's been a wonderful journey, they've learned so much about themselves and others, they now see their autism as their superpower, but let's say carefully that doesn't always happen, and it might turn out to be a can of worms you end up wishing you hadn't opened. How would you feel for instance about telling prospective relationship partners, "I really hope you'll go out with me but I have to tell you I have Asperger's syndrome"? How about, "I really hope you'll give me that great job, but I have to declare I have autism and you'll need to make allowances"?

Is there a particular reason why you might want to know? All sorts of things might cause someone to want to understand what condition they have exactly if any... possibly the best would be if you want some support for your issues and believe you're more likely to get it if you have an official diagnosis.

I have to warn you though, to dismiss any ideas you might have of a team of crack experts with white coats and clipboards turning up and saying in a sort of Doc Brown Back-to-the-Future sort of way, "Don't worry kid. We've got this. We'll take it from here." Won't happen, especially not at work (sorry), though if you know exactly what help you want or what exactly you want help with, you're more likely to get it, especially if it's quick and cheap.

What exactly would you do differently, if you were diagnosed tomorrow?

[AspergerPossible]

Very very good reply. Thank you. You’re very intuitive

[wiserlady]

My advice is not to worry about it! I know a guy who owns and runs his own business, a very smart well educated hard working resourceful capable person. But he has a lot of asperger traits too. Some smart alec said he should get checked out for aspergers and then they could advise him on life. Really? He is already far more capable than the person who suggested this, and to go and get checked out like this would mean he is neglecting his business, his customers and earning enough to live on as he is self employed. As for them then advising him, nah, there is nothing they can teach him about life he does not already know or cannot work out for himself. As he is in his 60s he knows it or manages without it anyway.Only worry about it if having a clear diagnosis is going to benefit you, not because other people suggest it or it ticks the boxes for someone.