Family doesn’t believe I have Aspergers

[jasmineWilliams]

I grew up in a religious community and from a cultural background where mental illness is completely ignored.I have severe OCD and have self diagnosed myself with Aspergers.It’s been extremely hard because my family have laughed whenever I bring OCD or Aspergers up.Because of how severe my OCD is,I already always feel like I’m “faking” having Aspergers,so having no family to support me really hurts.Has anyone had to deal with Aspergers by themselves?

[myhealthneeds]

Hello Jasmine. My husband has Aspergers (but now it has been absorbed under Autism in general). I realised that this was the cause of his difficulties but he always thought he was 'ok'. He had been in a Mental Hospital for periods of time as a young man and and was considered mentally unbalanced and had been trying to cope and move on. He was referred to the Mental Health hospital for me to try to get a diagnosis for him but they had never heard of Aspergers at all so I went to a doctor who was doing some study at the Learning Disability Hospital where I worked. He refused initially as he said that my husband did not have a LD but then he said he would see him ONCE. He did, and did tests with him and continued to see him for several sessions (while I observed from the other side of the room). He wrote a report on him and diagnosed him with Aspergers. He was around 60 years of age by then. This has helped him to get support from the NAS and to understand his own needs (hyperactivity, anxiety, anger, misunderstanding etc). We also found that he was hypersensitive to substances and to certain foods, like bananas (became very hyperactive), peppers (he became very OCD if he ate these), cheese (quite angry), skimmed milk powder (very confused and arguing and not listening). Best to get a diagnosis and support from other people. If you are in the UK you can get a diagnosis as an adult. All the best. Miriam

[jasmineWilliams in reply to myhealthneeds]

Thank you💕

[wiserlady in reply to myhealthneeds]

I find it disgusting that a mental hospital had never heard of aspergers. Talk about the blind leading the blind. What use are they if they know so little? Nowadays it is so easy to go online and find things out on google you don't need them to tell you everything anyway you can quickly find it out for yourself. I've known people who have googled their health symptoms and been able to diagnose their own illnesses better than the doctors and much quicker.

Two things that might be of help - I've been there and know what it is like -

There is a website that helps a lot of people with this type of thing, go to accuratepsychicreadingsonli... the prayer page. It is free. Post about how you feel, what is troubling you, whichever way suits you, and lots of people will see your post and pray for you and support you, you might even get good advice or a new friend or two. A lot of people in same sort of situation go there so you have things in common.

If in the UK there is a charity called NO PANIC you can phone for telephone support during the day time. Their website is available through google.

[Clarrisa]

Although I sought some therapy in the states, I’ve felt like I’ve dealt with Aspergers by myself. This is because the therapist dealt with the topics I brought up & since I hadn’t the faintest idea I had Aspergers or what it even was I never brought it up for discussion.

Later an Internist request copies of my medical records. They were returned to me after my visit & I read the letter this therapist had written the Internist. Surprise, surprise!

My mother hadn’t lived long enough to hear this news. I don’t think my father or siblings gave it much, if any credence.

It has been a long & lonely row to hoe. My grandparents were homesteaders in the back country, so toughing everything out was the name of their game, & my folks followed suit. Perhaps this engraved mind set made coping easier, I never did expect much from anyone.

[PearCider]

Short answer, yes.

Slightly longer answer, having an official diagnosis from a psychologist via a GP does help, but in the end you're very likely to get left to deal with it yourself, apologising to people at frequent intervals because of their incorrect belief that your ASD behaviour is your fault.

I was diagnosed due to work issues. They subsequently eased off on trying to insist that I do things I couldn't do, but declined to provide any effective support. I could list all the things they turned down; suffice to say that the decisions were taken separately by different groups of people, all of whom took it as read that one of the others would do something. The bottom line seemed to be that they'd help if and only if they could see a significant payoff for themselves.

From bitter experience here, if you want people to help you, you might have to first think about what exactly you want them to do for you, and how helping you would benefit them. If you can think of a good answer, you may be in business. If they'd have to go out of their way and the benefit would only be to you, sorry but expect reluctance. Again from experience, they won't necessarily tell you honestly that they aren't helping because there's no payoff for them. They might dress it up that you haven't met the criteria, you don't really need the help, you should be seeking assistance somewhere else. Coming up with plausible sounding reasons why they won't, why they can't, is a lot easier for them to feel comfortable with than just no period because it just doesn't suit them.

By all means get a diagnosis, if only to prove to yourself and anyone else who doubts it that you really have got ASD; but don't expect getting one to change your life. Sorry, but that's just how the world is.

[jasmineWilliams in reply to PearCider]

Thank you💕

[wiserlady in reply to PearCider]

An official diagnosis might be of help but it's not the be all and end all. I know a guy who is 67 and very capable and smart. He definitely has aspergers. But it does not stop him from owning and running a very successful business, working hard and earning a lot of money, nor having a normal family and home life with all the usual things. People have said he should get an official diagnosis but it wuld mean him travelling hundreds of miles and having to stay over night each time - and pay a lot of money - and all for what? They would not be able to make his life better or make him more capable, he is more capable than most of them. It wuld just mean that he spends far more time travelling and most of his wages on it instead of leading a normal life!

Two things that might be of help - I've been there and know what it is like -

There is a website that helps a lot of people with this type of thing, go to accuratepsychicreadingsonli... the prayer page. It is free. Post about how you feel, what is troubling you, whichever way suits you, and lots of people will see your post and pray for you and support you, you might even get good advice or a new friend or two. A lot of people in same sort of situation go there so you have things in common.

If in the UK there is a charity called NO PANIC you can phone for telephone support during the day time. Their website is available through google.

[PearCider in reply to wiserlady]

Not sure how a diagnosis would involve expense unless you meant by going private. Mine cost me nothing and was done less than five miles away.

[wiserlady in reply to PearCider]

As I said he would have to take two days off of work and travel a long way each time he goes. Two days off of work costs two days wages plus all the expense of travelling and a hotel, and eventually probably have no business anymore because of neglecting it. Time is money. It is also totally pointless for a man of 67 to get an official diagnosis when he has a very good life and is very capable.

[wiserlady]

Your family probably see it as a flaw and feel ashamed and embarrassed. Yet I know people with aspergers who are far smarter and more capable than most, earn a very good income owning and running their own businesses.

Two things that might be of help - I've been there and know what it is like -

There is a website that helps a lot of people with this type of thing, go to accuratepsychicreadingsonli... the prayer page. It is free. Post about how you feel, what is troubling you, whichever way suits you, and lots of people will see your post and pray for you and support you, you might even get good advice or a new friend or two. A lot of people in same sort of situation go there so you have things in common.

If in the UK there is a charity called NO PANIC you can phone for telephone support during the day time. Their website is available through google.