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Alcohol

Caroline74 profile image
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Does anyone else have a problem with alcohol alongside their Eating Disorder. I have anorexia binge purge subtype. I am slowly recovering physically and mentally and have gone from bmi 15 to current 16.9. I'm really really trying hard and working with 2 amazing therapists. I've got to o the stage now where for about 4 days in a week I am following my meal plan- not easy as my therapist has been increasing the calories quite a lot but last week something shifted in me and instead of cutting buts out I dutifully followed it albeit every day feeling I was gaining masses of weight and looking day but I kept going. But then what happens happens virtually every week I had some alcohol- the intention being one or two drinks to stop thinking and relax but then 1-2 turns into 6 and I then binge on food and either vomit or don't eat for 1-2 days and walk for hours. Then I get back on track with lots of support from therapists and it all goes ok then crash the cycle is repeated. I know alcohol has to go because it makes me hate myself and it messes up my eating. I just wondered if anyone else has thus problem or has had it and can help. Although I know the answer is to stop alcohol but I guess I want it to stop my anxiety and stop my thoughts and relax but it always ends in disaster. Thanks for listening x

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Great you've got such good support and that you have gained some weight - so make sure you acknowledge just how far you've come and just how much you've achieved. Do you have any hobbies? I have started card making and cross stitching - and I do this after I've had a meal so that I don't continually re-visit what I've eaten - I found this really helpful and it has enabled me to deal with a lot of the anxiety around my increased meal plan. I also find phoning someone or meeting up with them after a meal also helps. Have you talked to your therapists about it - sounds like you need to devise a strategy to "cope" with the feelings rather than drown them out. Maybe its also about not buying alcohol at present so the temptation is not there in the first place? Hope this helps - but don't give up on yourself - you've achieved so much so don't beat yourself up too much over occasional blips.

The thing is 30-40% of recovering anorexics will turn bulimic so unfortunately it's like you have escaped from Ana only to then run into Mia and become a slave to her

Having a drink with your evening meal is enjoyable if you could have a glass of wine with your meal that would be fine but if one turns into 6 drinks then maybe you should stop but first try to have one or 2 drinks every night with your meal

Even if you do give up alcohol it seems the urge to overeat has possibly set in so you should tell your therapists about this, bulimia is just as big a problem as anorexia but it can be fixed hypnotherapy has worked for some

The thing to address is the controlling destructive component of anorexia/bulimia and try to defy it and to go against the demands of self destruct it tries to impose on you, also don't beat yourself up for overeating - Ana instilled such impossible goals bc she wants you dead Mia wants you dead too but from suicide from feeling guilty for overeating if you really want to get well you have to see thru these impossible demands your eating disorder has put on you and stop following the demands this is when true recovery can start

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