Giving up

counselling getting really tough. Thinking about giving up.

20 Replies

  • :( hang in there..challenging our thoughts is always though but if you notice improvements maybe the tough part just means it's working out:)

    Another story is if you feel it's not the right treatment for you..maybe in that case you can look for a different type of therapy or therapist. Let us know how it's going!xx

  • I think even my therapist feels overwhelmed by it all. Its so tough sometimes x

  • I can imagine must be hard..i've never had a " severe" issue and still my therapist sometimes used to get frustrated..I think therapist can feel overwhelmed too i know what you mean:) but i hope if it's worthy you will not give up no matter the tough moments.

    We are with you

  • thank u. Its so tough I had a really gentle nurturing counsellor. I'm struggling to get used to the new counsellor.

  • Hope he is nice. The new one. I think it's easy to create a special bond with some people it's hard to leave a person and get affectionate to a new one. I m about to start therapy after leaving the therapist i ve been seeing for 5 years. I know must be hard getting used to a new person. It's nice that the previous one was so nurturing maybe this one will be to. The first months my therapist didn't seem so nurturing and after a while seeming a bit on her own instead she turned out to be very caring.

    Hope you' ll be in caring hands:)

  • yes she is nice just don't have that same connection. Five yrs gosh that must be so tough. I'm griefing for my.old therapist and that was only two yrs. Hope I can move FWD.

  • Maybe you can talk about that? I mean talking to your new therapist about how you feel and that you miss the old one and struggle to move on?

    Some struggles sometimes hide other things behind and therapist don't take it personally it's their job to deal with those kind of emotions..

    Maybe talking to your new therapist about how you feel can even help to create more connection?

    I mean maybe being honest and open about it at least you will feel understood and your new therapist could help u with these feelings.

    I've always told everything to my therapist, even when i was angry at her or not connected and i feel that helped me so much and helped "us" so much working together on my issues

  • I already feel bad because my new therapist said I feel a disappointment to u . I had to be honest and say every time I go in that room I'm reminded of my old therapist and just feel sad disappointed and empty

  • Did your therapist say you are a disappointment or that you feel he is a disappointment?

    Sorry i m not sure i got it right

  • she said she feels a disappointment to me

  • Well, some therapists sometimes say things also to provoque some feelings so that you can bring all your feelings out and talk about difficult things.

    Maybe she senses that is a difficult subject for you and she's trying to help you getting it out.

    But honestly, i don't think there's nothing bad about how you feel. Even if it were true that you are disappointed it's normal.

    Nothing to be ashamed of. The other day i was feeling the urge to call my old therapist and i think i will always miss her and think she's important to me, but i m also aware that i need to be able to ask for help for myself.

    I think she says things to you to help you, if he's a good therapist he will appreciate your honesty.

    Even if you want to say you are disappointed and sad just say it. Maybe you need to talk about this sadness in order to overcome it and continue to be helped. Take your time but don't be ashamed or feel bad about any of your feelings, they are common and normal many other people experience them.

    I guess i imagine what u mean. I think i will feel the same when starting new therapist. First days after moving i cried. I couldn't even go near the city where my therapist used to have sessions with me. I feel for you and i m with you. If you can and trust your new therapist i really encourage u trying to bring it up as could be very beneficial. Or maybe talking to someone u care about it.

  • I'm devastated that I don't see my old therapist she gave me a lot of things I didn't get as a child. Acceptance,safety and trust. I like this new lady but she will never be Nicky

  • I know what u mean. She never will. Every therapist is unique.:)

    That's also the good thing about therapy

  • I hate comparing but can't help it. I also feel this new lady trying to fix me. Told her don't want to be fixed or rescued just listened and valued

  • I agree sometimes i felt that way too and i just talked to my therapist about it.

    Ifeven by talking doesn't get better you can consider maybe changing therapist. I think the more she knows about how u are feeling in therapy the better she's able to help you.

    For example she may be not able to change EVERYTHING about her approach, but be able to change some things and making you feel better.

    It's good you are acknowledging what u like and don't like btw, that's always helpful in my opinion..

  • I think the other counsellor had person centered counselling. Where u kinda have to dig deep and find the answers yourself.I prefer that

  • Don't let the ED thoughts get the better of you - counselling is challenging the ED and our thoughts and feelings - I know that I felt like calling it a day so many times - but giving up is allowing the ED to take full control again - so try to stick with it - I wrote down how I was feeling regularly - and what my particular daily struggles were - and use this as a base for the next counselling session - this really worked for me and helped me sort out the "real" thoughts and those driven by the ED.

  • just feel very disconnected to my counsellor really miss my old counsellor

  • Its so tough when you change counsellor - especially when the new one approaches things differently. When I felt this I wrote a few notes about what I felt I needed and areas I struggled with and this really helped as we had more of an agenda to work with - not that my counsellor didn't go off at a tangent sometimes from my agenda - but actually these times were quite productive and made me look at things in a different and more helpful way. Just give the new counsellor a chance - relationships and trust take time to build - and she's probably very different from your previous supporter - will keep you in my prayers and pray that you'll find the sessions useful and helpful to your recovery.

  • Therapy is exhausting. It can take it out of you, but stay strong, you are stronger than you think. If you are struggling through a session or need to take a break for a few minutes tell your counselor, they will understand. Good luck xx