I dont know what to do

[Lottieluxx]

I was diagnosed with Anorexia 2 years ago in february when i was only 12, I used to be very large and started loosing weight healthily but then i took it too far. i went to hopsital and was in a bad state and i came home and it was easter and after that i couldnt go to school. I hid food and would hide from it and still now it is the enemy to me. I also have panic attacks and terrible anxiety and sleep paralysis and it all comes from the anorexia, its horrible.I dont understand why it has to be like this. I was happy this time last year then i had a binging problem over the summer and my dietitian and therapist said it was normal but i feel even worse now, even though i have worked very hard to be healthy again. I have good moments and bad but i cant find a middle ground and i just want my worry of food and how it consumes me and how i cant stop thinking about it to go. I dont understand it. I have startes CBT but i still feel like i havent acomplisehd anything. I dont know what to do and its so hard to explain how i feel.

[crazycrossstitcher]

I really feel for you - its such a hard place to be in - and you can feel so trapped and isolated by your thoughts and feelings. I do hope you have someone to talk to about this - and are able to tell them how you really feel. CBT is a slow process - but can help in my experience. Have you contacted ABC or BEAT - they both have helplines and support that you can access and this might give you additional help? I shall keep you in my prayers.

[Lottieluxx in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you very much, i just feel like i cant excape "the monster" in my head which seems to control me, but thank you for your kind words and help, i think i will contact BEAT or ABC, but luckily CBT will help in long term x

[lilybut]

approx 30 % os recovering anorexics develop binge eating so you are not alone - it's like it's the same thing driving you to over eat that drove you to starve yourself finding the middle ground can be difficult but it is achievable - some people go to hypnotherapists as it can work quite well on over eating

[Lottieluxx in reply to lilybut]

Thank you, it seems to have mostly stopped but food is always an issue and thats whats so horrible, but i am proud for breaking through the binging and now im working on balance

[lovali]

Hi, I am in the exact same position as you and I still feel to be bigger than I actually am when people tell me that I am under weight. Just thought I'd let you know that I understand how you feel