I was wondering if anyone knew of support resources for trans people in recovery, because a lot of the pro recovery sites I visit for support say things like "do it for the boobs" or stuff like that, whereas I just want to minimise all the female aspects of my body. I tried searching for stuff but all I found were articles proclaiming that being trans is a mental illness similar to having an eating disorder. I just feel lost- the only thing that makes me want to gain any weight is to have chest surgery, but that's so far off in the future anyway, and I just can't deal with feeling so awful about my body and gender until then.
Any advice? I want to get better but I'm scared if I look more feminine my suicidality will return