Momz

[amethya]

My mom was diagnosed with alz/dementia in 2014, my sister keeps me informedon her well being because i live away from where she is. I was just told mom had to be put in bed due to her leaning, safety issue. A nurse told my sister that moms body was starting to shut down. I understand it to a point, but then again i dont, its like i cant grasp it. Its also sad.

[Jillco66]

I'm so sorry for your pain. I understand completely. My mom was diagnosed a couple of years ago and we are currently at the point of moving her into an Alzheimer's facility. This disease is so sad. I've never cried so much. I'm watching my mom decline rapidly. It's so frustrating because there is nothing we can do to stop the process. But we can love hard and deep from wherever we live. Sending love and light 🙏🏻

[amethya in reply to Jillco66]

Thank you

[jaykay777]

Yes, Amethya, it's sad that your mom's body is starting to shut down, but I personally prefer being told the truth than when doctors and nurses used to tell family members half-truths about a loved one's condition. This is an opportunity for you and your sister to learn more about hospice care and think about whether you want that for your mom. I felt well supported by the hospice team that helped me care for my late husband.

[amethya in reply to jaykay777]

Im very familiar with hospice, i was a cna for hospice yrs. ago. I suggested it to my brother, and beings hes in denial snapped at me and made me cry. Hes also verbally in charge.

[jaykay777]

amethya -- I never heard the expression "verbally in charge" before, He but I can imagine what that's like. I'm sorry to hear he snapped at you and made you cry. I've always regretted that I never had sisters or brothers, but maybe there's a positive side to being an only child. When my father, who was my mother's sole caregiver, died suddenly, I immediately made decisions about her care. That was in the late 1980s before there were hospice services in the area where we lived.

[amethya in reply to jaykay777]

Yes, mom didnt sign any papers or anything, she told myself, and my sister that my brother was in charge.

[jaykay777]

It's too bad your mother didn't sign any papers, and I can learn from that. I believe I've put in writing that, of my three children, my older son would be in charge if I became incapacitated, but I don't know where the original paper is. I need to find it and make copies for my children and my legally adopted stepchildren.

[mama27]

Very sad.

Dealing it myself with my nana.

Heartbreaking some days.

You're not alone. Always remember that x

[Poppygail Ambassador]

Amethya, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. On top of everything else, the decisions you are asked to make are heart wrenching. I went through this very scenario with my mother just over a year ago. I would suggest that no matter how "gone" she seems or how blank the stare, talk to her and touch her. Let her know you think she's still there. I believe my mother knew I was interacting with her til the end though there was little to no response. And it gave me great comfort in the dark times afterwards to know that I tried. Palliative care and hospice were also of great value in the end. They made things much easier for my mother and our family. I will keep you in my thoughts.