What I dreaded and knew would eventually come happened this morning.

[Poppygail]

Hi All,

On most mornings I take a walk just after dawn. Usually I will wind up 2-3 miles from the house before I turn around to return home. I have ~7 well worn routes that I chose from on each walk to avoid boredom and repetition for my muscles. As I was bopping along on my walk this morning I came to a corner, looked around and realized I didn't know where I was, how I got there, nor did I have any idea which way to go to get home. Let's just say there was a moment of panic that ran through my mind. Thankfully this confusion/brain fog only lasted 30-40 seconds and everything was clear again and I was on my way home. But those 30-40 seconds seemed like an eternity. I knew this would eventually happen. I was just hoping it would stay away much longer. I do not wish to lose the independence of my mornings walks but if this were to progress it could become quite unsafe to be wandering several miles from home. No one at home usually knows where I am when I go walking because I usually don't know where I'm going to wind up until I get started and haphazardly chose a path. I suppose this is going to have to change. In the grand scheme of changes to come I suppose this isn't terribly major but it is yet another reminder that changes are not only coming but occurring each and every day, for better or worse...

[jaykay777]

Poppygail --It always surprises me that people with memory loss can show great insight into their conditions and express their reactions so precisely. Just a thought; if I were in your situation I would write and carry with me, a paper stating where I live and whom to contact by phone in case I needed help returning home. Although you value your independence you might consider inviting a friend to accompany you. And you might want to get an i.d. bracelet or pendant. I wish you many days of happy walking.

[Poppygail Ambassador in reply to jaykay777]

Thank you jaykay for your kind response. I do wear a medical ID bracelet which contains instructions on how to obtain my home address contact person, physician, and relevant medical conditions/ information. It can be accessed by scanning with a smart phone, calling an 800 number or going to the indicated web site.

To date, everyone who is physically able to walk with me works at that time of morning or is asleep from working 3rd shift. And up to this point the need wasn't there to change my routine. All that may well have to change. Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of changes headed to my future. Of course, keeping a positive attitude, many of those changes are bound to be positive....

[Hidden]

Wow...what an amazing entry. Like JayKay, I too am amazed at the insight those with memory loss share. Regarding your efforts to walk independently, I've read so much about how much better people with memory loss do when they can remain mobile. Maybe you can consider taking an iPhone with the Find My Phone feature activated. As long as you have your phone with you, a family member can use that to locate you. There are probably similar apps for other phones. Perhaps you could always call your family member to let them know you're headed out the door and that you will call them when you return home. If you don't call back in the allotted time, they can call you or locate you by activating this feature. Or, there are medic alert devices, gps devices that can be places in your shoe, and gps tracking watches that you can wear so that your family can locate you in case of an emergency like you experienced Just a thought to keep you safely mobile.

[Poppygail Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Stephanie for the amazing suggestions! I'm a bit miffed at myself for not thinking of them on my own but hey, it takes a village, right? I do carry an Android phone with me which has a very similar function to find my phone, this is an excellent idea. Also, I use MapMyWalk while I'm out which utilizes a nice gps feature. I think if I friend someone they can follow me on the app as I walk, hadn't thought of that either. I'll have to check it out. And it would be really simple to text someone when I left and again when I returned. Simple yet brilliant ideas. I'm so glad I found this community.

[Ruthi]

Oh dear! I'm, er, 'normal', (joined because of a friend) but it happens to me regularly! I just walk along in a dream (with the dogs), look up and don't recognise where I am or remember how I got there! I have a compass app on my phone, and use that to head home. If you don't use a smartphone could you use a satnav?

I certainly wouldn't let it stop me going out. You just need strategies for finding your way home again. Wen you reach the stage of not remembering the strategies is the time to worry.

So normal to be entirely lucid in some spheres, and get confused in others. My father, when he could no longer operate any machine, not even a key in a lock, could still hold a proper, reasoned conversation about politics! I think that is the cruel part, because it means you understand what is happening.

[Poppygail Ambassador in reply to Ruthi]

Hi Ruth,

Thank you for your response. That is one of the best parts about being part of this site, being around "normal" folks who understand what your saying and don't just meet your statement with a quizzical stare. Yes, I do utilize MapMyWalk while I'm out and it has an excellent gps and live mapping feature. As long as I can remain lucid enough to remember how to follow it I'm in good shape. I'm borrowing trouble and worrying about the coming day when I just stare at the screen and have no idea what I'm looking at. I've always felt a good thought out plan for what may come is well worth the effort. As with most DLB patients, both my parents would have periods of lucidity, sometimes minutes sometimes days, but you never knew at what moment they would slip back into neverland and not even have an idea of how to use a remote, little lone an app on a phone. This is what I know is eventually coming and I just hope and pray it's not at a time when I'm in a place such as I was yesterday. It seems I'm not making a lot of sense because I seem to be rambling, maybe I'm slipping a bit now. Again, thank you for your response and suggestions.

[Ruthi in reply to Poppygail]

Its a small risk, though, At least at this stage, and worth taking.

The police brought my dad home several times - once stark naked in January! In the end he had to go into a home because mum couldn't mind him 24 hours a day. And I was far away with small children. In a lucid moment he told me he felt much safer in the home because there was always someone around. Not only that but the night staff were happy to talk politics with him when everyone else was asleep, and leave him in bed in the morning!

Its a frightening prospect, but I suspect living it won't be as bad as the anticipation.

[Poppygail Ambassador in reply to Ruthi]

I think you're most likely correct. It is a very small risk at this stage. I think with my family's history I'm just extremely sensitive to the changes right now and I need a reasoned voice such as yours on occasion to bring me back to center. It's a much appreciated voice. Thanks for your wisdom.

[daddyt]

Been there, done that. Very frightening.