My gp told me my kidney's were fine, don't worry, go home. I might be dehydrated. For over 2 weeks? My heart is enlarged. A recent change since kidney issues popped up. Cardiad doc said, 4 years ago it wasn't after heart valve repair. Two tests in 2 M time came back that my heart is enlaged. He said let's just wait til January 23 when she is scheduled.
I have heard of some very extreme cases of gaslighting by md's. What frightens me is those patients who would blow it off feeling good the dr said you were fine. Problems only grow worse when one waits. I demanded more tests bc I knew something was wrong with my kidney's and heart.
Like to hear anyone's stories
Judy
Written by
resqme1065
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Sadly it happens all to often, especially to women and I’m currently dealing with it now, I’m not prepared to go away quietly when the Drs are clearly ignoring the results !
This seems to be happening more and more. Especially here in the USA.. I know I'm being gaslighted. The Drs we're getting now seem to have no compassion or concern for the patient. Makes you feel more like you're on an assembly line. You're just a number on the insurance policy. I've read so many articles lately about people being gaslighted. And it's mostly us women. All ages. It's appalling that this continues in this day and age. But it seems worse than ever. And if you try to be demanding and ask for tests the Drs get huffy (doesn't matter how nice you are to them) and you are hysterical or hostile or anxious or whatever they choose to call you in order to make themselves look good. Medicine is not what it once was when I was younger. I hear so many people I talk to say the same thing. Drs don't listen or look at you.
I heard of a case where the dr even called a woman's husband that it was all in her head! She did have cancer! One must be their one advocate and remain strong.
It is most definitely not just a US problem - gaslighting is alive and well over here too! I just recently posted on here about a 'fulsome apology' the NHS was forced to make publically over the many years that women's complaints about health problems including severe pain that were a result of meshes being used to treat prolapses and other conditions were dismissed and ignored. (sorry for the long & unwieldy sentence!) That's just one example.
I was notified that you sent me a reply, but just as I felt your reply was a tad unnecessary, you must have done also, as I can't find it. I did happen to spot on my medical record, that a nurse practitioner implied I was uncooperative as I didn't answer her call back. I didn't answer it as no-one asked me to call them. My phones didn't ring. I have notified them by letter as to why I discontinued a course of tablets.
I once had it put in my medical file that I was "difficult" because I'd just been informed that my baby was dead (I was 8 months pregnant) and wanted to spend that night at home as they weren't going to induce labour until the following day. They said no and I cried and signed an AMA form to go home.
That note followed me through the next two pregnancies. I thought I was going mad - I remember saying to my husband that every single medical person seemed to have an attitude with me the moment they walked in the door. Eventually one of my midwives told me about the note. She said "We thought we would find you difficult but you're so nice!" I asked what why she would think that and she admitted about the note.
Shocking. I'm sorry you've had a somewhat similar experience.
I don't think my experience was as bad as yours. I did have a good GP laugh at me when I told him Bisoprolol was causing painful rashes. He didn't believe me. When my opinion was confirmed by another GP who had dermatological qualifications a month later he did have the grace to apologise to me. And when I was being weaned off them when Bisoprolol caused a very sudden onset of bad asthma, when I was close to the medical centre it was he who rang for the ambulance. I use the Airmid app to see my medical record and communicate with my medical centre.
It's only gaslighting when it's done deliberately, eg knowingly making a false statement. Innocently getting it wrong - making a mistake, easy for medics to do - isn't gaslighting.
I've deleted my original reply, which appears to have caused people problems. I try at all times to be positive, in the spirit of the Health Unlocked discussion terms.
Thomas, I didn't see your original reply. My response was maybe a bit brief, a bit lacking in warmth. I was just making a quick point in the passing, with no other aim but to clarify the meaning of gaslighting, which I regard as a very nasty practice.
Good point, but I do think there's a middle ground when it comes to medics. They might not know that what a patient is expressing is correct when they tell the patient that they're wrong, but if they had more curiosity about it rather than going to the default "I know what I'm talking about and you don't" then there'd be a lot less wrong information given out and problems addressed much sooner.
Yeah, I agree: there are definitely reasons to be less than impressed by the performance of some medics, Helen, though I think that competence is the issue then. I was only weighing in on "gaslighting" which is more often the resort of politicians and people with something to hide. . .
I don't agree with this. innocently getting it wrong?
I was gaslit by my EP. I connected my "afib" to my digestive system, and during my appointment I talked about it. He told me Afib doesn't usually have triggers (LOL!) and that I'll "always be doing something when afib happens". Said it would not help me to see a gastroenterologist because "They'll just run some tests and give you meds, and you'll still have afib. " On top of it, at the end of the appointment he asked me to repeat back to him, with a tone to put me in the place of a child, the options he gave me during our conversation (ablation or flecainide).
Months later I decided to see a GI. I've diagnosed myself with gastrocardia. My tachy/ectopics that have preceded every fast heart rate episode I've had (I'm calling it fast heart rate episode now rather than labeling it definitively as afib) now end within 10 minutes of me taking an antacid. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I had already figured this out last year but because of my appointment with him and him basically telling me I'm imagining things, it took me 6 more months to decide again to go back to believing in what I already knew was working. It was hard to figure out because I don't have obvious reflux/gerd symptoms or anything.
I've stopped taking my beta blocker, and I have been fast heart rate episode free since April 4th. My previous episodes when they happened, would give me a sustained heart rate over 200bpm ranging up to about 280bpm. They were regular though (as in sinus tachy), I went back and looked closer at my EKGs. Even my Zio patch in December showed primarily SVT - though it claimed I had Afib once during 2 weeks of wearing it for 30 seconds. I have no idea whether I actually have Afib or not at this point. I would assume if I did, an antacid would not stop it every single time.
My first ER visits and first cardiologist visits were doozies too - I was told I was just having panic attacks or drinking too much caffeine no matter how many times I denied this was the case. The cardiologist told me I "just need more stamina" !!!
🤣
in reply to
You have my full sympathy - nothing like being treated like a complete idiot. But sounds like you've made good progress with understanding your own body and how to support it!
I've had three babies and every single time I was told that I was not in labour when I was. And not just told; told like I was a naughty child. The first time this happened the nurse turned and was literally leaving the room when the baby's head crowned. The second time the Matron virtually rolled her eyes at me and said 'you're not in labour but I'll move you to the labour ward' and an hour later I had an emergency C-section, The third time I left the hospital and had my baby on the living room floor an hour later.
Nobody knows our own body like we do. Nobody. However long they went to school.
You're kind, Singwell, but I can honestly say that this particular set of circumstances (being told I wasn't in labour) didn't particularly upset me, though I certainly have had more than a few issues with medics that really have upset me, deeply at times. With regards the labour (or lack thereof) I was just really infuriated.!
It took me quite a while to figure out what was going on but I eventually realised that the definition of 'established labour' is that contractions progress, coming closer together and lasting longer, and for whatever reason my body just didn't do that, while still somehow managing to be fairly efficient at achieving the desired result.
My body doesn't ever seem to do things 'by the book', which I can only assume is why I seem to have had such a high number of run ins and bad experiences with medics. I'm a bit like Harris in Three Men in a Boat, who read the medical encylopaedia and became convinced that he had everything except Housemaid's Knee and was going to donate his body to medical science! I don't have everything except Housemaid's Knee but the workings of my body are a complete mystery and I have often said that I should donate it to medical science 🤣
If being told my symptoms are just me being anxious as a cancer survivor is considered gaslighting then it happened for two years until those symptoms became so severe I started fainting and then they discovered my arrhythmia along with high constipation. My GP even screamed at me to “fix my issues” Re: constipation. Last week the Cardiac Electrophysiologist acknowledged arrhythmias and gut issues co-exist! Eureka moment
Don’t you just love it when the GP doctor says “what do you expect at your age?” Also to be told by my dentist after my annual check “they will see you out” when I asked if my teeth were OK😄. Makes one feel really old.
Hi. After my first mitral valve surgery I was placed on the hospital ward from hell. The doctors were rude, the nurses were inappropriate and there was even a fight between patients. They weren’t giving regular pain relief and people were absolutely at the end of their tether. I was told that I wasn’t entitled to know what tests they were doing and I’d only find out if things went wrong. I was also told that I had no right to feel tired as I was the youngest on the ward (at 50 following open heart surgery). There was a catalogue of events including not having a shower for 10 days because they had nobody to help me etc etc. I complained and now believe that the decision to do so now follows me around whenever I see health professionals. Some staff are openly hostile and defensive with me when I give no reason for them to be. I go out of my way to be polite but non confrontational but I’m afraid that some health staff just mark your card and it sticks.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Medication
Medication
Medication
Medication
Medication 
