Advice needed

[Davidc1075]

Hi I wonder can anyone help. My family live overseas and I dont have any friends who I can call on. I am terrified of dying at home and not being found. I have a pension that covers all my outgoings so no one will ever come looking. So anyone else put something in place should the worse happen to them. I cant think of what to do, I was a cop for 30 years so I have been there when people have been found and it's not something I would ever want someone to experience .

[bantam12]

It’s a problem for sure, I’m in the same situation and live in a rural place so nobody would notice if the lights weren’t on or I hadn’t been seen for days.

There is a service called Trust by Phone where for £10 a month they give you a daily call or text to check you are ok and they will take action if you don’t respond.

I haven’t looked into it in detail but presume it covers all areas.

[jeanjeannie50]

I know just how you feel, Fortunately, I have good neighbours and I've told them that if they see my curtains in the lounge shut in the daytime and I don't answer either my landline or mobile phones, then please come into the house (next door neighbours have a key). I also have some friends who ring me daily and they would call my daughter if I didn't answer after they'd had no response for more than a day. Could you ask your neighbours to do the same and give one of them a key?

Jean

[Buffafly]

I had an arrangement with my mother that she phoned am and let the phone ring three times then put down. If no call I knew there was a problem. That’s no trouble to anybody unless you don’t call of course. I can understand your feelings re dying unnoticed. There is the ‘piper system’, not quite sure of the details but my info says it causes some problems such as people setting it off accidentally and is expensive. Best wishes 🍀

[CDreamer]

Hi David - some good suggestions but I think it’s a difficult one. Especially as the numbers dying alone at home is increasing.

We live in an Independent Living Retirement Village where we have first responders. The house is set up with sensors which if no movement is sensed by 11.00 am, a first responder is in the doorstep. It would obviously be a paid for service but that might work for you?

Organisations which may have advice Age Concern , Dying Matters from the Hospice Movement, Local government?

Hope that helps.

[Hidden]

It’s a horrible thought and I can understand your dilemma. I’m not prying but has something happened, such a change in your health caused you to be concerned. If that’s the case, maybe an emergency call system around your neck might be useful as this would enable to seek assistance if you took a turn for the worse. It wouldn’t be much help if something happened suddenly or whilst asleep I know but it might be worth thinking about. As suggested, you could contact charities or see if your local council can help. Could moving to more suitable accommodation be possible, I think could be a potential problem for many here so hopefully you will get some helpful replies

[Davidc1075 in reply to Hidden]

Hi there well my story was that I collapsed in a multistory car park after suffering from a double pulmory embolism. Blood clots on both lungs very lucky to make it.

[Hidden in reply to Davidc1075]

Wow, no wonder you are concerned!!

[Camelia23 in reply to Davidc1075]

Sorry to hear that. If you can afford it one of those alarms you can wear would be useful. Hope you sort something soon!

[momist]

I would ask your local Age UK to see if they have any advice - they will know of local services and might have volunteers who might help. The phone each day service that Bantam12 mentioned sounds like a good alternative.

[Lupaal]

Could your overseas family not text you once a day to check on you or you text them and if they don't hear from you within 24 hours, contact emergency services.

[Bunnyuk]

I get a friend to message/WhatsApp me every day. If he doesn't get a reply that day he knows something is wrong. It's comforting to have that brief check in every day and know someone is thinking of me.

[SeanJax]

Learn as we are going to live forever and live as we are going to die tomorrow. Enjoy each and every day. Nobody can escape it. Die noticed or unoticed, what changes? We are already gone. The problem is when you are sick and need help . Try to plan for it. It is the is the issue for all elderly people living on their own. Assisting living or have a roommate? It is not an easy planning.

[dedeottie]

Gosh David this is something I had never considered but now I see that I will if I am on my own . By all the likeminded replies you will now know that you are absolutely not alone with these worries and although it won’t solve the problem it may help to know that. CDreamers situation seems ideal to me but if not possible, Trust by Phone would seem to be a good alternative.Take care David

X

[Davidc1075 in reply to dedeottie]

Thank you best wishes