Feeling anxious

[Kazzy1967]

Hi all,

The last week I have felt so anxious it is starting to control my life, I’m scared to go out or do anything as I think I’m going to pass out or make a fool of myself, I’m really starting to struggle.

Any ideas would be great

Thanks

[Peony4575]

Hi Kazzy so sorry to hear you feel like that it’s classic anxiety . The reality is no one would think you were making a fool of yourself if you did pass out they would all rush to help and be very concerned about you like I am now .That thought is a classic anxiety trick to keep you in the house . If you are in the UK there is a brilliant website called “It’s just a feeling “ with lots of really good advice and info from someone who suffered badly and recovered . I know what anxiety is like you are not alone x

[Kazzy1967 in reply to Peony4575]

Thank you so much for your advice, yes I am in the UK and will try and look at the website, thank you for your kind words.Xx

[Peony4575 in reply to Kazzy1967]

You can always message me if you are having a wobble and don’t want to publicly post . Am sure Paulbounce would say the same . Anxiety is like an abuser I always think it tries to isolate and control you and undermine your self confidence . Paul is right step outside your house and if you have a garden have a wander . Great advice on that website xx

[Paulbounce in reply to Peony4575]

Peony wrote

"You can always message me if you are having a wobble and don’t want to publicly post . Am sure Paulbounce would say the same"

Yes 100%. However Kaz I can't give you any help (apart from listening) as I'm not a trained councillor or medic.

What to say ? I'm happy to PM you my contact details but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do. Personally I think posting on the forum is the best thing - I'm sure others will be able to help better than I.

You'll sort it sweetheart.

Loads and loads of best,

Paul

EDIT - Hi Kaz. Sweetheart I'm thinking about this one. I offered my contact details but maybe it's not the best of ideas. That's not because I don't want to help but I'm not qualified to offer advice. However here's a promise - ask any questions here and I'll research for you and see if I can find any answers. I can't promise but I will try my best. I'm turning off the computer for the evening now but will check the thread first thing in the morning.

[Kazzy1967 in reply to Paulbounce]

Hi Paulbounce Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I just feel like everything is getting so out of hand, I actually work the nhs on a ward in these crazy times, I haven’t had a sick day in a year and lots of people around me are getting Covid. It’s just mad I’m feeling this way, I have a wonderful family, but just can’t seem to shake this feeling.

It’s bad I’m normal out going but just don’t seem to have that oh la la anymore.

[Hammerhead56 in reply to Kazzy1967]

I have been like this on and off since Covid really kicked off and I m not anywhere near as close to or as brave as you have been, not at all surprised you are suffering from this. Some good replies too, good luck 👍

[Paulbounce]

Hiya Kaz.

I can really understand you feeling anxious in these uncertain times.

Not many people know this but I have also suffered from anxiety and it can still kick in sometimes. I remember as a young man being scared to leave the house one day. It's almost a feeling of shame - you feel weak and not in control. There's no shame in that at all.

You wrote

"I think I’m going to pass out or make a fool of myself"

No you won't. I think the fear is far greater than the reality. First of all if you did pass out - so what ? No one will judge you or think any the worse about you.

May I suggest just starting with small steps. Take a walk now to the end of your street. If you want to return home you know you are 30 seconds away and back safe and sound. Maybe go a little further the next day and so on.

You can do it Kaz - I know you can. Here's a 'Paul Promise'. You'll beat it and will come out stronger. It won't be half as bad as you think. Just take the first step now - even if it's just stepping outside for a few minutes.

You'll get on top of it Kaz. Start now though - the longer you leave it the more the worry factor will build up.

I know you'll crack this one - you have already started by posting on the forum.

Round one to Kaz (judges decision).

Best,

Paul

[Ppiman]

In my long and continuing experience of the debilitating and depressing state of mind that people call "anxiety", "stress" or "panic" (but which sufferers know to be fear), I have found only three ways out. They can all help to return life to being bearable again.

The first and by far the best way is also the simplest since there's only one thing to remember and to do once the anxiety grows out of control. That is, to tell yourself that you have been here before and that it went away last time, and you didn't go mad, collapse, have a heart attack, end up screaming in a heap on the floor... or die. Life went on. Time truly can be the great healer if you can convince yourself to let it. Keep in mind, too, that, compared with people who don't struggle with this awful condition, you can tell yourself, quite truthfully, that you were something of a hero to cope with it as well as you did.

The second way is to ask your doctor to give you a few 5mg diazepam tablets for use in emergencies when the fear just won't subside and insomnia starts to make things worse. If your GP is understanding, he or she will do this despite their reasonable reluctance owing to the risk of dependency developing. If used sensibly, this can never happen. The drug does help.

The third way is linked to the first but works less well in my experience. It requires help from a trained councillor or (just as successful in many people, I gather), from a book or a website (such as the one you've been recommended). It's called "cognitive behavioural therapy" or "CBT". You can find lots about it free from the Internet.

Steve

[Hidden in reply to Ppiman]

I agree with all three of these. Doctors are usually reluctant to prescribe diazepam because it can be addictive, but they will usually agree to a short course of tablets for a week or two if someone is having a particularly anxious time.

I would add a fourth item to the list and that is simply a *timetable*. It’s important to plan and stick to a timetable for the day when anxious, and to avoid sitting about ruminating over worries. Try to make the daily plan as varied as possible but don’t do things which are too stressful.

[Ppiman in reply to Hidden]

Thanks, and, yes, you're right. What a good idea.

Steve

[Hidden]

I would advise speaking to your GP - it’s best to take prompt action with this sort of anxiety so that it doesn’t become entrenched. He might put you forward for CBT therapy. There are also very good books available for this sort of thing which involve doing exercises. The Anxiety and Worry Workbook- the Cognitive Behavioural Solution by Clark and Beck (available on Amazon) is written by and recommended by psychotherapists and is based on scientific evidence.

[Steve112]

Hi Kazzy 1967

Sorry to read that you are feeling this way i guess along with so many others at the moment having to cope with it all in these unprecedented times.

You are most definitely not alone the smallest of problem/situations can be amplified negatively when feeling this way it affects us all in very different ways at all times of the day but the results can often be the same.

It is true a short walk and some fresh air when you feel able or when it stops raining can really help never underestimate the good any exercise can do.

There is a wealth of advice on the internet and of course speaking to your GP is maybe something you should consider.

This link may be of some help

mind.org.uk/information-sup...

Take care Kazzy and stay well

X

[Eddie49]

Hi Kazzy, One of the worst aspects of anxiety is the feeling that you can do nothing about it and it is 'you' or your fault. But it isn't. You are out of kilter/balance at the moment. Have you tried breathing techniques? To be effective they have to be practiced regularly every day, even when not feeling anxious. The problem is that when we feel better, and you will, we forget to do the practices that helped get us there. Look up the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Or Box Breathing. I also bought myself an acupressure mat which I feel helps. It can be a bit painful when you first use it but use a tee shirt at first when laying on it. I would now not be without it and use it for about twenty minutes a day. Good luck, you will get there.

[Singwell]

Oh Kazzy - I'm right there now so please don't feel stupid or blame yourself! Something changed for me a couple of weeks ago and it's absolutely thrown me. I'm getting waves of anxiety, bursting into tears, catastrophising, the LOT! I just spoke to our practice nurse, who was very understanding. I think the important thing is to get help with sifting out - what is a response and what is physics happening that is causing the worry. Mine is a new behaviour in my.body - maybe you have something like this? Or is it something that has built up?

[Danceawaytheblues]

Many people here understand what you are going through Kazzy. I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia many, many years ago. I use to feel the same way, but Peony4575 has hit the nail on the head. So much help, love and great advice from people here for you. Great advice from Paulbounce as well. You can do this, one day at a time. Sending you <3

[cat55]

Hi Kazzy, I really empathise with you regarding anxieties running out of control. I had 2 sessions of CBT 4 and 5 years ago, but at the moment I'm struggling too. I have looked at Anxiety.co.uk and wondering if the Headspace you can access there is useful. I know I need to do something but I keep dithering. I do hope that you can access some help that will be useful to you, as it is such a horrible way to feel. I hope you find a way forward. My best wishes to you. Kath

[Auriculaire]

I have suffered on and off from anxiety attacks for no apparent reason for years. Since I have been taking magnesium taurate regularly every day these have completely stopped. Magnesium is calming.

[Bennera513]

First, thank you for posting. I and many on this board are in the same position, so I am sure to read everyone's responses to pick up on the support and ideas that I may need to hear and be aware of.

Similar to Steve, I have found a certain set of specific thoughts/approaches to be helpful. Some of it is rooted in a gentle Stoic doctrine.....The obstacle is the way.....based on the idea that resistance to what is can be the source of suffering. Learning the three A's helps in this regard....Awareness, Acknowledgement, Acceptance. Be brave enough to sit with these feelings and thoughts quietly and not judging, inquiring within to gather more familiarization. Do this repeatedly over time and you'll see how dynamic and ever changing your perspectives truly are. Once aware of the ever shifting patterns I've realized my 'panic' waves are really just passing clouds....Don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes,....but you have to be willing to wait it out with the supreme faith that the Sun WILL be coming out before long.

Setting goals for myself that require some bravery but which have guard rails for quick escape sets my mind at ease and allows me to prove to myself that the fear is the only thing holding me back. For example, I am a cyclist with PAF and lots of ectopics. If I bike from the house in one direction, I go straight down a long hill that would be difficult to climb if my heart went wonky and anxiety took hold. But if I instead tackle the 1 mile climb right out the door, I have found I will have a flurry of palps and some trepidation but I'm also compelled to make it to the top of the climb. At any point I can choose to do a u-turn and coast safely home in retreat. The suggestion to tour your garden or to walk to the end of the block sounds perfect. You wouldn't be seeking to distract yourself so much as learning to focus your awareness on the myriad things happening in the world around you and not on the barrage of worrying thoughts.

Having said that, building confidence that you have covered all the bases you can control will help set your mind at ease and free you to focus on the positives and expect optimistic outcomes. I.E., pill in pocket strategy, emergency contact and full notes in your cell phone, full work-up with providers you trust, even living will/trust....Making peace with any feared outcome frees you from the fear that it would come to pass.....?

[Aegean56]

The six points of contextual therapy by Dr. Manuel Zane: Point #1: EXPECT, ALLOW, AND ACCEPT THAT FEAR WILL ARISE.

Because of past experiences, fear is triggered automatically by the phobic situation and by thoughts of it. Trying to fight fear only makes the fear worse, activates the intense physical symptoms, and leads to spiraling fear and panic. Point #1 shifts you from fighting panic towards accepting its inevitable appearance during your first few practice sessions. Once you begin practicing the Six Points, you will find that your panic goes away over time. But when you first start to practice, it's important that you allow the panic and symptoms to happen - don't fight them. That then allows you to go on to the next points.

Point 2: WHEN FEAR COMES, STOP, WAIT, AND LET IT BE.

Once fear arises, you usually expect the worst and automatically think about and prepare for anticipated disasters. This makes the fear worse. Point #2 seeks to slow or stop these fear-generating processes. By learning to wait, you discover that the expected dangers will not happen and that the panicky feelings will subside. The sooner you stop and wait, the faster the fear symptoms will go away. More effective ways of coping with fear and panic then become possible.

Point #3: FOCUS ON AND DO MANAGEABLE THINGS IN THE PRESENT.

Alone in the phobic situation, you concentrate on and react, to thoughts and imagery of dangers, most of which are not happening right then but you anticipate them. This involvement with future dangers makes fear worse and causes mental and physical stress. Point #3 guides you towards concrete, familiar activities in the present which lowers fear. These manageable activities may include talking, reading, writing, singing, counting, observing reality, snapping a rubberband on your wrist, feeling the textures of surfaces. taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, and relaxing systematically.

Point #4: LABEL YOUR LEVEL OF FEAR FROM O - 10. WATCH IT GO UP AND DOWN.

To help you cope better and discover what makes your fear better and worse, you are encouraged to observe and study changes in your levels of fear. A level of 10 means that fear is judged by you as almost unbearable, and 0 means that it is absent. From these observations, you begin to realize that fear goes up and down and does not just run wild once it appears. Factors in your life, including your own thinking and activities, cause your fear to go up and down. When you monitor your fear, your fear then becomes less mysterious, and more manageable as it is more realistically understood. Also. you become able to communicate important aspects of your internal experience and therefore feel less alone and more hopeful.

Point #5 FUNCTION WITH FEAR. APPRECIATE YOUR ACHIEVEMENT.

You can function with anxiety. You can speak and perform with anxiety. We say this because many people with a phobia think they have to stop functioning once they see the first symptom of fear. You can function with some fear (you can speak even with fear symptoms). When you complete Point #5, usually through much hard work and practice, you will have changed considerably. The appearance of fear in the phobic situation no longer implies that panic and dysfunction must follow.

Point #6: EXPECT, ALLOW, AND ACCEPT THAT FEAR WILL REAPPEAR.

All learning, including learning to change phobic thinking and behavior, is always an up-and-down process. When you learned to ride a bike, you had good and bad moments, but overall you were developing skills and getting better. It's the same with overcoming a phobia. Setbacks must be accepted as part of learning; of getting better. Point #6 tries to prepare you for up and downs. As you learn to understand and cope with setbacks, you make progress.

[The_Lord_is_with_Us]

I had extreme acute Generalized Anxiety over 20 years ago. Had tons of tests. Had all kind of physical manifestations: Adrenaline surging feeling .... tunnel vision ... loss of balance ... muscle twitches ... tension and pain ... hot areas on face ... no sleep while mind churning ... worried about my loved ones ... on and on.

They wanted me on SSRI meds for life, but I refused. With research and study, I figured out how to put it in recession without them.

Calm the 'fear'. It's a huge part of it. Quit thinking in 'black' and 'white' .... 'all' or 'nothing'. There's huge shades of grey area in between the two extremes that always needs consideration.

A hobby of any sort really helped me. Just get involved and interested in any daily activity. Mine was art and photography .. and selling it online. You know you've found a good one when you're doing it and time flies by without even realizing it ... you're so engrossed and focused.

Meditate, it helps calm down you systems and helps you sleep. I listened to guided meditation/hypnosis CD's by Glenn Harold, the UK hypnotist. Drink calming teas ... and take calming supplements. There's dozens of them. For example, magnesium is involved in nearly 400 enzymatic actions in the body, but it also has a general calming effect and stabilizes heart rhythm.

Once I discovered what anxiety is ... and that it couldn't really hurt me (paper tiger) it faded away, for the most part. But ... I've been put to the test with AFIB ... and so far doing fine despite its recent return and more procedures.

I have no doubt that you will find, like I did, that anxiety is overblown and easier to defeat and live with than you could ever imagine. Good Luck!

[10Snut]

Walk to another room and back. Just get moving. Each step lets you know all is well. Start a rythem you a comfortable with. Easy and slow. But do something. It is a start. Bless you and may the new years be one of joy and happiness.

[10Snut]

Know we all have those feeling. They are not good but anything you can do walk to other room, sing song, stand instead of sit, sit instead of lying in bed. All a start. Start New Yr with thought I am going to get better. Find a groove.