CONDOLENCES TO ALL SUFFERING A LOSS.......

[chrysalis8x]

"And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (somewhere in Matthew?)

As long as you remember them--and what and who you were in their physical presence--they are there with you. Not the same, surely, but comforting nonetheless, at least to me.

I was emotionally and physically shattered when my youngest brother (who suffered from a devastating mental illness) passed away suddenly at age 55. That was over 20 years ago, and there are days when it hurts as if it happened yesterday. He loved to laugh, and to this day, I begin every day with two things: laughter and music (preferably from the throat of a bird). May it always be so.

DO NOT STAND AT MY GRAVE AND WEEP (Mary Elizabeth Frye)

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

[10gingercats]

Why are you sending this to our AF site?

[doodle68 in reply to 10gingercats]

I am with you on this on Gingercats I am not sure reminders of our mortality are appropriate on a support site for people with various heart conditions, there are memorial sites for that kind of thing. ....

[chrysalis8x in reply to 10gingercats]

Gingercats and Doodles....apologies.....it was offered with the purest intention to so many of those who seem to be suffering personal losses, or memories which may have strongly surfaced over the past Holy Day season. I thoughtlessly never considered the possibility that it might be misconstrued. Thank you both for your candor.

[Buffafly]

Thank you, a very timely quote, as I discovered on my birthday a few days ago that my dear cousin, who was very close to me as I have no siblings, had died six months ago but no one in my family (they all live in another country and contact with my cousin had been sporadic because of her poor health) had thought to tell me. I was very upset on both counts and I am grateful that someone has taken thought for those of us who have had sad news at a 'happy' season. This is an extra burden when one is struggling mentally and physically with AF and other conditions.

[Pikaia]

This is one of my favourite poems.

[Finvola]

Beautiful poem which I find appropriate and touching and I find a reminder of my mortality to be a reality check - rather like looking in the mirror and sighing. If AF has taught me anything, it is to grasp every day and the potential which it offers.

Bereavement on top of AF is a terrible burden which has happened to some of our members and they have posted about it recently.

Thank you for posting chrysalis - may you find peace and comfort in such memories of your brother.

[chrysalis8x]

I totally understand the basis of your view, Badger25. However, Gingercats and Doodle both make valid points. As you know, I'm fairly new to HU and have searched other forums for a 'home.' It seems 'one size does NOT fit all.' Sigh-h-h-h-h.....trying for a lifetime to fit my eclectic 'round' peg into the linear 'square' hole has left me wrinkled, fuzzy-brained, somewhat toothless and weary. 'Nevertheless, I persist.' (with thanks to Senator Elizabeth Warren).

[chrysalis8x]

Do you have a blog? If so, I would like to know of it.

[Buffafly]

There were 142 replies to cbsrbpm's posts about depression, eating problems and bereavement, so I can't understand why there are complaints about this one?

[JaneFinn]

Thank you chrysalis 💜

I found your comments both thoughtful and uplifting. And I feel for you over the memory and loss of your brother... some griefs stay with us. Sharing them can help others feel less alone. Xx

[chrysalis8x]

Thank you, Jane.....as well as collective gratitude to all who posted. Neuro-optometric rehab has left me with a bit of 'brain fog,' and I missed individual acknowledgements. Apologies.

[irene75359]

The beauty (and I use the words carefully) of this site is that on the whole contributions are carefully considered and do sometimes go off-topic, but it enhances (for me) the well rounded opinion that one may get from the multitude of contributions. I say this in thanks to the many who contacted me in my recent traumas. Thank you all, and thank you chrysalis8x .

[chrysalis8x in reply to irene75359]

Empathetic hug from across the pond.

[Hidden]

This poem will always move me to tears. The second of my four sons, aged nine at the time, read it at the graveside, in the dappled sunlight of a July day, deep in the Northamptonshire countryside twelve years ago, when I buried my daughter, his sister.

That afternoon is forever seared in my memory.

Thank you.

[Moonriver]

What a fantastic poem. I read it when my father died three years ago and it was so positive. Beautiful.