How do you cope with the waiting?

[EvFC]

The waiting at every step is creating a level of stress I am finding hard to deal with. The PSMA scan my husband had scheduled on Wednesday was pushed to next week because they are waiting on tracer. Honestly, it feel like two steps forward and one step back all the time. We wanted to discuss the results with the radiation oncologist at the Monday appointment, but can’t now. We will have to schedule another appointment which will add more time. Scheduling with specialists often take two weeks and I feel like we don’t have that time to spare. A part of me just wants to say, do whatever is quickest and get it out! But I also know with my husband’s risk level there is a high risk of recurrence so considering all the options is important. How did you cope with all these delays? It feels like forever since the CT scan first showed a possible cancer and I feel like the cancer is just gaining ground. 😢

[positive-thinking]

Trust me I know what you are feeling. It is terrifying and such an unpredictable roller coaster ride from day to day ! I have no answers as I also have not found a way to get past the waiting . Seems like it is part of the future with this disease . Waiting on tests, calls, scans, blood work, answers, next steps ....hugs to you and hope you get some answers soon. All I know is for my own sanity I'm trying to take this one day at a time and realize that nothing happens fast enough and me fretting is not helping myself or going to change anything. Unfortunately our health care system seems over loaded

[EvFC in reply to positive-thinking]

Thank you. I appreciate the empathy. 🙏🏻

[Tall_Allen]

I went to a psychotherapist and learned how to practice mindfulness. I took classes every day for 3 months before it became a habit. I now can't imagine life without it.

[EvFC in reply to Tall_Allen]

I have done mindfulness meditation in the past. I find myself resisting it right now, because I don’t want to sit with my thoughts. This is a good reminder that it’s probably what I need. Thank you.

[Maxone73]

Mindfulness, meditation, exercise, work...whatever can keep you focused on something else. I had to take some sleeping pills at the beginning, for like 2 months, then I was able to stop and now I sleep normally during the night. Expect some "overload" in your brain when you get close to test days, even just for a bloodwork, but it becomes manageable.

[EvFC in reply to Maxone73]

Thank you. I think you’re right, that part of it is accepting that there is going to be stress through this process. It will come and go. I find myself trying to resist it and hold it back, but I think that makes it worse sometimes.

[GAdrummer]

My mother pulled weeds in the yard whenever she was frustrated by all the stress. I play percussion with a band to focus on something else and vent my anger.

[EvFC in reply to GAdrummer]

Those are great options. I think maybe I need something more physical to burn some of this nervous energy.

[Mgtd]

I am not sure if this works for you but I find physical activity, keeping busy with my car projects and honestly this next one really has helped me deal with the anxiety of waiting, etc.

I realize I have no control over the situation so I do not let the stuff bother me. I do not know if that is mindfulness or not. This next part may sound terrible but it has helped me throughout my life and it is an example of this mental attitude.

As a young man I was exposed to aerial combat and to do that day in and day out you simply accepted the fact that you may die and that honestly relieved the stress and actually made you better at your job. I carried that same thinking into this cancer issue.

I just take one day at a time and do not worry about things I have no control over.

Hope that helps.

[tn12]

Tell yourself the outcome will be the same whether or not you choose to focus on it.

[j-o-h-n]

I whittle away the time by thinking about of all the wonderful ladies in my past life......... and I do remember that:

Patients is a virtue,

Have it if you can.

Never in a woman.

Always in a man.

(I think I just lost a lot of friends)

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n

[NanoMRI]

Adding to some fine comments, this is a long journey. I am nearly ten years in. I have learned days, weeks, and likely a couple months don't matter. All the best!

[timotur]

Dealing with delays is tough, even waiting for simple blood tests causes me anxiety. Staying active and busy helps, working out, playing sports, watching a favorite series, anything to look forward to every day helps the time go by faster. And as far as worrying, I remember a military man next to me when I commented about the rough flight, “you can worry if you want to”, meaning, go ahead, but it won’t do any good.

[NewGame]

I’ve gotten much better at cooking and gardening - it takes me to another head space I can control