tonight none of us are alone. - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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tonight none of us are alone.

Darryl profile image
DarrylPartner
26 Replies

None of us are alone. Whatever agony, pain, sadness, or loneliness you feel is acknowledged as your genuine personal experience. No “post” can dispel or invalidate you in any way. What we as a large community can and should do is use our many thousands to disperse whatever negativity touches you. Tonight you are not alone. You and I and all of us here enter this evening together and will emerge by morning, together. Safe and cared for by physical strangers and spiritual intimates. Sharing our desire for better health, more happiness and a warm river of love .

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Darryl profile image
Darryl
Partner
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26 Replies
6357axbz profile image
6357axbz

Thanks Darryl 🙃and

tango65 profile image
tango65

Thanks, Darryl.

noahware profile image
noahware

Thanks, Darryl, that was beautifully expressed. As one who has been experiencing a good bit of physical and emotional pain recently it really hits home.

I would like to add a thought, something I have been striving towards for many years (with limited success). And that is self-compassion.

Each of us is not just the "I" or the "me" that is experiencing physical and/or emotional pain. Each of us is also the "I" or the "me" that has the capacity to give compassion, caring and love to others experiencing physical and/or emotional pain.

Many of us are half-decent at giving these things to others, but are utter failures at giving them to ourselves. Instead, we can tend towards guilt, self-criticism, self-pity, bitterness and regret. How could we have let ourselves get so sick at such a "young" age, and regress in our prior abilities to be go-getters in the world of work, productivity and creativity?

"Why me?" we might ask. Well, why NOT me? Far worse things have happened to far younger and far more vibrant and creative people. Those of us who have grown kids and loving spouses really have to consider ourselves winners in this thing we call "life." At the very least, we succeeded in the most basic of evolutionary terms even if we were not great successes in our careers or social relationships.

Can we also succeed in giving unconditional compassion, caring and love to OURSELVES? It can be difficult, but I have found that dealing with my pain goes much better when I can detach to some degree from being the "me" that feels the pain and try to identify with the "me" that is simply being present for the one in pain. After all, who could be closer and in a better position to give support to me, other than me? Wherever I go, there I am.

To paraphrase a suggestion given nearly a century ago by the author of a certain "big book," I need to look towards spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. I'm the kind of guy who can beat up on myself for not being perfect at not beating up on myself!

So while I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, I think this is a fair one to make: be compassionate, forgiving and kind to yourself.

Gearhead profile image
Gearhead

Darryl, Very well written! Thank you for all your work for MaleCare and this site.

Yin-Yin profile image
Yin-Yin

Ditto and thank you, Darryl! And a Happy New Year to all!

d3is4me profile image
d3is4me

THANKS DARRYL

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

great post Darryl , thanks hope ‘23 is a great year for you and your loved ones.

❤️❤️❤️

Boywonder56 profile image
Boywonder56

Thanks for positive thoughts and have a happy new year.....hope all in this group see next year .....bw

DaveBSD profile image
DaveBSD

None of us are alone.

Oh, how I wish that was true.

margretrburns profile image
margretrburns in reply toDaveBSD

I am reading this right now. I'm not physically with you but we have connected.

Daddyishealing profile image
Daddyishealing in reply toDaveBSD

My dms are open if you want someone to talk to tough night.. I feel ya xo

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply toDaddyishealing

❤️❤️❤️

OldGuysRule profile image
OldGuysRule in reply toDaveBSD

Dave, personally I’m a Christ follower. Although I’m dealing with advance Stage 4 pc and the side effects of all the ADT meds that go with it, I’m at peace and never alone.

I recommend it.

Daddyishealing profile image
Daddyishealing

Beautifully said Darryl! I needed that. So appreciated

dockam profile image
dockam

Mahalo nui loa Bruddah Darryl

Very eloquent, we PCa Band of Brothers, this Ohana, will love and support all out there. Any of us here is just a PM away from anyone who has a question, or needs a Virtual hug or to vent your frustrations to.

Happy New Year to y'all

Hau'oli Makihiki Hou

Peace be with you

Namaste

We're gonna Rock 2023🤙

Randy

9mmm profile image
9mmm

Thank you, Darryl!! I never feel alone, even if it's only me!!

I DO have a daughter, that shares all this journey with me. She doesn't know all of it, someday she will.

But, these forums give me knowledge, hope, and friendship! I have seen several requests for donations, but always when I have things to do. All these Dr. Appts, local, and hours away, keep me really busy. But, I'm going to donate!! I have them starred. I have learned so much, and gotten so much support. Thank you!! So much!!

frankie08033 profile image
frankie08033

Very Well said Darryl.

OldGuysRule profile image
OldGuysRule

Awesome One-eyed-Jack, I grew in the Dairy business with my Dad and brothers in SC. I’ve pulled s few calves myself.

Happy New Year!

doc1947g profile image
doc1947g

Happy New Year, Health.

pdold profile image
pdold

Thank you Darryl, I'm entering year 5 and my friends, brothers and sisters in this group have helped enormously in helping me to maintain a smile through difficult times. In Yiddish, Its called a Mitzvah, A worthy deed. Thank you all and I wish all a happy and healthy year.

PDold

joeydashoe profile image
joeydashoe

THANKS Darryl

garyjp9 profile image
garyjp9

Very kind, Darryl. Thank you. Happy New Year.

GrizzlyMama profile image
GrizzlyMama

Thank you for posting.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach

Darryl, thank you for helping to provide a platform for us to share our desire for better health, happiness and love!!!

Best to you and yours in the coming year.

*** donate at: malecare.org/donate ***

Runner4000 profile image
Runner4000

Thanks, Darryl, for reminding us that in addition to the very helpful medical information on this site there are additional, deep, difficult-to-describe aspects imbued in the site--support received, the opportunity to contribute and assist, social togetherness, emotions expressed, spiritual aspects, occasional humor, etc.. These intangibles impact each of us in different ways at different times, but nevertheless can sometimes be as important--or even more important--than the medical information provided.

ARIES29 profile image
ARIES29

Well said Daryl, Thankyou.

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