What to do: Stage 4 prostate cancer... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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What to do

youwiln profile image
18 Replies

Stage 4 prostate cancer..

It is a very lonely life.. Nothing to look forward to except for a little rise from my meds. I do not want to personally share my misery with my relatives

I am told that there will not be any improvement.I do not have enough energy to take on any time consuming projects...Poker is a great distraction and does not take a lot of energy,but, it does take funding.

Who Knows 👍👍👍

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youwiln profile image
youwiln
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18 Replies
Fightinghard profile image
Fightinghard

hey Uwilin

Time to do a mental reset. Yes the future may be cloudy. It is for most of us.

But you are still here today. Go make the most of today. Focus on living in the present. Not wasting a good day today depressed about what may or may not come tomorrow.

Find someone that you can help or be a shoulder for them to lean on.

You still have a lot to offer. Do it!!

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

well …… for sure you have come to the right place brother. All us aPCa guys here are croakers on this buss ( Firesign Theater, we’re all bozo’s on this buss ) … everyone of us “ gets it “ . Most here have no illusions about our eminent demise.

We can all sit around wringing our hands, down in the mouth , crawling with angst ….. or instead….. , many of us are deciding to focus on our QOL bucket list and / or doing things with our family - loved ones. It’s a “ do it “ now thing too. Most guys are ambulatory and can get out. Even me ….ADT has crippled me and I use wheeled chairs and a etrike to get around. It’s more complicated - difficult for me to get out , but even I manage to get myself out.

Look for our QOL posts here , we get out and post about it to encourage others ….. you can get out yourself and post a QOL experience , with pictures .. of your own to encourage others too. We also focus on “ foodie “ fun as well ….speaking of dishes we’ve found ….. making our own culinary porn and sharing that too yayahahahaya yayahahahaya. The whole point of all this , is that if you get out …a walk , picnic in park, coastal or mountain adventures etc … it enriches your life and takes your mind off “ things “ .

Sometimes I decide to use some Xanax if I’m feeling too much angst or even panicky, especially if stuck at home …… and many members on here swear by the new generation of psyc drugs that help level them off and make them feel dramatically better. You can speak with your pcp or palliative care team for a prescription or two to try …..it might be just the ticket to lift you to get on that ole QOL fun train yourself .

Anytime you feel like you need to vent or need “ like “ company …just get on here and be with / socialize with your brothers.

Also …..keep an eye out for monte1111 …. Sounds like both you are in the same boat together, maybe he could share how he copes as well.

Love ya brother

❤️❤️❤️

Search recent posts by myself or Dockam to see some QOL type posts.

Benkaymel profile image
Benkaymel in reply toKaliber

Great post, Kaliber. Uplifting for us all.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply toBenkaymel

❤️❤️❤️

dockam profile image
dockam in reply toKaliber

A Wonderful, Insightful reply and Mahalo for the Shout Out Bruddah.

We all here are going thru varying degrees of Depression and the QoL posts are our lil way to show that there is still a Life even with a Terminal disease.

I'm 8 years in on ADT and heading for Radiation, as 39 Chemos hasn't tamed the PCa.

But, I don't post about the "sads" which I do have.

Kaliber and I et al have taken up posting our Food Porn (meals we made or had), trips outta Town, and anything positive, not dwelling on the BS going on inside.

A Change of venue can do wonders for one's Mood.

Exercise is wonderful to offset the ADT side effects and is also a mood enhancer :-)

I will post random YouTube videos when a statement triggers a song; eg "Accentuate the Positive, Put a Little Love in your heart, What the World needs now, Make em Laugh.

Been keeping my posts pretty light and Irreverent and Yes we are here for you to vent and "rage against the dying of the Light" Dylan Thomas.

I'll exit with this video, which I've posted before: youtu.be/I_CE7GqqrvY

Live Long and Prosper

Fight on, Laugh on, Smile on

Randy

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply todockam

well said buddy …❤️❤️❤️

dockam profile image
dockam in reply toKaliber

💙💙💙

Izzygirl1 profile image
Izzygirl1

You are not alone... many kind people here that listen and advise. You can share your story here.... we understand. Sending you some (((HUGS))) and love! ❤️

noahware profile image
noahware

I can relate, because as I become more anemic, my energy levels are dropping further. My way of dealing with low moods has always been through physical activity, and now when I attempt that I can feel worse, not better!

Beyond the good suggestions of doing a mental reset and pursing QoL activities, it may be time to seek out a good therapist who can help with either talk therapy or psych meds, or both. That said, I need to take my own advice, and get some help!

You could keep looking for distractions like poker, but maybe one that requires pennies rather than dollars? For myself, I need to find new ways to be productive and/or creative that require enough energy to get my mind engaged but not so much energy that I am aware of being exhausted. It's a challenge for sure.

Be aware that the biggest thing for mental health of aging men is some form of good social relationship. My own relationship with my wife is good but not great, so I need more. This forum is a start, but we need flesh-and-blood contact too. I also I do not want to dump my misery on relatives, but find my part-time job is a good place to dump it on coworkers instead, lol.

When I stop getting out of the house for a few hours a day it is going to be hard times indeed. But we all need that social interaction, so if not getting any, start thinking of ways to do so. Find some guys (or gals) that can make you laugh or who YOU can make laugh.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply tonoahware

great post …❤️❤️❤️

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply toKaliber

here’s a link to the article I referenced

huffpost.com/entry/stage-4-...

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply toCarlosbach

thanks 😁😁😁

Scout4answers profile image
Scout4answers in reply toCarlosbach

Whenever cancer reoccurs, I go in for a tuneup, which is what has allowed this engine to keep running.

Love this!

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply tonoahware

great post. There was an interesting article on huffpost this morning on living with ovarian cancer. A couple of things stood out to me:

“I have been given the gift of life and I intend to max it out”. I wish I had said that, but since I didn’t I can still heartily endorse the thought . I’ve outlived the drs estimate and I’m not done yet. Spent some time yesterday kicking, shuffling through, and stomping on leaves. Felt as good as if I were 5 again.

Also, the author writes about reframing her stage 4 cancer as a “chronic” disease. I’ve started noodling on this idea and find it appealing ( much better than being designated for palliative care).

youwiln profile image
youwiln in reply tonoahware

have not heard a lot about pain killers from this group.

I take 40 mg's of oxycodone and 20 mgs of morpine spread over 24 hours.

Because of the relief It improves my mood

Thanks👍

Scout4answers profile image
Scout4answers in reply toyouwiln

How about filling in your bio so we know more about your situation and what you have been through.

jjpeabody profile image
jjpeabody

Greetings youwiln, if you haven't try keeping a journal and a "there are no problems only solutions" approach. It helps get your "worries and problems" out of your head and down on paper, and it is a plan for action. Try a good church, and don't get bogged down with all the reasons not to go, you will meet many good people and possible social groups etc. It's like walking thru a door, we have no idea what adventure or journey is on the other side but it may change or lives. Maybe something like Xanax periodically could help to initially open that door. The helpful replies on this board are amazing. We ALL live and die so you're never alone in that, and at this board you are never alone in your current situation in life. Best of luck youwiln.

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen

You may benefit from a prostate cancer support group. Use Google to find ones nearby.

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