I Call 911 On My Tumor: “I’m being... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

21,056 members26,262 posts

I Call 911 On My Tumor

Cisco99 profile image
9 Replies

“I’m being abused by a tumor,” I say.

“We’ll send a squad car directly,” the voice says.

Cop arrives, wants to know what the deal is.

Tumor and I both talk at the same time.

“It lives inside me and whispers terrible things,” I say.

“He is the most awful, awful person,” the tumor says.

“Well, I gotta take one of you in,” says the cop.

“City policy,” he adds.

“Well, take the tumor,” I say. “It wants to kill me!”

“Any truth to that?” the cop wants to know.

Tumor leans forward and confidentially says,

“This man hasn’t changed his underwear in three days.”

Cop grabs me roughly, reads me my rights and cuffs me.

“No, I’m the good one!” I cry. “This is my house!”

Cop lowers my head as I slide into the back seat.

“This is so messed up,” I complain.

“You’ll learn the meaning of messed up,

if you don’t shut up right now,” the cop says.

“It’s not right,” I whisper, as we speed away.

Tumor waves So Long from the kitchen.

Written by
Cisco99 profile image
Cisco99
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
9 Replies
Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

I’d like to get some of whatever it is that you are having ........

Don’t worry maaaaaaaaan ..... that chit will wear off in a while and you’ll be OK in the morning.

Peace brother ✌️

Pssssst: only do half a tab next time.

Cisco99 profile image
Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber

That is excellent advice! Thanks

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Cisco99

💪💪💪 👍👍

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

Dang dooooode .... Change that nasty underwear too.

addicted2cycling profile image
addicted2cycling in reply to Kaliber

Dang, no need to change, just make the inny side the outy side and good for another 3 days.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to addicted2cycling

Yayahahahaya. Yayahahahaya ewwwwwwwwwww !! .... very practical too ..... my kinda guy !

✌️✌️✌️

Cisco99 profile image
Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber

ALLEGEDLY nasty. I have learned to my sorrow not to believe everything my tumor says.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Cisco99

Yea tumors are weird like that ..... I tell mine to stop it, and get out , all the time. but they just never listen.

Kinda like a 3 year old with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich ..... I’m the sandwich yayahahahaya yayahahahaya.

Peace brother ✌️

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

Time to call a good lawyer, that's police brutality........ON US....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 12/06/2019 11:59 PM EST

You may also like...

It's the tumor stupid

stages. In August 2021 a significant part of the tumor was cooked with \\"Focal Laser...

Cavernous Tumor & Rising PSA

seemed like a sinus infection but was really a tumor in his sinus cavity and behind his eye socket...

Keytruda and brain tumors

MRI revealed tumors on his skull, the dura, and soft tissue of his brain. None of the tumors are...

Calling it quits with pulverizing my prostate.

RP versus radiation to deal with primary tumors —any thoughts?

schools Of thoughts on how to deal with primary tumors in MPC. My husband has an enlarged...