Hello everyone I have a question my daughter who has adhd and depression just asked me if she can start letting her wear boy clothes

[Elizabethdela]

Should I just keep her happy and say yes .

[Justpeace]

I would delve in a little more deeply and find out why she wants to wear "boy clothes", and what does boy clothes mean to her. Jeans and t-shirts? Does she not like dresses, or girly girl clothes. Do you have a tomboy on your hand?

[Onthemove1971]

Thanks for sharing your personal issue with us.

If your child is not in therapy for dealing with the depression and ADHD I strongly encourage it.

Every family has a different dynamic.. is this something that just came up or have you seen signs of this her whole life?

I guess what I am asking is teenagers struggle with self-identify, do you think this is just a clothes thing or something larger? There are many resources out there for both parents and children. A good psychologist can help steer you guys in the right direction.

Parenting is so hard.. hope you find answers for her and help you learn how to deal with all she is going through so you can support her.

We are always here for you. Take care

[sherishu]

Yes. Clothes are just clothes, and everyone needs to develop their own style. Therapy is still a good idea, given the other issues you mentioned. But are you really considering forcing her to wear clothes she feels bad wearing? Not a hill to die on.

[WickNeo]

Yes! They’re cheaper, probably fit better and you can use shopping for clothes as a bonding experience. I wore my brothers’ hand me downs when I was little, since I was tall and thin. The fabrics last longer and it’s more comfortable than the forced sexuality of girls clothes.

It takes a lifetime for some girls to grow into their bodies. I would not make a big deal out of it. ADHD and depression are hard enough. Being comfortable gives the feeling of safety.

If you are concerned, get a family therapist or personal psychologist, it’s your issue until your child does something alarming or self harming. Watch her grades. If everything is good then be happy that your child knows what she needs to feel safe.

Good luck on your parenting journey.

[Danseuse]

I’d say yes. She’s dealing with enough already. If this makes her feel better than why not. My daughter is a Tom Boy and has never liked anything girly. I’ve finally given up trying to make her wear things I like. Just to please me she’d say she’d wear something, I’d purchase it and then she’d never choose to wear it. It was a waste of money. She’s 12 now and wears mostly plain t-shirts and leggings.

[ConcernedCaliMom]

Yes, let her wear whatever she wants to make her happy & confident!!!

[Boymomz]

Yes, you want to pick and choose your battles and if you are not doing it already, counseling can be helpful.