Relentless

I may well have only had T for 6 weeks or so but today has been horrendous, I honestly don't know how some of you cope. I am strong willed but today I just feel like giving up. The tone in my head is screeching, trying to mask it isn't really working that well. My doctor has told me to up my daily does of amytrptaline and I'm just doped and that's just no good I can't function properly at all, I could just break into tears anytime, I feel like a lost soul and it's hard to comprehend living forever more with this God awful Condition.

I just keep telling myself things will improve but can't convince myself they will.

A real tough day today. I hope all who read are having a better day.

Dave

18 Replies

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  • Hi Dave, really sorry to hear you're having such a bad time at the moment. Do you have hearing loss too?. I use a hearing aid which helps me hear the outside world- I have 50% in my affected ear. Because I can hear better it masks the tinnitus more naturally. Worth exploring.

    Sending you hope and strength

    Jane x

  • Hi jane.

    I have hearing loss in my right ear. Not been given a percentage of loss only told that at 47 I have the level of hearing expected from someone who is 60. My T is only on the left hand side at the moment, apparently the left ear is over compensating for the loss in my right ear.just need to keep trying to be positive until I see what audiology can do for me. I just don't think amytrptaline are the right tablets for me , it's just trial and error I presume.

    Dave x

  • Hi Dave-h, it is indeed a most awful thing to have. It will take time for your T to quieten. I have had it for 2 years now and 6 weeks into it I was feeling the same as you, wondering how on earth I could live with it. I was on zopliclone for a few weeks to ensure I slept and was given Mirtazapine 30mg daily to calm my anxiety. Eventually it did begin to quieten and my life is almost as it was before the tinnitus. Have you been referred to NHS audiology yet? I have a hearing aid with masker for slight loss in one ear, and a masker for the other ear. These aids quieten my tinnitus as well as my brain having got used to the noise and so I don't hear it as much. The information on here and the BTA website help to explain it all. Be strong, it will get better. Love Angela xx

  • Hi dave-h1969

    You seem a tough, resilient type of bloke so its at times like this you must try and dig that little bit deeper to overcome these setbacks, I'm sure given time this spike will settle and you'll cope that little bit better in the future, I would suggest going back to your GP to see if there is a different kind of med you can try for the sleep and anxiety worth a shot so nothing to lose

    All of us wonder at times if there is a trigger that brings on these unexpected bouts of noisier than usual T but if we knew that then life would be that much more quieter, so without that answer, we have just got to tough it out, not much comfort I know but we do get the quieter times back for sure so we're always hopeful.

    Hang in there mate chin up.

    Dave.

  • Cheers Dave. It's been a tough day. I'm sure we all have then and more await us. I know I need to be patient and I'm sure things will improve again. U think having a few days being able to cope and nor to much noise lulled me into a false sense of security and it's come back to remind me not to be so smug, lol.

    I will speak to my doctor regarding alternative meds, just have to find one that suits me.

    Thanks for the kind words Dave, really helped.

    All the best.

    Dave

  • Hi Dave, I remember last October when my T started I was absolutely at my wits end, couldn't sleep, struggled with work and ended up on an SRRI med. A few months on, things are slightly more predictable and I'm more reconciled to the situation and things are improving. I'm sure the meds have helped with my natural propensity to panic, it was a big step to go down that path, but if it helps, go for it. I also would recommend getting in-ear white noise generators, I got mine from my audiologist on the NHS. They are glasses for my ears when I'm having bad days, and are a huge help.

    Hang in there mate, it will improve but you just need to take each day as it comes. You'll have cr@p days, but the good days will become more frequent.

    Cheers, Steve

  • Thanks for those reassuring words Steve. I realise I am only at the start of a long road with good days and bad. As Dave G rightly points out I am pretty strong willed and don't like to be beaten with anything so to struggle with this and the emotions it causes has been a huge shock to me. Never been one for forums before but I admit talking to others sufferers with this condition has been off great help and i thank you all. Hopefully one day I can also help others from my experiences. Onwards and upwards.

    Cheers

    Dave

  • Yay Steve, lovely to hear you're doing a bit better with the old T. We get there in the end in our own way, sort of lol. Take care, best wishes.

    Xene

  • Thanks Xene, it's still a case of managing it day to day as I'm sure we all know; we've all got to find the best way of dealing with it I guess. I still get suckered by it though when I've had a good day and begin to believe things are improving, then my ears go all sci-fi soundtrack on me.... 😤

  • Dave, hang in there, most people have been through or go through these periods when trying to come to terms with their "T". I once resorted to smashing my head against a wall which of course taught me that walls are hard, my head is softer and it bleeds a lot !! plus it made no difference to the noise in my head.

    The only way forward is to learn to relax and accept this alien noise as life. Only then will you start to be able to ignore it and live again. Trust me I have been there on many occasions.

    It might go away, it might not, there might eventually be a cure, there might not but in the grand scheme of things "T" is many times better than alternative possibilities. Learn to think like that.

    Take care and chin up.

    Oh, one more salient piece of advise, do not burden your loved ones with it. They will not understand and there is nothing that they can do to make you feel better so they just end up feeling guilty and resentful.

  • Trust me Dave - things do get easier. I was in a totally bad way 2 and a half years ago when I first got my tinnitus - I felt my life was just not worth living. You could do with reading some success stories - are you a member of the BTA - if so you will get the Quiet Magazine which contains success stories in every issue. Is there a Support Group in your area and perhaps see if you can get some counselling. All these things helped me plus this forum and all the information that the BTA provides on their information sheets. It`s early days for you but you will get your life back eventually - I did. Lynne

  • hi Dave my heart goes out to you i have been in your place at first i was very scared and frightened i first turned to the Bta and believe me they are with you and you will get lots of support on here and make friends have you been referred to your local ENT ? which your doctor should have done once you learn how to deal with it the better you will cope do you have a smart phone ? if so and i have mentioned this before there's lots of free Apps you can download to mask your tinnitus other things you can try even if you have never done them before is get into meditation or find some relaxation exercises and mindfulness is another thing you can try all these take time and your effort to get into them but with practice you will find they help can i ask are you working at the moment? if so i hope your getting support i hope this helps and things will change take care David

  • Hi David.

    Thanks for the message, I have seen ENT and now referred to audiology. I am trying different apps to help when things are bad. Nor a big fan of white noise st. Find rain and water sounds help. Going to try relaxation apps etc. I am working and work will allow me time off but to be honest I'd rather be at work and concentrate on that sometimes it helps sometimes not. I do have a pretty stressful job at times so trying not to let things get to me. Today is slightly better than yesterday, hopefully tomorrow improves on today. I am prepared to try anything that may help, it's a long road ahead for us all answer helps one may not help another but I do take heart from messages and advice from this forum. I will keep us all updated.

    Many thanks

    Dave

  • Hi Dave you sound more positive glad to hear it you will enjoy life again honestly just give it time if it helps send me a private message on here and i will give you my email only if you want to some members on the forums keep in touch just to chat away from the forums as to suport one another take care Dave

  • Hi Dave I have just read your post from 2 months ago, and wondered how you are coping now. I am 5 weeks with constant T, sometimes coping, sometimes not.

  • Hi.

    I've not been on the forum much recently, just crazy busy at work, this does help keeping the mind busy. I really struggled at first, couldn't imagine living with this noise forever. I won't lie it's hard. I got some apps for my phone and listened to them. Bought a noisee machine but found a radio on low at bedtime helped me as silence just makes things worse. I spoke with my doctor who gave me some tablets to help sleep as this was my main issue, being tired and stressed does not help T. I am just trying to get through each day one at a time and concentrate on not letting this beat me, I am a strong willed guy but I'll be honest I've sobbed my heart out with this but just try and be determined. People on this forum are great and their positivity and knowledge helped me to be positive. I have good days and some not so good days, I just take this as the norm for now. I am still waiting for my audiology appointment to see if that helps me. Please try and be positive things will improve. Hope this helps. Keep in touch.

    Dave.

  • Hi Dave, I have found reading the posts inspiring, saddened to hear your are still struggling, but admiring your resilence. It feels like someone is torturing you, but no one can see it. I'm wondering if I could get back to work, but I am a support worker, and not sure I would cope helping other people when I am fighting my own battle. My other job is as a musician, and I have had to put that on hold.

    I see the consultant on Monday, so I'm hoping I will know more then. Meditation music on You Tube helps me sleep. My partner has put a track on the iPod and on repeat so it goes all night, it really helps. Silence is a killer, you just want peace.

    I fully understand what you are going through, but it appears we are in the early stages, reading some posts, they are all so positive, it does give you hope.

    Take care and keep in touch.

  • Hi Dave

    Just remember the thought you have survived this past 2+months so there is no reason to think you cannot survive the next and the next, and so it goes on, at the very start it does seem like a tough nut to crack but you seem to be coping a little better, the coping will build in strength as the days and week go by, but just remember, don't put yourself under pressure for results it's not like your work, there are no deadlines or time limits to meet, being patient helps but at times being patient seems very distant indeed, we all have good days and suffer bad days but that's the norm with this as you say I'm afraid, when the days are not so good there's always hope the good days will return and sure enough they do.

    Onwards and upwards, as they say, and also another thing is try to keep the stress in the box easier said than done these days but in my case, it does help

    You'll get there.

    Dave.

    .

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