Hello! New here...

[sarah13089]

Hello, my name is Sarah, I'm 28 and from Maine.

I had a melanoma in-situ removed July of this year and 2 more biopsies this week.

I am jumping right in with my biggest struggle being timing and the mental aspect. My partner's father was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer the same day I heard my news, and unfortunately he passed a little over a month ago. I work in healthcare and his family looked to me to be their navigator and I just kind of jumped in and pushed my own internal struggles aside.

But I feel like I've been floating the past couple of months. Putting on more sunscreen, covering up, wearing a hat, downloading an app that shows when UVB is going to be strongest in my area... Things I could control without giving much additional thought.

When I had my follow-up visit on Monday, I was prepared for a spot on my arm to be removed but my dermatologist found another concerning spot, I think the realization, severity and life-long diligence is really starting to set in and become overwhelming. I have many thoughts running through my head and replay the week of my surgery/our visit with his father to create a hospice plan and I'm realizing I need some self care.

Self care is so very important and one of my own steps to honoring that is reaching out, which brought me here to start to verbalize what's been in my head the past ~6 months.

I usually have a decent sense of humor, feeling a little more hum and glum but am starting to search for my voice on how I can be an advocate for melanoma awareness. Honestly, reading everyone's brave and courageous posts has really inspired me to post now.

I want to extend appreciation to each and every one of you who have posted, offered advice, shared your fears, shared your joys and humor, and for everyone on their path to acceptance. I would also like to extend gratitude for reading and being open to my post.

Wishing a very Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Sarah

[pmwalsh]

Thanks for your post! Self care is so important and it’s good you are finding your voice. I was diagnosed in August. I’m still struggling with talking to others about it. In the beginning it helped to talk with supportive co-workers but now that it’s been a few months, it’s hard for me to explain how it’s still affecting me. I either blurt out too much information or keep it to myself. I’m getting my family roll on sunscreen for Christmas from a friend who makes and sells her own organic products. I’ve been joking that it’s going to be a melanoma Christmas but I also want to remind them to wear sunscreen as well as remind them it’s still a big part of me. It’s nice to have this forum and hear from others with similar feelings!

I hope your biopsy came back ok this time. I’ve had 4 atypical moles removed since my surgery in August, and waiting to hear each time is no fun.

[sarah13089 in reply to pmwalsh]

Sometimes I feel like the Scarlett Letter... like one wants to hear about it and I just get this face... I don’t even know how to explain. I’m the “strong” one in my family and it’s been really hard to try and explain that even though it’s gone it’s still super terrifying. I finally convinced my brother to go (he had a black, irregularly shaped mole on his back, like prime spot, right?!) and his dermatologist brushed it off! Thankfully he asked for it to be removed but it furthered my families’ reaction of “oh it’s still just you who has to be worried”. Ah anyhoo.

Does your friend have an Etsy shop or anything? I would love to buy some roll on sunscreen! Folks are not impressed when I hand them goopy zinc to put on

Spots came back precancerous (I’m assuming that’s the same as atypical?!) with unclear margins, so I’ve got to go get more skin scrapped off but it’s better than two more wide exisions! I was honestly so happy to hear the MA, having doctors actually call scares the crap out of me now.

[pmwalsh in reply to sarah13089]

Glad to hear the results were ok! The sunscreen I found is from Wright Family Products. Not sure I’d recommend it as your main sunscreen because being organic the SPF is unknown. But I think it’s nice to have in my purse or a novelty gift item.

It’s hard to find a balance between not wanting to burden others and opening up to ask for help or someone to talk to of you need it.

I was outside this weekend at a Christmas parade and it was warmer than expected so I left my coat in the car. My sunscreen was also in the car and I realized it when it was too late. I spent most of the parade panicking about being in the sun and didn’t enjoy time with my family. My husband was supportive but we met extended family there and I felt like I was an outcast. It’s all in my head but it was still how I felt. I think people don’t know how to ask how you are doing with something like this so it’s on me to remind them it’s still hard. I haven’t found quite the right balance and it depends on the day.

[sarah13089 in reply to pmwalsh]

I so agree with the finding the right balance and it all depends on the day!

I had a similar ahh moment when brunch in the shade behind a building suddenly turned into brunch in the sun!

Sending warm thoughts your way, it is such a hard balance between enjoying those moments and trying not to freak out! Please reach out anytime!