Have you got a CPN?

[catherinem]

I’m beginning to loose count of how many times I’ve been asked this question and the answer is “NO, I don’t have a CPN (community psychiatric nurse) I have a leaflet”.

I was woken this morning at what seemed to be some un-godly hour by a woman from IAPT – that’s Improving Access to Psychological Therapies, yes; I agree the access to psychological therapies definitely needs to be improved. This assessment has been a long time coming, I was first referred to IAPT I think back in May, or June, I can’t remember, I was in a bit of a state, I was referred by a social worker who assessed me along with a CPN to see what support I needed or in reality what they could offer. I was supposed to have this phone assessment over the phone a couple of weeks ago but what I got then was a voice mail from one of her colleagues to say that she was away and that she would call me to tell me when she would call me to arrange a good time to call me to arrange the assessment over the phone. Does that make sense? She also said that I would receive a letter telling me when she would call to arrange the call for the assessment. Over the last couple of days I forgot this so I was abruptly woken this morning and answered lots of questions such as “how often do you feel suicidal – never, not very often, sometimes, often, or frequently?” I also had to explain to her about the OCD side of my TS and how the tics affect me, she didn’t know much about TS. I have been referred to my local GP surgery to have one-to-one CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy); most of the other therapies that they had seemed to either involve computers or large groups of other depressed people. Obviously there’s a waiting list, so I might get there in about 3 months or so.

To be honest I’m feeling pretty s**t at the moment, I called the crisis team the night before last; they also asked me if I had a CPN. Nope. I should have actually called up to try and bring my appointment with my psychiatrist forward, but it seems an enormous task just going downstairs let alone going all the way to Bedworth on the bus - which I would have to as my boyfriend has now been banned from driving for 13 months. It’s now 4.05pm and I’ve only just managed to get dressed, my house is a disgusting mess, dust everywhere, washing up pilling up and a washing machine full of wet laundry that I need to put on a clothes horse to dry. These simple yet essential tasks seem insurmountable. I’m also feeling incredibly alone, at the moment it seems as though the only people who will listen to me are those people who are paid to. I just wish I could close my eyes and sleep and this depression will go.

If you need a CPN you can follow this link to make your own. spoonflower.com/fabric/106619