Losing *TRIGGER WARNING*

[SilentSinger55]

I've been overweight all my life but in October 2018 to March 2019, I took a medication that out me in the actual obese range. I was taken off that medication because of it but the weight didn't come off. I was then put on a different mood stabilizer that had "weight loss affects". I was excited seeing as I was already a recovering bulimic but I still didn't lose any weight. So, about two months ago, I decided to take matters into my own hands and stopped eating so much. It took about three weeks but I quickly started losing weight. I have now lost roughly 25 pounds. My friends are convinced I'm becoming anorexic but I'm still obese(medically). I've had an eating disorder before which I briefly mentioned earlier so it nothing I'm new to. I know it unhealthy but I really don't want to stop. I want to be pretty like my friends. Even my mom commented the other day on how good I'm looking. I can't stop now.

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I have read all 4 posts you have made today. You are struggling with so many things. Thinking you have PTSD, your friends don’t care for you, eating disorders, self harming, your time in the mental health system.

I had anorexia for 13 years, complicated by severe depression. I’ve been fully recovered for 8 years. I’m 51 now.

You can be anorexic and still be overweight. What you are ideally doing in my opinion is finding another vessel to cope with your pain. This particular vessel can be dangerous and even fatal. Once you become too weak and malnourished, you’ll be put on feeding tubes if it comes to that. When you lose weight you lose muscle too. The heart is a muscle as well, but we don’t think about that do we? You can lose weight slowly and in a heathy way that sets you up for maintaining weight loss through the rest of your life, eating well helps your mental health as well.

Please rethink your idea of wanting to be pretty, because we cant be pretty or feel pretty if we are suffering internally and the physical pain and weakness from lack of eating you inflict on yourself. You may have stopped bulemia, but you have not recovered the mind and thinking behind it.

I don’t know what type of therapy or meds, or behavioral therapy you have received, but up to this point it seems you need different therapy. All I can do is encourage you to eat and get in touch with your doctor, search for internet counseling for eating disorders.

I leave you with this, the first step to getting anywhere else beside where you are, is deciding your are not where you want to be. You are reaching for help I think (hope) hence you’ve been on 4 forums here to talk, so I hope you continue with reaching and searching to get the help you need.

Hotlines and support

In the U.S.: National Eating Disorders Association or call 1-800-931-2237 (National Eating Disorders Association)

UK: Beat Eating Disorders or call 0345 643 1414 (Helpfinder)

Australia: Butterfly Foundation for Eating Disorders or call 1800 33 4673 (National Eating Disorders Collaboration)

Canada: Service Provider Directory or call 1-866-633-4220 (NEDIC)