Bulimia or no?

[Courthelp]

I dont know if I have an eating disorder or not. When it first started I knew what it was and that it can kill you but I didn't care because it would mean skinny. I'm only 14 and 67kg. Anyway so I started out diet and Exercise normally for about 2 weeks then when i realised I wasn't getting skinny I started fasting every now and then. I wouldn't eat breakfast,lunch or any snacks but I had to eat dinner then after that I would binge and sometimes purge. weight would consume my every thought I would see people walking and think I'd like to look like that or I could be skinnier then her. At this time my friends at school noticed I wasn't eating and I said it was because I wanted to be healthier and there wasn't any healthy food in the house to eat so I just don't eat as much but still eat. Sometimes I would also binge and then throw up as a way to not gain weight then after a month and a half or so I thought I'm doing very bad I'm going to be normal so I started exercising normal and eating healthier. This was good for a while like 3 weeks then I realised I wasnt losing weight so I would eat breakfast lunch and dinner normally but in snacks I would binge and purge. I'm scared because no one knows about this and I can't tell my parents because they will think I'm weird and a loser so I would like someone to please tell me what I should do??

[TPepper]

Hello!

Foremost, maybe you should go to the GP and get a referral. You may feel like you are fine or you may not want to talk to a GP, but first of all, think about what may happen if it gets worse. What the GP will do is that they will contact the ED services in your local area and they will get back to you and refer you to someone who can help.

The problem with not being able to tell your parents is that because you are 14, all your medical records can be accessed by your parents and you will need an adult to come with you to an appointment. Do you maybe have an older sibling or family member who could got to the GP with you?

Also, does your school perhaps have a mentoring department? Maybe you would be able to talk to them? Is there maybe a teacher at school you could talk to? If I can remember correctly, what you say is confidential unless you tell them something about abuse or if you are in immediate harm.

It is definitely worth doing something about your problems. I have struggled with eating for like 8 years now and whilst there are good moments, things have generally got worse. I'd like to think that if I got help earlier, I'd have saved myself a lot of suffering and problems. Also, if you have an ED, it's not something that is just a phase. It will keep coming back.

Hopes this helps!

If you want someone to talk to, you can pm.

[crazycrossstitcher]

You really need to see a Dr as a matter of urgency - you have the start of an illness that needs urgent treatment before you do harm yourself physically - if you have a school Dr or counsellor go and see them and talk to them about what is going on. I always feared telling my parents what was going on - but it was the best thing I ever did - instead of them rejecting me they opened their arms and helped and supported me - I really needed their help - so maybe telling your parents would also help. ABC has a good website and helpline as does BEAT - so do access these.

[Rubie1996]

Hi Courthelp 😊 Firstly (I hope this doesn't sound patronising) I think it's really brave that you opened up about your concerns here, it's a difficult thing to do and it's great that you have done that 😊

Also, what you're coping with sounds very draining and that must be hard on top of being a teenager and dealing with just being a teen (my eating disorder started approximately three years ago when I was a teenager too so I can empathise with you)

It sounds like you need some professional support and some emotional support with what you're going through. And I know how scary that can seem, I hid mine too for a long time because I thought my family wouldn't understand, but now they know they're very supportive 😊

Is there a close friend , teacher, school mentor/ nurse, Connexions centre or family member you can speak to? Sometimes a problem shared really is a problem halved 😊

Also, there's a lot of organisations which help you, such as BEAT who help support individuals with eating disorders and there is always Child Line who you can talk to even about the emotional side of things and they're confidential.

I noticed you said you were worried that your parents would think you're weird or a loser because of an eating disorder, but I promise you you're none of things.

I wish you all the best and really encourage you to tell someone you can trust how you're feeling and perhaps they can help and support you with finding professional help if that's what you chose to pursue. I know that sounds scary but it's not as scary but it's not nearly as scary as it seems at all😊

A message away if you need some one to talk to about it! X