i don't know whats wrong with me

[bethay]

around october last year, i got quite stressed and made myself throw up a bit, wanting to lose weight before my 18th party and feeling very fat...after a while this stopped, i stopped throwing up and thought it was fine.

Ive just finished a really stressful year at school studying a levels, and found it hard to deal with studying as well as meeting with friends etc. i started throwing up again, cancelling loads of plans, i just feel really down and mum keeps asking whats wrong but i have nothing to say. she says i've shut her and dad out but i don't know how to tell them.

i read some stuff online and people said telling doctors didnt help cause it isn't taken seriously. i mean i go through periods of being sick 3/4 times a week, but like this week i[ve only been sick once (today) it really changes, so i don't think it's a proper ED i just don't know whats wrong with me.

I have lost a stone and a half in the past 3/4 months i think but it doesn't really show. i'm just worried about hte complications being sick can cause, i'm not stupid and i know this isn't good for me, but once my brain tells me to do it, i just end up doing it.

It's particularly hard for me to tell my parents because my mum really worries and stresses out about everything in life, and i think is a bit depressed herself so i don't want to give her something to worry about too!

any help on what you think is wrong with me/what i can do please. i'm off to uni in sept and i don't wanna be ill there.

[crazycrossstitcher]

If you can't talk to your parents - talk to your GP or a school/college counsellor. You need to get help before you go to university - I went to university and took the problem with me - things got worse for me as the stress of the new situation etc just piled on the anxiety. So do please seek help - if you can talk to your parents that would be good - but treatment now will save you from a life times of difficulties - I speek from experience. Take care - thinking of you.

[PoppyRose]

Morning Bethay,

You're right about GPs/ nurses attitudes not taking you seriously. The last appointment with my daughter probably same age as you, was soul destroying. Nevertheless, there's a service so use it!

Have a look on the 'anxiety' forum and re post it there. I have read people there having the same problem with stress - that's what it is. In my opinion.

I was physically ill some years ago, every time after a meal and so lost too much weight and became ill.

I went to the docs as I thought I might be expecting again! Not a good time as we were just moving house and hadn't banked on a 4th child lol but it turned out to be 'stress.'

Once I worked this out it helped me and stopped.

It was nothing major and I wasn't worried but my body reacted in a way I had no idea could.

Please repost on the anxiety page too! I'm sure you'll get more responses.

By the way by keeping it from you parents, friends, family GP, teachers etc.... you are causing MORE stress, much healthier for you to release it.

As a mother I was devastated when I found out about things my children had gone through without telling me - of course it gave me something else to worry about or deal with - but that's my job!!

You mother will be devastated too that you are getting worse and keeping it from her. PLEASE speak to her, all you nee to say it 'whenever I feel anxious my body (not you ) wants to be sick' .

Good luck, stick with Uni you'll be fine. keep us posted. xx

[tclementi]

With the throwing up, shutting down and anxiety, from my personal experience, I would say you have the beginnings of an eating disorder. I would recommend seeing another doctor, psychologist or an eating disorder specialist.

Often, doctors don't recognize the early signs of eating disorders; that's why a specified person would be helpful. Remember that you are in control of your brain, you have a choice and are not slave to your brain.

Please talk to your parents. Parents naturally worry about their children and worry increases when there isn't communication. I learned this from my relationship with my mom. Talking and being honest with her will definitely help.

We are here to support you! Know you are worthy of recovery.

[redrocket]

Hi There Bethay, It breaks my heart reading your post above. I know exactly how you feel, and understand why you have been doing what you are doing. It's very hard for anyone not affected by ED's to understand why we do what we do, be it starving ourselves or bingeing and purging. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for over 10 years. It wasn't until I was about 27 when I suddenly took a look at myself, and the realisation that I had been putting my body through torture for years and years shocked me. I won't lie and tell you that my recovery was easy, as I had a few hiccups on the way but I did recover. And I know lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of people who have recovered. I give talks locally to young children to help them, educate them and encourage them to realise that the first step is to like yourself, both inside and out. That's the first step, and one of the hardest steps. I am here for you if you need to talk to someone. Don't give up on yourself.