I have been struggeling with a binge starve cycle for a while now and its really depressing me... I just dont know what to do

[Useless-fatty]

This is my first time here... I think i may need help but nit even sure if it is a disorder i have. I binge on thousands of calories to the point where i cannont eat anymore and fall asleep in a food coma, then i am disgusted with myself for eating such bad food i will starve on bare minimum calories for days to get back down in weight... Then the cycle starts again... I hate myself so bad and i just dint know what to do, i am depressed and dont want to leave the house for days after a binge as people will know i binged and can see the weight i have gained, after a binge i look in the mirror and i am so fat

[Hidden]

It is good that you have written so openly here. It does sound like an eating disorder (bulimia) but I would urge you to seek professional diagnosis & help both for the depression and for the eating disorder. There are also very helpful booklets available from Anorexia Bulimia Care.

The good news is that it is possible to break out of the cycle and to learn a new healthy way to think and treat food.

Sorry I personally haven't experienced bulimia but I am sure there are others that have so they can give you more specific thoughts.

[darklark]

you are not useless ... many people suffer (I use the word because it is suffering) from / with eating disorders of various types, and I have been one of those people. I still struggle from time to time, so the rout to recovery is not always straight forward. Don't give up. Learn to value yourself. Trust in yourself. Seeking help is a start. Getting better may feel as frightening as being ill - but your life will be a thousand times better on the other side of the illness, free to explore your life without the burden of an eating disorder. It is not your fault. Step one - and you can get better. Step two. And you are not alone. Step 3. You can do it ... good luck.

[Useless-fatty]

Thankyou both for your reply... This is truely very hard for me, so far i havnt eaten in 2days after my 3day binge... I never even contemplated that i may have an eating disorder. I had always been a big girl but after losing 6 stone i became obsessed witn dieting and now i have realised that my relationship with food is just not the same anymore. I feel good when i am restricting but feel guilty and fat when i eat. I wouldnt even know where to start to get help, in all honesty im too ashamed to tell anyone... The depression and feeling like a failure when i eat just truely gets me down and i cant see any way out of this vocious cycle.

[summerdays15]

This is exactly how i feel. i went to doctors and my gp referred me on to a clinic (camhs), i now see a specialist in eating disorders. i still have a majorly long way to go but i urge you to go and see your gp. Its the very first step of many in your recovery. once i had seen my gp it felt like a huge weight had been lifted of my shoulders. please speak to some one close to you it will make you feel so much better to k now that there are people around you that care .